Ruin

Secrets

2012-01-22T19:39:00.000-08:00

Neither Jimmy nor I were in a rush to get there. We said it was because we didn't want to scare off anyone else who might have come to pay their own respects. But I had a feeling that he was just as nervous as I was. Comforting people wasn't exactly his thing. Jimmy was definitely a man who did better in theoretical comfort-- keeping things nice and safe so the villagers could sleep at night.

As for me, I didn't know what Pat would do or say. Would she ignore me? Would she cry? What would be on her mind?

By the time we arrived, most of the people were gone. I worried that we were too late, and then I saw her. Pat looked both incredibly mature and incredibly young. The stress of two such different traits on her face made her look exhausted. I wanted to swoop her up, if she'd let me, and just hold her close. I wanted to give her a moment of peace.

Rita was slowly making her way out. There was a woman who was attached to her arm, but Rita didn't seem to be enjoying her company. When she saw us, she managed to excuse herself and make her way to us. The woman took one look at Rita's destination and took off without her, not even looking back.

Rita looked older. Her hair was loose, a rare thing for her, and she wore the darkest outfit she'd probably been able to find in her closet-- a gray skirt and a light colored sweater. When she was near, she didn't stop. She stepped right into Jimmy's arms and gave him a hug as if it was natural, and he didn't stop her. In fact, he wrapped his arms around her in return.

She stepped back, the tiniest sprinkle of a tear on her lashes as she stepped over to get a hug from me. We hadn't hugged before either, but there wasn't anything else I could do but return it awkwardly.

She wiped her eyes and sniffled a bit before she said, "You should go see her. She'll want to see you, you know."

I didn't know what to say, so I stood there like a dumbass. Jimmy gave me a shove to help me get my feet moving. As I walked away from them, I looked back to see Jimmy reaching out a hand for her elbow to help lead her back to the bar just up the dirt road.

Pat wasn't looking at anyone. She had her head down, and her eyes closed with both hands over her face. Her thoughts, always a whirlwind, were now silent. It wasn't difficult to understand how she was feeling, and I hesitated, unsure that I would actually be of any use to her.

Then she saw me. I half-expected her to shove me out of the way as she ran past me. Instead, she ran right into my arms, and I held her close. She was shaking though she wasn't sobbing. We stayed together like that for a while without speaking. Eventually her breathing became more normal and her shaking stopped.

She still didn't move for a while. When she finally did manage to disengage herself, she looked up at me with a bitter smile that didn't reach her bloodshot eyes.

"Do you want a drink? I could sure go for one. Or more."

Jimmy and Rita had headed towards the bar. I didn't feel like being trapped with the two of them inside the small bar. It also didn't seem like a good idea to invade their quiet time. There had to be a lot they needed to say to one another. A drink sounded like a good idea, but in town, the best place to get it was from Pat's. If we took off in search of it, there'd be questions, and I didn't feel like talking to anyone else.

But we also couldn't stand in front of the reminder. I took her hand. "C'mon."

She didn't fight against me. She followed me, holding tightly to my fingers.

Crisis

2012-01-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

"Brandon, something's happened."

Jimmy walked quickly to me, his voice low. There were others nearby, but at the sight of him striding so purposefully towards me, they suddenly found things to do away from me.

It wasn't a good sign if Jimmy was seeking me out. The look on his face was enough to make me want to disappear. He looked angry, but not the kind of angry that contorted his face. Whatever had happened was something that made him have to keep a level head. That was a very bad sign.

"What is it?"

Jimmy paused in front of me, turning his head a bit, though he still was watching me, trying to figure out how to say what he had to say. I wished I could just read his mind, but as always, it was a frustratingly black hole. He took a breath and spit it out. "Frank and two other villagers were attacked on the way out."

I didn't know what it meant. Why did he feel a need to tell me? My stomach dropped even as my mind fought to keep up. There had to be a reason he was telling me this. "Are they okay? Why are you telling me?"

Jimmy ran a hand up his forehead and through his hair. "Frank's dead."

Pat. That's why he was telling me. I sat down on an old crate that wobbled beneath me. I didn't know what to say or even what he expected me to do. The last time I'd seen Frank he'd been very alive. He'd looked like a man who'd outlive me, just one of those people who won't let go.

"Didn't they have someone with them?"

"They did. They were surprised by a couple of younger scavengers. They shot at the cart and hit Frank, then they took off."

I rubbed at my face. I couldn't believe it. This was a nightmare. The scavengers were not usually confrontational. I'd run across them from time to time, and usually they tried to avoid us. There was a standard agreement-- we'd leave them alone if they left us alone. This would turn everything to shit. The younger ones coming of age were known to be volatile and hot tempered. In some ways I could understand their anger, but they didn't want to be a part of the tribe either. They wanted to be independent, and that wasn't possible for anyone, even the children of the Experiments.

"How're Pat and Rita?" The words came out slow. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it.

"They're burying him tomorrow." Jimmy crossed his arms and left the obvious answer unsaid.

Pat had asked for space, and I'd given it to her. It'd been months since I'd seen her on purpose. All those times I's seem her on accident while going through the village didn't count.

"We should pay our respects." Jimmy said it quietly. It surprised me at first. He wasn't one for burials. There had only been one I could remember him being present for-- a small private ceremony that was just between the two of us on the plains between the city and the Southlands Village.

But there was something between Jimmy and Rita. I'd caught specks of memories from her of Jimmy as a young boy and flashes of my mother. Though I couldn't pick up emotions, the memories she had were so strong, the feelings about them colored the scenes. They made her sad and even a little wistful.

The other half of her memories were locked inside Jimmy's head and dealt with the time in his life before I'd come along. That time was off limits for me to ask about. It wasn't just a tribe thing, it was an understanding between the two of us. He didn't want to talk about it, and out of respect I didn't ask.

"Did you hear me? We should pay our respects."

I stood up and nodded. "Okay. Fine." My stomach folded in on itself. Would Pat want to see me at one of the worst moments in her life?

"You should know; I have people out there looking for the ones who did it."

I wouldn't have expected any less from him. "They might do it again."

Jimmy looked me dead in the eye. "I have a feeling that when you see her, you're going to want to do it yourself."

I found myself biting my lip. Maybe that was exactly what I was scared of.

I'd rather be delivering a story post

2011-11-20T12:19:00.000-08:00

I was reading through a friend's story blog, and I noticed it had been five weeks since I last updated. Yikes! I really didn't mean to go that long, but I haven't turned on Sims at all, not even to play Pets. It is possible that I just don't feel like playing sims right now, since this stuff usually goes in phases anyway. But I think my main problem is just that I keep alternating between feeling really great and like total crap. It's not a winter specific sickness, just the regular, "You think you can write?" bug.

I'm pushing on, but I don't have much energy to wrestle with sims by the end of the day. (Though I can see the next scene so clearly in my head...)

In the meantime, what am I working on? Let's see if you all recognize him. :D

This is just the rough color copy. The artist's DA page can be found here.

Distance

2011-10-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

Pat was watching me strangely. "Did you say something to my dad?"

She'd always been observant, just like her mother, Rita. I glanced up at her, hoping to pull off innocent though it had been a long time since I had been.

"Why would you ask?"

"He apologized when he came back." Pat fiddled with the hem of her shirt. "And Mom was the one who said it'd be okay to see you again." She met my eyes, her own nearly as sharp as the few high ranking mothers we had in the tribe. "She wouldn't say that unless Dad had said something to her, but he's too stubborn to tell me."

I didn't know what to say. It's not that lying is hard for me, just lying to Pat. I hesitated, and she caught it right away. "You did! You talked to my father? Why would you talk to my father?"

She gave me a hard shove on my shoulder with the last question. I couldn't help being reminded of her father right then. She was so like Frank sometimes that it was downright creepy.

"Why did you talk to him?" She repeated, but this time she spoke softly, her thoughts coming to one conclusion.

"Because you were hurt. He was wrong, and he knew he was wrong. He would've apologized anyway."

She kept her eyes on me. "So then why did you talk to him?"

I could feel the blood rushing up my neck to my ears. "I was pissed off. I didn't want him to think that someone like me could just come in and sweep you away."

Pat was surprised. I could hear her thought as clear as if she spoke it, But you probably could. She was looking down at the ground, but she almost seemed to sway towards me. I reached out for her and wrapped my arms around her. She didn't fight it. We stood together for a while, right there at the back fence to her parent's house. It was the first time we'd ever been that brazen, and yet there was still something wrong. Her thoughts had grown quiet, and she held onto me tightly as if she dreaded letting go.

Finally she spoke. "This can't work out, can it?" She didn't move. Her voice was soft in my ear. It wasn't really a question, just gentle resolve. She said it because she believed it. We were both almost adults; our time was short. Maybe the time to enjoy each others company had already passed.

"You can't marry me," She said as she stepped back. "I'm probably never going to leave the village, and you can't join the village. You're going to have to do whatever it is that you do."

A thought of hers bubbled up over the buzz of her other thoughts, Before I get hurt. Before you hurt someone. I wondered if she even knew it was there between the two of us.

I didn't know what to say. It couldn't end like that. It seemed too soon. Our time together was so short and so spread out that it didn't count. We'd never really gotten anywhere, and we were never going to get anywhere if I couldn't say something to encourage her and convince her that it could work out if we wanted it to.

There were things about me she didn't know yet, things I actually hadn't offered to tell her. I wasn't exactly sure why I held back. Maybe I held back for the same reasons I'd guess Jimmy held back too. Because it still hurt years later, even as I approached real adulthood. And because somewhere deep inside, I did worry about Pat and I becoming too close. It wasn't safe. Hadn't that already been proven to me?

I didn't want to become like Jimmy or Henri. I didn't want to be one of those men who seemed to only live for their jobs and their duties. It was my chance right there, with Pat, to change things, to send us down a different path, and I couldn't.

Pat turned away from me without saying a word. She couldn't look me in my eyes. Whatever thoughts were on her mind were so busy and jumbled that I couldn't catch any of them, but she acted as if she thought I could.

"Maybe we should give it a rest for a little. It's not really fair to you, is it?"

I wanted to say something, but she was already walking away, hoping that I wouldn't follow. It didn't feel as if following would do any good. Things could only get worse. So I left her alone, and let her go.

Next Chapter -->

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ha! Bet you didn't think you'd see an update from me this week!

My interview at Sim Storytellers. Also, I'm hosting a giveaway on my writing blog for the proof copy of the book and an advanced copy of The Two Brothers, which will be a brand new, never released story. Just in case anyone would care for what I'm calling book prototypes.

I was also on Shana Norris' blog talking about Ruin and the inspiration behind it.

Sim Storytellers

2011-09-26T13:04:00.001-07:00

If you don't know this LJ com, you're missing out! They post very interesting interviews with many different sim storytellers, and it's a great way to find other stories.

Well now it's my turn. You should be able to post anonymously there. You can also post here if you feel more comfortable. This first week we take your questions, and next week I answer them.

Even if you don't participate with this one, take a look at the other spotlights! So many interesting people. It really gives you an idea as to the wide variety of sims players. (Another reason I love the sims. There is no limit.)

Apologize

2011-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

They saw me coming. A couple of people from the village were loading a cart for a trading trip, and at the sight of me stalking towards them, they stood back and pretended to inspect the goods they were loading on the cart. It left Frank standing alone and exposed, unaware of my approach until I called his name.

"Frank."

He turned, surprised to hear me call his name, and, once he recognized me, angry that I would dare. I stepped up to him as he looked down at me. Frank was as tall as Henri, and I wasn't fully grown yet, not that I'd ever be as tall as either of those men.

"Boy." He said it roughly, meant it to demean me. He was expecting a low ranking tribe member, not me. "What do you want?"

I was so angry, I wasn't sure what to say or how to begin. It was important not to show weakness or immaturity in front of Frank; he was waiting for that. I needed to be clear, and I needed to strike cleanly.

"You need to apologize to Pat."

Frank crossed his arms and stared me down. Any reasonable man would back away from that look of his, but I was hardly a man and I wasn't really reasonable. Not right then, not with the image of Pat barely holding back her tears clear on my mind.

"Are you telling me how to raise my daughter?" He stepped towards me, expecting me to step back. Again a reasonable man would have. "Don't think I don't know you were the one sneaking her off and doing who knows what with her."

He looked pissed enough to reach out and grab for my neck. I wanted him to try. With all the training I'd had, not just from the tribe, but extra time spent with Jimmy for "fun," I would be ready for him. I wanted him to test me. Intead he walked away from me, turning his back on me to show me he didn't feel threatened.

I followed after him, the few feet to the cart. "I haven't done anything with her. Pat isn't like that."

The villagers who had been pretending not to watch had given up pretending and were both now standing and watching the two of us, expecting someone to get hurt.

Frank turned and reached out for me, most likely to push me back, but I was too quick. I reached forward and pushed his arms to the side, throwing him off balance so that he had to grab onto the side of the cart as he fell back on it. That only pissed him off, and he pushed himself forward, swinging a fist at me.

I hopped back then and let his slow punch pass me by. Not only did I have training, plus extra training, but I had youth on my side. He wouldn't be able to move as quickly as I could, not with his large size or his long limbs. There are disadvantages to being too tall.

"You ballsy little fucker." He stood up straight and glared at me, wanting to reach out and wring my neck. I could see the image of it in his mind. If I'd have held still long enough, he'd have put both large hands around my neck and squeezed until I passed out, then left me there while they loaded the cart and headed off on their trip. "What gives you the fuckin' right to tell me how to raise my daughter?"

He was pissed, and now that I'm a father myself, I can understand. If he were still alive today we'd probably be sharing drinks, laughing about that time with him making fun of me for replaying it with my own daughter. Except there would be a difference. Unlike him, I know what my daughter thinks after I reprimand her unfairly. I know how much she looks up to me and her mother, and how easily words can hurt.

Frank had found out about us. He'd seen me walk her back from the meadow. We'd been careless. I'd taken to holding her hand, at first with the excuse that she might trip down the hill and have to explain grass stains on her clothes, and then later on with no excuse and for far too long. Though I hadn't been there with her when she faced him, I had been back two weeks later when she ended it, his words running through her head continuously.

"Because I fuckin' care." I stepped forward and gave him a shove back onto the cart. "She's not a whore. She's not like that. And if you knew what I knew, you'd regret saying that to her."

I glared up at him, listening with all my senses. He reached forward to push me back and I let him, stepping back when he shoved so that I'd keep my balance. Emotions weren't always packaged with the thoughts I picked up, especially not the more complicated emotions, but I could see the regret in his eye and hear it in his thoughts. He already knew I was right and he already regretted it. But he was a man as stubborn as Henri.

Telling him what to do would do no good. I couldn't make him do it now after our confrontation, and I couldn't suggest he do it once he got back. He would resist all the more even knowing he had been wrong.

"Get out of here, boy."

I turned and threw a glare over to the two villagers who were watching us. They looked from me to Frank, most likely getting the same look from the both of us, and then they went back to work as if they had seen nothing.

Next Chapter -->

As Laura says

2011-09-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

...this is why I've got nothing.

Sorry the update is now a month late! A lot of things have been going on. First off, I met my extended family. And by extended, I mostly mean really far away. An older half sister of mine and her daughter. It was their first visit out, and the first time in about 40 years that my oldest half sister has even seen our father.

Plus, another story I've been working on for publishing has just been finished. An all new story which is the companion to Ruin\Paula's story. This one is about Jimmy and his experience with Killer. I'm excited to work on that one. It's much shorter, but has a lot more action than Paula's story. An artist has already been found for the cover too! That's how close I am. I'm hoping to have it out by December.

Also, I'm working on a print version of Paula's story. (See above.) My boyfriend is reading through it mercilessly, picking out every little typo and odd formatting error to make sure it looks good. (Which then gets me going-- "omg, how did I miss that? But is the story good? Really?" That is why loved ones shouldn't read my stuffs-- I will drive him crazy-- but he's got a great no non-sense eye for these things, and he's never read the story before.)

And I've been beta reading for Laura of Lakeside Heights. She is amazing. I'm certain that anyone reading this blog here is already reading Laura's stuff, so I can only rub it in your faces that I get to be one of the special people to take a first look at her story. Nyah! (Was that a jerky thing to do?) I've also been beta reading for Van of Naroni (among many), and if you aren't reading her stuff, you should be!

It sounds like I'm really busy, but I'm not. I'm just lazy, so I try to do as much as possible in as little time as possible. That is also what I call efficiency. :) I'm hoping that I'll get things back to "normal" soon-ish here.

Trouble

2011-08-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

"You know you like it."

Pat laughed and looked down to the ground. We stood in the meadow, our meadow, a strong breeze blowing between us as we stood on the hill over looking the village. We had been meeting there secretly for a month or two and for that entire time she'd been lying and telling her father that she was in the village with her friends. He wouldn't have approved of the two of us hanging out alone together though we had done nothing. Pat kept her distance, but her walking off with me was clearly a sign of her own curiosity.

Her thoughts were quiet, but there was a sad buzz around her. It had been something I'd noticed on my last trip out when I'd snuck her off, but I hadn't pried. I could feel her on the edge of spilling her thoughts, the ones I'd only caught flashes of when we were together, and I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to speak to me.

"Pat, what is it? I can tell something's on your mind."

The wind pushed her hair across her face as she looked up, lifting her eyebrows and turning the corners of her mouth down a little bit. She thought about it, the buzz of her thoughts quieting as the breeze died away a little, and then she finally said, "You can't be happy with just this," she finally said.

I wasn't sure what to think. She wasn't jealous, at least it wasn't in her thoughts. "What do you mean?"

She didn't look away. Her eyes bore straight into me, and I stood there in front of her like I was a kid again, faced with a girl who was completely alien to me even though I could hear her thoughts. "You've been with other girls. You only see me once every two weeks. You can't mean this is okay."

I couldn't help smirking at her. "Are you saying you want more?"

Her eyes went wide. With the bright sunlight against her dark skin, I couldn't see it, but I knew she had to be blushing. "No! That's not what I meant at all. I just mean-- I mean--"

She fumbled for her words, not wanting to insinuate we were more than we were but at the same time realizing this had to mean something to me just the same as it meant to her. These were all things I could catch her thinking at once, as clear as if she whispered them to me. I've never been able to read emotions, but I could understand.

As she stumbled, I leaned over and kissed her. She tensed at first, and I pulled back just enough to catch her eye to see if she would bolt. She didn't seem to know if she would stay or make some excuse to get the hell out of there. But then she relaxed, and I moved in closer, wrapping my arms around her waist as she put her arms over my shoulders, and we continued, standing underneath the blossoming cherry tree. Her thoughts were still again, her lips were soft, her kisses sweet and tentative.

I pulled her closer, enjoying the warmth of her body against me, when I suddenly felt her tense again and then pull back.

"What's that?" She was looking down at my pants. I was already ready to apologize when she reached forward and lifted up my shirt to reveal the knife in its sheath on my belt. "A knife? Do you always have a knife? Why do you have a knife in the village?"

I gave a shrug, but it was obviously something that seemed to bother her. Her buzzing thoughts were difficult to read, none stood out over any of the others. "I always have a knife."

She paused to swallow, gathering her thoughts. "Brandon, have you ever hurt anyone?"

"No. Not on purpose. There was a training accident once where I broke someone's arm, but that's it."

Pat eyed me. It was as if she had expected that I would lie to her about something and she'd finally discovered what. She kept her hand on my shirt, holding it up so that she could keep checking out the knife in its sheath, but I caught her thoughts drifting to my abs and how flat my stomach was. I caught her thought over the rest, chatising herself for being shallow, and then she noticed me watching her with a slight smile. Another quick thought of hers rose above the rest that then slipped out of her mouth without thinking.

"Oh crap. I don't like this reading minds thing." She replaced my shirt and took a step back. "You're going to have to hurt someone someday, aren't you?"

Her voice was flat, but her thoughts clear. I couldn't lie to her. "To protect someone I care about, it's a possibility."

It wasn't a fact I was proud of, and it wasn't something I looked forward to. Hardly anyone did despite their bragging and their bravado. It was all show as most things in the Wildland had to be.

Pat held still for a moment before she stepped close and let me wrap my arms around her again. Her thoughts had calmed, and it was just us, the two of us, standing there on that hill. "Well then let's enjoy now."

Next Chapter -->

Post is coming!

2011-08-12T08:38:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure that there will be a post coming this weekend sometime.

In the meantime, the book is out on Smashwords. Get it for free with this code: PA66B

Control

2011-07-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

"I should tell you--"

I paused. Pat and I sat in the meadow together-- what we'd later on come to think of as our meadow. But right then it was nothing but a new place that I'd convinced her to go, sneaking off with me in the middle of the afternoon when she was supposed to be pulling the weeds from her mother's plants. She still wore the gloves even though it was pretty warm, and she sat far enough away from me that we could have fit a third person comfortably between us.

She glanced over her shoulder, her long lashes shielding her eyes. "What?"

I'd always felt a little guilty for those who didn't know about my power, but never that guilty. Sitting there with Pat, I realized the unfair advantage I had, and I was embarrassed by it. "I, uh, hear other people's thoughts."

Pat stiffened and her thoughts went blank so that even the buzzing little aura of bright thoughts disappeared. "What?" She turned towards me, her eyes wide open, and before I could answer, she had a hand to her mouth. "Oh god. How much have you heard?"

It was not an appropriate time to laugh, but I did. "If it makes you feel better, I think you're cute too."

She dropped to the grass throwing one gloved hand over her face. I was sure she'd get up and just walk away.

Then to my surprise, and her own, she started to laugh. She pressed her hand to her mouth and tried her best to be serious. "Well stop it. That's..." She was going to say weird, but it would be rude. "That's not right."

I gave a shrug. "I can't. I don't have any control over it." I stretched a foot out and leaned back. "It's not every thought I pick up. Just the really clear ones that rise over the rest. I call 'em strays."

She still looked shocked with wide eyes and her lips smashed under her fingers. I'd hoped that away from the house she'd loosen up, and it seemed she had but my need to be honest with her had put her on guard again.

I scratched at my head. "Look, I don't usually-- I mean, it's just that--" I looked at her, expecting the same shocked face, but she'd moved her hand. Though her smile hadn't reappeared, her eyes folded gently as if she could understand. I gave a sigh. "Most people don't know. It's not something I want everyone knowing."

"Why not? Doesn't that seem like something they should know?"

A blade of grass tickled my hand. I gave thought very carefully to my next words. "It's a good idea to be able to hold some things back. You never know what will be to your advantage. It's something my brother and Henri have taught me."

Her thoughts were back, and I could hear her thinking out loud to herself. "Why would he tell me that? Is there something else he's telling me? Who's Henri?" Of all those questions, she went with the last one. "Who's Henri?"

I'd been waiting for it. Something else she should know. It was something everyone already knew, but always forgot, and I was sure Pat knew it too. "Henri's my dad."

Pat knew right away. She nearly brought her hand up to the side of her head when she remembered. She took a sharp breath and then gave me a smile. "You're just gift wrapped trouble."

Next Chapter -->

Memory

2011-07-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

The memory was strong. I saw myself standing in a garden, my brother walking up behind me, Rita to the side. Jimmy didn't look very happy in the memory. He wasn't usually in those days.

I brought a hand up and ran it through my hair as I stood on the hill, my feet sinking into the sand and filling up my shoes. The memory was one I remembered, just barely, but it wasn't mine.

I looked up towards the water and saw a dark skinned girl standing with her arms at her sides and her feet apart as if she planned on bolting. Her problem became obvious right away. I was blocking the one path back up to the village unless she wanted to climb up the rocks. It was ridiculous that she'd be worried about passing me on such a wide trail, and yet there she stood.

She shifted. Her shoes were in her hands. She crossed her arms and thought, "I'm not scared."

I wondered what was being said about me that she would be scared. Then the memory hit me again. My brother. It wasn't really me she was scared of. This was something that happened more to me when I was a kid. But standing there as a teenager and a tribe member in my own right, it seemed almost ridiculous that Jimmy was on her mind when she had no idea what I could do.

I walked down the hill towards her and watched her bravado falter for a second before she turned away, her arms still crossed. I caught her thought right away, "Oh no."

The wind was strong. I had to wait until I was nearly next to her before I could speak and be sure she would hear me. "Excuse me," I said to the back of her head. She ignored me at first, but I knew she'd heard me.

I stepped around in front of her and stood a little closer to her than was necessary. "I know you, don't I?"

She stood taller, stiffening for a moment, her eyes growing wide before she gave a frown. "No you don't."

She spoke it like she could control thoughts, and maybe she could, because I was already tied to her. "I do." I thought back to the memory. In it I'd looked at her, but I couldn't remember seeing her. Still, I could guess. "You're Rita's daughter."

The memory poured from her again as she thought about it, tempted to deny it. I wondered why she would bother lying. It seemed like a lot of work for something that wouldn't deter me if she was just trying to put me off. And then I caught another memory, a more recent memory. Me walking in the market picking up supplies, and she almost ran into me. The thought made me smile because then I knew what was going on and why I'd never seen her. She'd been avoiding me.

"Look, I've gotta go." She started backing away from me. "My parents need me."

I took a step forward, not wanting her to go but not knowing what to say. That wasn't something that happened frequently. This girl was different in every way, even her thoughts felt different. They buzzed around her like a bright shining aura. Though I couldn't pick up anything but strong individual thoughts, the group of them surrounded her as she thought a million things at once, some conflicting.

She lifted her hand to her stomach. My own stomach gave a twinge as she turned and walked away.

"Hey, can't I at least get your name?"

She looked back. The buzzing thoughts became quiet as she mulled over whether to give me that much. Eventually, she realized I could learn it easily enough on my own by asking around, and she didn't want that. Me walking around asking about her? That would start rumors that she wasn't comfortable with.

"Patrice." She said it with a huff and a frown before walking back up the sand dune quickly with her shoes still in her hand.

Next Chapter -->

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If you're wondering what is up with that memory, then let me point you over here. It won't come up again here, but that was the last time Pat and Brandon were face to face.

Brandon

2011-07-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Brandon looks back on his relationship with Patrice.

Timeline: Brandon and Pat start out at 16. This is six years before Paula arrives in the Southlands.

Memory
Control
Trouble
Apologize
Distance
Crisis

This is not a post

2011-07-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

So I heard about this meme from Simtopi who heard about it from Simcerly, and it looked like fun so I'm going to post that instead of a regular story post.

Give me one of the characters from my story and I will tell you:

* How I feel about this character
* All the people I ship romantically with this character
* My non-romantic OTP for this character
* My unpopular opinion about this character
* One thing that will happen to this character in the future of my story.

Underground Room

2011-06-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

Rita stood in front of the door, listening for the sound of Henri's voice. The dark hall she stood in was only lit by a small oil lamp. A guard stood nearby though he looked bored sitting in his corner. It could only be a good sign. Jimmy hadn't caused any additional commotion if the guard had time to be bored.

The door opened and Henri appeared to wave her in.

Jimmy sat on a small bed in the corner with an old rusted and scratched metal frame. In his hands he held the corner of a blanket piled messily on his bed, and when he saw her, his grip on it tightened. He slid off the edge of the bed to stand up in front of her and Henri.

The light of the small electric lamp on the small table behind Jimmy was too bright. It made Rita's eyes sting and made the moment much too real. It had been years since she had last seen such a lamp, and now she wished for the softer light of a candle where she could at least pretend to hide.

Jimmy studied her face, his large gray eyes steady. "I did do it." He didn't speak with pride, but with honesty and bluntness. Rita couldn't look away from him. "He was gonna kill me."

Rita wiped at a tear with the back of her hand. Behind her, Henri shifted, but he didn't step between them. She could feel him nearly at her elbow, ready to reach out and lead her from the room if she broke down.

"I'm sorry, honey." Another tear managed to find it's way down her cheek. "I shouldn't have let you go."

Jimmy raised his brows and glanced at Henri before he looked back at her. He seemed to struggle for a moment before he softly said, "It's not your fault."

Rita wanted to close her eyes. Her head felt light, and she almost swayed, but Henri's hand was on her elbow then. She dried her eyes as best she could and tried to think of something more to ask.

"What will happen now?" She directed it to the both of them, Henri as well as Jimmy. They had to have a plan, something.

Jimmy answered her in a matter of fact way that made him seem more like an adult than a child. "Mr. Smith is gonna train me."

Rita looked to Henri, and he nodded in agreement though only a small while ago he had admitted he'd kill the boy if he had to. It was too much for her. It was just too much. She knew she would break. She could feel it coming, and there was no way to stop it. Rita looked from Jimmy to Henri as she tried to fight back the sobs she knew would come.

"Jimmy, will you let me hug you?"

He look at her through his sloppy little boy hair hanging in his face before he turned towards Henri, his dull gray eyes ever so slightly mimicking their old sparkle. "Can I?"

It surprised Henri; she could tell. "I won't stop you so long as you don't hurt her."

Jimmy nodded gravely before stepping over to her. "I wouldn't ever." She knelt down, opening her arms, and he smoothly stepped into them just as he had so many times before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upstairs, she did manage to hold it in. The bright light shining in the dirty windows brought some sense back to her. She sniffed, drawing in moist breaths as Henri stepped out ahead of her as if to get away from Jimmy all together. Rita started after him, wiping at the last few tears furiously.

"Henri, what did he do to James? How could he have-- it just doesn't seem possible."

Henri stopped right before the door. It took him a moment to answer her, but she waited, hoping something he could say would clear things up. He ran a hand through his hair.

"From what we can tell, he used one of James' own weapons-- a knife. He had it in his hands still when I saw him."

Rita still couldn't understand. Her thoughts were mud, and she worked hard to try and imagine it. "I still don't understand. He was so small compared to James."

Henri sighed. "James was an experiment. Jimmy is as much an experiment as the rest of us were."

Rita thought of those large gray eyes of his, so steady and calm and accepting. She folded her arms and glanced away from Henri.

The dirt under Henri's boots scraped the wooden floor as he turned to face her. "You know, if he had wanted to hurt you, I doubt I could have stopped him."

Rita was numb. Her eyes fell back to the floor, all the energy sapped from her body.

Henri didn't move but to give a tug to his jacket. "I barely stopped him from killing Vivian. He stopped himself more than I stopped him."

They were both quiet until Rita spoke. "You tell me this now?" She was too exhausted to feel angry or upset at him though she realized that she had unwittingly participated in his experiment.

"Would it have stopped you?"

Rita licked her lips, swallowing the salt from her tears. "No. It wouldn't have. I think we both needed it. Or am I just making that up?"

Henri's expression was blank, but he gave a shake to his head. "No. He needs to know there are people who care about him and will count on him one day for protection."

She nodded. It would begin happening more and more often-- children growing up too quickly. She could already see it happening with many of the young ones who stopped by the village. "Will that be enough for him?"

Henri sighed again, his breath deep and heavy. "There's no way to know but to wait and find out."

~Fin

Henri

2011-06-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Henri Smith, the leader of the Southlands, wasn't used to seeing people from the village wandering around what had become his land, much less having anyone come looking for him. He never came into the bar, so Rita never saw him though she knew who he was well enough.

He seemed to take it all in stride when she faced him and said, "I want to see Jimmy."

Henri looked from Rita to Shawn then back to her. "I can't do that. He could be unstable."

She hardly came up to his chest. The man was used to being imposing just the same as Frank. It was probably part of the reason Frank didn't like him. There wasn't enough room in one building much less in one town for two such imposing men. But Rita had her own strength, and it was only bolstered by the image she had in her mind of Jimmy locked up somewhere, sad and lonely. She had to see him and speak to him herself.

"I don't care. I need to see him."

Henri folded his arms and really looked at her. "Who are you? Why?"

"Rita Sherman. Vivian was my friend. I've known Jimmy since he was a baby."

Henri rolled his eyes. "Sherman? You're Frank's wife, aren't you? Shit."

Shawn hid a smile behind her hand. "Well, I see you two are now familiar with each other. I have things I need to do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Henri and Rita walked together though the streets towards the abandoned side of the city. Rita wasn't sure she could trust him, but she didn't have a choice.

As they walked, Henri said, "He's not speaking much yet."

Rita looked up at him before looking ahead. "How do you know he did this? Do you even know he did it?"

He didn't hesitate or even bother to slow his large steps for her. "I stood between him and Vivian. I saw him. I'm sure." He kept his eyes forward. "He almost looked ready to get me next. The boy's dangerous."

Rita looked away from him, praying quietly for the strength to hold her tongue. It mostly worked. "He's just a child."

Henri glared down at her then. "There's no way of knowing how what's been done on our bodies will affect any children we have."

Rita stopped. Frank had said something along the same lines to her once about the same boy Henri was now taking her to see. She couldn't stay quiet any longer. "So then what are you saying? You fear your children?"

Henri came to a stop as well. They were just outside of an old abandoned building with the windows long since broken. "No. We are aware of the issue and have plans in place for just in case."

She didn't like the way he said it."Plans?"

"If he becomes unstable again, we'll have to destroy him before he gets older."

His eyes met hers. He looked exhausted. Despite his frightening and gruff words, she could hear something else in his voice and almost see it on his face though he worked to keep it hidden and in check. Henri was a man with responsibilities, and those came first. In her rational mind she could understand how a young boy able to kill someone as strong as James could be a danger. But the rest of her fought it, refusing to believe that the boy was now a threat to everyone.

"James beat him. Did you know that?"

Henri ran his hand through his hair with a shaky sigh. "I did what I could. His father was unstable too."

Rita hated him for a moment right then. Shawn had said that Henri lived in the apartment below Vivian and Jimmy. Whatever he had done clearly hadn't been enough.

She lowered her head. Henri alone hadn't failed the boy, they both had. She could have fought to keep him with her, maybe brought more attention to the issue, made a point to come visit Henri before it had reached this, but she hadn't. Rita unclenched her fists and swiped at her eyes before they started on their way again towards another abandoned building.

Next Chapter -->

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I have a real, honest to goodness, clickable easter egg in this entry that will hopefully make a literal connection between stories. I thought it was more fun than me going, "Look here." Happy hunting! If you find it, I say share it in the comments!

Also, heh, I still feel so silly doing this, but I do it anyway. Ruin, the first novel, has a website now. The novel version of the series is also on Facebook. I know, crazy, but in my head I see the novel version going to different places than the blog will even if Paula's story (in a super rough form) is already here and now will be there. So please forgive me if I seem strange or crazy for doing that, but I do have plans for it.

The News

2011-06-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

"James is dead."

Rita stood at the table, her mouth agape. She had to remind herself to close it and swallow. "He is?"

None of them look at her. Some tapped at their glasses already in front of them. Others were bouncing their legs under the table. The one who gave her the news had looked up at her accidentally when she placed the tray on the edge of the table and blurted the words out as if he understood all the implications of her indirect tie to James. But after he'd blurted the words, he'd looked away from her and said no more.

Rita's heart contracted. "How're Vivian and Jimmy? Are they okay?"

More fidgeting. More looking away. Rita felt ready to start shaking them if they wouldn't tell her.

"Yeah, they're all right," one of the other men said finally.

Frank came up from behind her, placing his hands on her hips. "Rita, come on. Let them have their drink."

But Rita was shaking. Something wasn't right. She could feel it. It hurt that Frank knew it too and was trying to distract her.

"You know, don't you?" Rita wheeled on him. His hands fell to his sides as she moved, and he looked away. "What is it? Was Jimmy hurt? Was Vivian hurt?"

No one spoke at first. It was Shawn who finally spoke up. She looked at the men all avoiding Rita's gaze and then faced Rita. Her baby face serious enough that she almost looked her age for once. "It's Jimmy. No one wants to tell you. Jimmy killed his father."

Rita shook her head. He was only a boy six years old, soon to be seven. There was no way he could have done it. Before she could deny it, Frank's hands were on her shoulders, holding her steady, sliding down her arms to pull her to him.

"It's true." He said it like a whisper meant only for her ears though everyone was watching now. Everyone had looked up to see her reaction.

The others around the table nodded. Many of their frowns lengthened, the mood suddenly taking a dark dive now that it was out in the open. It seemed everyone sat stewed in their own thoughts, unwilling to speak any further on the subject.

Frank led Rita over to the bar. His grip on her arm was strong. "Don't get involved." He spoke it as they stood behind the bar, his voice low and only for her. "It's over."

But it wasn't over. It wouldn't be over until she saw him for herself. Rita slipped her apron over her head.

"Rita, let it be." Frank sounded stern and he looked angry, but it was nothing more than a desperate plea.

"Frank, I already failed him once in a big way, and many other times in many other small ways. I can't do it again." She looked away from him, her voice becoming nothing more than a wisp of breath.

"You don't even know if he's alive still."

Rita hadn't thought of that. She grasped at her heart, afraid that she would never get the chance to see him again. Behind her, at the bar, someone softly cleared her throat. Frank and Rita turned to look at Shawn.

"He's still alive."

Rita could feel Frank's frustration. "Will you take me to him?"

Shawn thought about it even as a horrified hush fell over the room. The men behind her probably had the same look Frank wore. "No. I will take you to see Henri though. He can decide then if you can see him or not."

Frank gave a gasp that sounded more like a groan. He reached out for her, but Rita was already on the other side of the bar before he could grab her, standing beside Shawn. Meeting the leader of the Southlands was not something she looked forward to, but she would do anything to be able to see Jimmy and somehow not fail him this time like she had so many times before.

Next Chapter -->

In the Garden

2011-06-09T19:48:00.001-07:00

"Rita..."

At the sound of the voice, Rita stood up quickly and spun on her heels, her heart beating with recognition. He stood by her fence, partially obscured by the large plants.

Jimmy looked at her through the branches, his large gray eyes making his face appear so small. She was by his side before he could say any more.

"Jimmy! What're you doing here? Where's your mother?"

He looked up at Rita and then down at the ground, his small hand resting on the railing. Rita had to kneel to look into his face, and when he glanced back up at her, his own little face was angry. "I ran away."

He was so small for his age, and so careful and cautious. Rita leaned back on her heels slightly. It was their day to visit the village, so Vivian had to be nearby. In her own way, she would be worried, but Rita was more concerned for Jimmy first.

She reached out her hand for him, encouraging him to follow her through the fence and into the garden. "Well, I'm glad you stopped by because I have something for you."

His face opened again, the eyes widening. "For me?"

Rita smiled, blinking her tears back. "I saw it and thought of you."

He slid through the fence and took her offered hand. The two of them walked together into the back door of the bar. Frank didn't exactly approve of Rita's friendship with Vivian or her concern for Jimmy. It didn't stop her, and he knew it. But she wasn't about to start a fight with him. They would be quick. Just a quick stop, and then Rita would take Jimmy off to find Vivian, hopefully happier than when he appeared.

Upstairs, in the living quarters, Rita had Jimmy wait while she dug the small gift from its hiding place. She pressed it into his hands then stepped back to watch him.

Jimmy held it in both his hands, one finger spinning the wheel. He looked up at her, his eyes large and shiny. "What is it?"

Of course he wouldn't know what one was-- very few were still in use. But nothing said boy's toy more than a small car. "It's something from when I was a kid. People used to use them to get from place to place." She gently showed him how it rolled along the ground.

Jimmy watched it, then gave it a try himself before giving a small laugh that Rita wished she could hold onto forever. She grabbed onto the sound of it, repeating it over and over in her mind until she would burn the memory in. Rita was determined to never lose this moment.

"I can keep it?" He held it in both of his hands, his eyes so wide he looked absolutely shocked.

"Of course. It's a gift from me to you."

Jimmy smiled again, all trace of the angry boy he had been ten minutes before, completely gone. "Wow!" He sat down on the ground and held the toy car in the air to look at it closely.

Rita let him for a few minutes. They had to go find his mother. She knew that. But each moment of joy from him was an extra layer she could add to the memory. If they could only stay there all afternoon.

The door opened and Frank walked in with a deep frown. Before Rita could think of what to say in her defense, Vivian walked into the room.

"Oh god, Jimmy. Don't ever do that to me again!"

The boy jumped up, his face twisted with anger. He hopped away from her, glaring at her with the toy car still clutched in his hand. "No, I wanna stay here. I don't wanna go with you."

Frank crossed his arms, his eyes on Rita. She wanted to defend Jimmy and fight to keep him, but she knew it was impossible. The village wouldn't allow Jimmy to stay. He was the son of the second in command of the tribe. No one would want to get involved and risk the wrath of the tribe, especially such a large and dangerous man.

Vivian faced her. "What did you do? What did you say to him to make him act like this?"

Rita took a step back, her hands in the air. "Me?" Jimmy stepped back, closer to Rita, and slid the toy car into his back pocket. "I didn't tell him anything. Maybe you should try asking him why he would say such things."

Jimmy was still angry. Rita had never seen him this way before. He stayed between the two woman and faced his mother. His tiny shoulders trembled with all the venom contained inside his body. At the sight of him, Frank's arms uncrossed.

Rita knelt down, putting her hands on Jimmy's shaking shoulders. His eyes were on the ground, his tiny mouth turned down. Rita tried to calm him with a smile, but she knew she failed. She didn't know what to say to any of them.

Jimmy caught her eye. He still looked angry though the shaking had stopped. He reached over and hugged her tightly, whispering in her ear, "I love you." She patted him on his back, rubbing between his shoulder blades. The words were stuck, not even in her throat. They were words that weren't fully formed yet in her head. She loved him too as if he were her son and letting him go with Vivian was impossible. There was no way Rita would be able to encourage him to go.

Tears stuck on her lashes. Jimmy pulled back and mumbled to his mother. "I'll go now."

Vivian snatched for his arm, but he moved quickly, twisting his hand away from her. He stepped away first, leading the way out the door and down the stairs. Vivian gave one last glare back at Rita before following after him.

She was drained. Her body shook. Frank didn't speak. He shook his head and shut the door to head back down to the bar.

Next Chapter -->

Rita and Jimmy

2011-06-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just need to know someone cares.

In the Garden
The News
Henri
Underground Room

My notes on Paula's Story

2011-05-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

I didn't expect this story to be so long.

In the primary outlining and original drafting of Paula's story, I just had it be a story about her life adapting. That's all it was going to be. The story was meant to be short, like Michael's and Edith's, and an introduction to the "outside world."

I don't know what happened really. I remember talking about how difficult it was to pin down back in the beginning when I first started. This story kept going. I thought I would find an ending, and I actually wrote an ending several times. I had it ending with Brandon stepping up to take his rightful spot, which meant showing one of the rank fights. And also, all the side characters that we met (Angel, Kyrene, Maria, Mike- who we sort of met) were basically his posse, all leaders themselves.

But that ending didn't feel right. So I tested out continuing the story. And before long Alex wandered in there and asked to see Paula (because in my head they knew each other once- Alex is actually one very old character for me). What the hell do you tell a character who asks to meet another? "Hi, that's crazy. Thanks for making me insane."

Oddly, it worked out. I didn't plan that second part at all. After writing a lot, the plot became clear. And it's still not what I was intending. Mostly there, but with lots of room for improvement.

So, let's talk about clues, shall we?

First up, the most recent ones that I can remember.

Most everyone got distracted by Alex in this shot. I didn't want it to be too obvious, but I did want it to be there as an easter egg. Which was probably rather unfair of me since I didn't have many hidden easter egs this time around.

The other issue could also be that the picture was just too dark. On one computer monitor, I can't see them but one the two others I tried, I could see them. Jimmy and Kyrene are hanging out in the back, behind Paula and Alex.

There were other clues in that second part since they took off. First off, the distance covered. Alex had them nearly out of the city in a day while carrying her. That must have made me seem crazy. But I don't imagine Alex carried her. Kyrene probably did with her power.

All of Alex's suspicious behavior on the trip-- he knew Jimmy was right behind them. That's why he insisted that they leave the way they went in at the Labs and how he knew for sure that the Stranger wouldn't be getting back up again. Maybe that was a little dig even at Jimmy since Alex was already doing his dirty work dragging Paula off. He wasn't about to kill a man in front of her too so he left that for Jimmy and Kyrene.

Henri's power. He has a Fridge attached to a battery and electric lamps with no cords. Hints of his power. Paula has a memory of a man being electrified on the morning Henri gets up and makes bacon. Her mother also doesn't like bacon or cooked meats very much. As in-- at all. Maybe I'll get to that story someday as soon as I figure it out.

Jimmy's super side story and the tipping point. Jimmy is generally a quiet man, so he surprised me by speaking not once, but twice, to get his own posts. And in those posts, I found him watching Paula. Not just how Alex behaved around her, but he was watching her each time he encountered her in the second part. Possibly trying to decide if he could go through with it?

The tipping point happened to be the most confusing part. When he finds her in the old apartment. It is his old apartment, and her walking through it, violating his past that way is what causes the next part, where Alex appears at her door and puts her to sleep. Kudos to the people who got that intention from the muddled mess I made of it.

Jimmy has his own story somewhere in my head. He's a hard character to get to speak sometimes.

The Ending:

The ending kept shifting the closer I got to it. Every time I thought I nailed a piece down, the ending shifted.

At one point, the ending was going to be that Cheryl didn't make it. This was the original ending. I kept seeing Henri, Brandon, and Jimmy coming to tell Paula. The act of the three of them doing anything together would have been a sign. The truth is the three of them are always working together, but rarely seen in the same room working together. (Unless you count meal times where Brandon and Jimmy are passively working against Henri.)

I even wrote this scene out. Partially. It's in one of my notebooks. I don't think I ever typed it out. It seemed like the way to go. You know, you get a thought in your head and you think, "Well it can't end the other way, or that'll be too happy." So I was determined not to let Cheryl live.

But then one afternoon as I sat writing, Paula said, "This isn't supposed to happen. This isn't the way a story like mine is supposed to end." And I could feel the joy and grief behind the words. The strangest thing was seeing it taking place by Pat's house and with Jimmy in the background.

So Cheryl got spared, and I have yet to find out what she'll do in Wildlands. (Though can you imagine what she'll say if she ever meets Alex? I can already hear her in my head. "You let go of that?")

That ends Paula's story. No more crazy long stories I hope. I'd prefer to do them short and sweet! I'm intent on taking a month off, and then the first story I want to do will be a Rita story. That's the plan at least. See you here in a month! (Otherwise, I have a lot of reading to catch up on. So I'll be seeing you all at your blogs. *goes stalking*)

Edit to add: Oh, I did forget one thing, and while going through my files, I stumbled over it again.

Laura noticed this on Stephan's profile. Someone has a little crush. And just to add fuel to the Jimmy and Paula rumor:

The full picture.

Just a chance animation (as pretty much all the animations were in this shot except Jimmy and Paula's hug), but funny because it's something I somewhat see in my own head. I think Stephan might be a tiny bit jealous/worried.

Coming clean: An announcement

2011-05-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

I have been editing this since January. Yes. That long. At the end of last year, something occurred to me that sort of set a whole bunch of others things in motion and ended with one thought. I want to write a book.

I've pretty much written it already, and it's already gone through some beta testing. At least the online version. Paula's story has been one I've been working on since high school. I took a break from it, a very long one, while I lived a little bit, read a lot, fell in love, and made new friends.

When I stumbled on the binders with these stories in them a couple of years ago, it surprised me. I hadn't ever really intended on coming back to this story, honestly. I thought it was all crap. But then reading through it, despite the cringe-worthiness, I got an urge to really write again.

You see, this is the only story I've ever really wanted to tell, and so I'd like to do it properly. What you've seen so far has been just a small sample, and that's been chopped to bits to fit in bite sized updates that hopefully read quick but have a lot of impact. But there's more to these stories. A lot more that I can do. Paula's story felt like a race to the finish, and I don't think I did it any real justice.

So-- my announcement. I'm coming clean. I want to self publish my own stories.

The plan is to make a series of books. So far, I have at least two in mind and one possible novella. The first will be an e-book version with maybe even a print version further down the road if I feel it's worth it.

What will happen to this blog? Nothing. This blog will carry on as it has. It won't necessarily be my focus anymore, so maybe I won't do weekly updates? (Though I dunno, I sort of really like weekly updates.)

I plan on taking a break for a bit and working on more stories to post up. I'd like to continue, carrying on and sharing short side stories that have no immediate place. Paula's story will remain up because I'm going to be my own publisher, and I can do what I want.

This blog has become something very important to me. It's something I cherish greatly for all the lessons learned and friendships made. Nothing makes me feel better than the lurkers who come and sit on the blog for an hour, sometimes more. It doesn't always happen, and they don't always leave comments. Sometimes they don't even come back, but any minute of anyone's online time spent here still surprises me.

What will I be asking from all of you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm going off-roading here, in a move anyone else would think is incredibly insane. And maybe it is, but it's my move to make.

My intent with the e-book is to produce a coupon that will make it free for those who read this blog. And you won't have to take any crazy oaths or writs in blood. When it's released, I'll let you know and the coupons will be free to share with whoever you like. It will take a long time for word to get out, and as I stink at self promotion, word of mouth will be key.

So consider this the official announcement. I plan to have the e-book version released by Spring of 2012. I now have 54,000 words on it which is much more than the word count for the online story.

Anon comments are always on, so if I'm crazy and some anon wants to tell me so, feel free to blast the idea, ask questions, whatever. I need to be able to stand up to criticism if I'm going to release something into the "real" world.

Honestly I've been thinking this through for months now. I've been doing research, and I feel this is the right move for this project and possibly other strange ones that I have sitting in my head. Hopefully people will be entertained.

My new-ish Writing Blog (With a post all about what I've learned from this blog.)

My writing Twitter

Bonus: The first three chapters of the novel version on Mediafire.

Paula's Story Epilogue

2011-04-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

"We're going to go see Pat first, aren't we?"

Brandon is a step ahead of Stephan and me, walking brusquely through the grass with fists at his side. He looks back at me, his clear blue eyes catching the light. There is something different about him. Maybe it's just that I haven't seen him in a couple of months. "Yes. I need to ask her something."

He continues on ahead of us, and I catch Stephan's eye. He pats at his pocket with a wide grin. "I knew we would. I brought some coins to get us a bottle or two to take back."

"A bottle or two? Won't we already have our hands full with the other stuff we came here to get?"

Stephan waves his hand. "There's always room for Pat's booze. I'll leave behind some things if I have to. Anyone else would understand."

I shake my head, but I still laugh. Over the past couple of months working with Stephan here and at the other villages he helps, I've learned that he's rather typically irrelevant but in a good way. He tries to let loose frequently, but he lacks the focus to follow through. Like the night he said he was determined to get me drunk. That didn't work out at all. We both ended up falling asleep against each other on the floor.

Brandon doesn't even waste time going into the bar. He walks around back to the garden and I wonder if he's already caught some of her thoughts and knew she was there. Stephan and I stay back at the fence as Brandon slips through and walks to the other side of the garden where Pat kneels on the ground caring for the fruit plants she uses to make her famous booze.

Stephan and I glance at each other, trying not to watch, but unable to turn away really. I look at my hands, oil and grime from the machines we have to constantly fix and upgrade worked in so deep that no amount of water or soap removes it. And I see Pat stand up to face Brandon, her eyes only on him. I assume he's talking, but I can't hear him, not with the leaves of the nearby plants rustling in the wind.

Quietly, I ask Stephan, "What do you think he needs to ask her?"

He gives a slight shrug with his shoulders. "To come home I'd guess."

That surprises me. "Why hasn't he just asked her before?"

"What makes you think he hasn't?" Stephan grins at me again.

Brandon and Pat still stand apart, her with her arms crossed and her shovel held onto tightly as she looks away from him. If I've noticed the changes, I'm sure she's noticed them too, and probably even more than me. Brandon has changed. He's finally accepting his place as the next leader, and maybe this is just one more step he needs to do.

It makes me think of Alex inexplicably. Brandon said he had word that Alex and Odessa made it home. Supposedly for his bravery helping to dispatch Killer, feared and loathed across the Lost Territory, Alex has earned extra respect. Which he may be too guilty or humble to accept.

I shove strands of hair out of my face, just as I hear a whistle. At first it passes through my ears as I watch Brandon and Pat, but Stephan gives me a gentle shove and points towards the front of the bar, the direction we came from.

Two people walk through the tall grass. The bright sun shines in my eyes and I can only glimpse their silhouettes at first, one man and a woman. I recognize the man though. With his smooth movements, even the whistle somehow, though I don't know when he's ever whistled near me. It's Jimmy walking up with a woman who stands up to his shoulder and is hardly thicker than his arm. Her hair is short, spiky, and dark. She freezes next to him, and I see him raise a hand to her shoulder as she lifts two hands to her mouth.

My own eyes start to sting and I nearly bite the inside of my lip so hard that I swear I taste some blood.

Stephan still stands behind me. "Are you okay?"

But the words don't register. My eyes stay on the frail form standing next to sturdy Jimmy. The only thing I can think is that it can't possibly be. I want to run, but if it isn't her, if it's just some woman with Jimmy, who never ever walks around with a woman on his arm, but if this one time it is some woman with him for once on his arm, my heart will break all over again. I'll never recover. It would be too cruel. Could Jimmy be that cruel?

"Paula, what is it?" Stephan reaches a hand forward and grips my shoulder, his fingers surprisingly strong. His voice carries enough that I see Brandon turn. Pat looks in my direction.

I shake my head and blink. "I think-- it's my mom."

"What? You mean-- your mom?" His voice lowers, and for a moment there's only the breeze between the two of us and then his hand's on my shoulder shoving me forward. "Well, go on."

My feet are heavy. I can't move forward, not until she starts towards me and then I'm sure it's her. Those skinny arms and legs, that short spiky hair, it doesn't look like her, but it is her. We meet in the grass at the side of the bar in front of the windows covered with the heavy curtains. She holds me close, her smile and tears in my hair. There isn't much to hold onto with her. My own tears fall onto her bony shoulders.

This isn't supposed to happen. This isn't the way a story like mine is supposed to end.

She pulls back and I can't think. We're still close, hands on each other as if the other might disappear. I want to know how, but I can't ask. Jimmy stands off to the side rubbing the back of his neck. Behind me, I hear foot steps on the grass. Brandon and Pat, with Stephan behind, have all stepped forward and are watching with large eyes. It's Brandon who asks, his eyes falling on Jimmy.

"How?"

"Aaron." Jimmy looks at me again. "I asked him to. I figured I owed you."

I don't know what to say. Mom pulls me close again and I close my eyes and I remember. That night at Henri's when Aaron showed up. I was in my room while they talked, and Mom's name came up. Did Jimmy know that Henri had already asked Aaron to do the same for him? Did Mom even know?

Mom shoves at her tears as she smiles at Brandon. "You must be Brandon."

That's all she says before he smiles and steps over to her to give her a hug, folding her into my new life.

**********************************

Okay, done for real for now.

More on Stephan. Also, inspired by Van's Profiles of Naroni Characters, I've done two more 10 facts. One for Pat and one for Brandon. Mostly in preparation for what I'm sure will be one of the next stories told.

But first, a break. I don't know what I'm going to do without having an update to prepare every week. D: I don't even play the game. What'll be my excuse for disappearing every Thursday and Friday now?

Well we're through with the story, but next week, I'll post up the notes, my intentions, and the things I didn't intend. As well as my finally official announcement.

Chapter 44 End

2011-04-21T13:25:00.000-07:00

"Alex?"

Alex stands in the hall with a hand on the back of his neck. When he sees me, I can see the guilt shade his normally bright face. We haven't had a chance to talk the entire trip. He was so busy tending to his daughter, holding her close and comforting her. I couldn't get in between that. She hardly spoke a word, but whispered in his ear. The only time I heard her voice was the time she laughed when I tripped over a root which made me laugh. The one bright spot in a dismal journey.

But now Alex looks tired. He closes his eyes and looks away from me. "I am sorry."

I step over to him and stand in front of him. He could easily look over my head, but he doesn't. "You did what you had to. Besides, Jimmy's made it clear that it was his idea anyway. He told Henri and Brandon."

Alex nods, still looking as if he were about to sit down on the ground. "Still."

I'm not quite sure what to do. He does look over my head then, and it hurts that he can't even look at me. But I don't really know what to say or to do. "So what now?"

"We will go home."

Brandon had warned me that Alex would end up leaving after this. That he was probably only in the Southlands because he was acting as a spy for Killer and needing help, not for training and relations building as he had originally said. "He has a life he'll probably have to get back to. I just thought you should know."

But even though I know, it does hurt a little. "I'll probably never see you again."

That does make him look down at me in surprise as if he hadn't expected that I would miss him. But how could I not after everything? Even if this adventure was not one of our high points.

He smiles, his lips tight, the bags under his green eyes looking even larger. "You might."

"I know, 'you never know,' right?" In the time it takes for me to roll my eyes, Alex has stepped forward and is hugging me tightly.

My face burried in his chest, I turn my head so that I can take a breath just as my arms reach up and hold onto him back. I close my eyes, and we stay that way locked together for a few blissful minutes. And then there's the sound of a soft throat clearing and cough down the hall. I open my eyes and it's Jimmy walking past without stopping to gawk. He goes to his room and shuts the door quietly, a soft reminder of the rest of the world.

We break apart, and I turn to head towards my room, but Alex gently stops me and plants one last kiss on the top of my head and a soft apology whispered into my hair. I can't speak to ask him to take it back or to absolve him. I just nod and we part. He slips back into his room with his daughter, and I go back to my room that I'm sharing with Kyrene.

I lie down on the bed and shut my eyes. My brain is still buzzing, thoughts whirling quickly like a tornado. But it's over. I'm almost back where I started from though I'd like to think I'm a little bit wiser and possibly with a somewhat newer understanding of the people around me who were such mysteries before.

"Mary was... a friend. She was probably your age when we met her. Also human. But, ah, she didn't make it."

"Killer?"

Brandon nodded, the muscles in his face pinching tightly at some memory. "She was important to both of us."

Epilogue -->

Chapter 43 Return

2011-04-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

"There they are. Alex, stay back."

Alex glances at Jimmy with a furrowed brow. Kyrene smoothly glides between Jimmy and Alex, gently tugging him and his daughter, Odessa, away. His eyes land on me for a moment before they glance past me, and then he goes with Kyrene, away from us.

I hesitate and turn to look in the direction Alex's eyes last faced and there I see them, both walking towards us, huge shadows coming from the village. Both of them broad shouldered with shadows covering their faces.

Jimmy grabs my arm and pulls me with him towards them. "You're okay, right?"

I glance from his arm up to his face as I follow along.

Jimmy gives me a soft shake. "You're fine, right? And you went willingly."

He emphasizes the last part, and it clicks. That's probably why Alex asked me even if he might have known that Jimmy wouldn't let him take me back. Technically, I did go willingly, and that's the thought I hold onto. My agreeing to go and help Alex save his daughter.

I nod. "I'm fine."

"Tell them that."

My short legs struggle to keep up with Jimmy's long ones. Kyrene and Alex are far enough behind us that I can't see them. It's just the four of us. Brandon pads over to me and wraps his arms around me just as Jimmy releases me and faces Henri. The tiny glimpse of Henri I catch before being enveloped in Brandon's hug doesn't look happy.

Brandon pulls back leaving his hands on my shoulders, "Are you okay, kid?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jimmy stands in front of Henri quietly speaking so that even a few feet from them, I can't hear them. Henri stands in front of him with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed, the lines around his eyes deepened. The air is almost charged with the anger that nearly burns off him, but Jimmy faces him without cowering in the slightest.

Another faint tickle of memory-- is it really memory?-- plays in the forefront of my mind refusing to fully reveal itself to me. But the delicate memory is shoved away when Brandon blocks my view of them by stepping in front of me.

"Really?"

I nod, though I can feel my eyes stinging. "He got Killer."

That makes Brandon pause. His dark brows mimic Henri's making him look very much like him for a second but for his blue eyes shining in concern in a way Henri's would never.

There's a movement on the dirt path near the village, and I glance up surprised to see the young man, Stephan, that we met while on our way into the village. Our eyes meet and he returns my look with a smile of overfilled relief. He walks over to me right away, past Henri and Jimmy like they're just regular people.

"You're okay."

I glance from Stephan to Brandon, surprised that he hasn't said anything about the stranger. Brandon doesn't even look bothered. He looks from me to Stephan before he introduces us.

"I know you've met already. Stephan is Kyrene's little brother." Brandon nods towards Kyrene who still stands a way off with Alex. "He sent the message to me and Henri that you were here."

Stephan shrugs. "Kyrene told me to. It wasn't a big deal. She said they would be looking for you. Why is she standing all the way over there?"

Brandon and I lock eyes before I finally find my own voice. "Jimmy was sure Henri or Brandon might kill Alex."

Stephan looks from Brandon to me with a curt little nod and a lopsided smile as if he could completely understand. "Right. Well, the inn has room for all of you tonight. Hard to say no to the leader of the Southlands, but still. No bloodshed please. My reputation is on the line here."

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 42 Escape

2011-04-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

The telepath hides in the corner of the room, hunkering down behind some barrels with her eyes on Jimmy.

Jimmy doesn't move at first. He stands staring at the body for another moment before he looks up and at me. "C'mon. We still need to get out of here." If he sees the telepath, he doesn't say anything. He doesn't even look at her. Without Killer, she's harmless. It's hard to imagine that she'd have anything left to fight for without him.

Kyrene stands in front of the door and glances back at us. "They're calming down. Still, there's a big group out there. We don't know what's been done to their heads."

There's a knock at the door that makes me jump. Even Kyrene gives a small flinch. But Jimmy stands still, staring at the door as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"It's me! 'Nameless,'" the voice says with a chuckle. "I'll get you out."

Kyrene turns back to Jimmy with sharp eyes, and Jimmy nods. "It's him," he says. She opens the door and lets in the man offering help.

The sight of him is familiar though I cant place him or his name and if feels like I should know his name. But Jimmy trusts him. And Alex seems to as well. He scoops his daughter up into his arms and stands next to us ready to head out. Kyrene takes the rear and we walk back outside, past the crowds, without even an eye falling on us.

Once we're in the tunnels leading to the surface, the man with no name thanks Jimmy and Alex both. "Killer was like a parasite. Once he latches on, there is no easy removal."

The night air is cold even though I'm close to the fire. My body won't stop shaking and I'm not sure if it's the temperature or just because of what I've seen. This was different from that other time when I was standing on the balcony and watching the violence from three stories up. Back then I was still more Neutral than whatever I am now. I'm not a Wildlander, but maybe I'm adapting. To a point.

Alex sleeps nearby, his arm over his daughter. Kyrene also sleeps nearby the fire across from me. All of them have perfected sleeping quickly in odd places. My body still aches and I can't stop the shuddering.

Jimmy stands up on the edge of the darkness and the light. He leans against a tree with his arms crossed and his back to us. He's the first one to keep watch. Kyrene had tried to talk him out of it, but he'd refused. There hadn't been much discussion about it. Kyrene only nodded to him and gave a shrug to us because she did try. No one had bothered him after that.

He glances back at us before he takes a step into the woods. I'm sure he doesn't notice that I'm awake, but with him it's hard to tell what he notices with one of his looks. I stand up, my muscles burning and aching as I stretch them, and follow him over to that dark patch of woods away from the others. I don't know what I'm hoping to accomplish, and I feel foolish for doing it, but I softly call out to him.

"Jimmy?" Some part of me knows it's stupid, but it has to be done.

He's not far away when he pauses, lifting a hand to the bark of a tree next to him, but he doesn't look back at me. I wasn't honestly expecting that he'd stop, so it surprises me and the first thing that comes to my mind feels like it was ages ago, even though it was really only days.

"I'm sorry about the apartment." I stumble over the words and pause to get my breath not sure that he even knows what I'm talking about. Maybe I'm wrong, but he seemed so upset about my being in that apartment that it had to mean something to him.

"I just wanted to be alone and..." My voice trails off as the words disappear. I've never been one to have trouble finding words, but Jimmy doesn't make it easy.

He turns around and I can feel his eyes on me more than I can see them in the dark. He clears his throat and speaks quietly as if uncomfortable. "Paula, I need to pee. Would you just wait over there or turn or something?"

I bring my hand up to my mouth to stifle a nervous laugh and turn around, taking a few steps away from him. Jimmy seems like the last person to be concerned about doing his business in front of someone like me.

After a moment, the leaves behind me rustle and I turn to watch Jimmy step through into the half light of the campfire. At first we don't say anything. I don't move, and he stands near me though not exactly next to me without looking at me.

"You do realize," he says with a pause before glancing at me, "this was all my fault."

His mouth is in a straight line. I'm still not quite sure what happened yet. We haven't spoken about it at all. Maybe that's part of why I am standing here now in front of him in the dark when I should be sleeping.

I look down at the ground, a pebble under my toes bothering me. "Alex never said anything."

"He probably blames himself too."

"He gave me a chance to go back."

"You think I would've let him?"

The quiet between us prickles at me and I run a hand up my arm. "Who's Mary?"

Jimmy glances at me sharply then. He shakes his head. "Ask Brandon if he wants to share. When he's done being pissed at me."

There is something else there, and I'm not sure what. Between the two brothers, Jimmy is the one with the rank and power. He's the future leader and all. But I can still sense something other than a brotherly concern. "You say that like it matters if he gets pissed at you."

That makes the hint of a smile appear on his lips. "Oh yeah. 'Course it does. I'm just thinking about my future."

Perhaps it's just the air, but I find my hand rubbing at the back of my neck, massaging down the hairs. "What do you mean?"

"He's the next leader. Not me."

My mouth drops open slightly at that. I have to fight my mouth closed and work to swallow. But it makes sense hearing it from Jimmy. Brandon cares about people. He understands them better. He can't read minds on purpose, but still, catching thoughts gives him an advantage over whatever Jimmy does. Jimmy's mind is completely isolated, while Brandon's is a part of any group he's with. Who else would be better for the job than Brandon?

"If he hasn't decided to step up after this, I don't know what else I can do."

Next Chapter -->

***********************

I feel like I should keep quiet, but I will link to the entries from right after Paula got to Henri's. The first breakfast where Jimmy talks to Brandon about accepting his rank. And after breakfast where Brandon talks to Paula honestly about his rank.

Also, I have to say here that Qui totally called this way back in chapter 4. (See end comments. =o again!) I didn't even know then that Brandon was the one to actually be the leader. That chapter wasn't meant to be a hint, it was just a character and world building chapter.

Chapter 41 Showdown

2011-04-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Without even a backwards glance at the rest of us, Jimmy leaps at the other man called Killer. Their bodies connect with a sickening thud.

The telepath hops back into the corner of the room with her eyes on the vicious fight in front of her. Her fingers slide up to her mouth as her eyes go wide and from my position not too far away I can almost hear her knees knocking together. This fight makes Alex's fight in the city look amateur.

Jimmy moves too fast for my eyes to really track. He's not much more than a blur. Killer tries to grab hold of him a few times, but Jimmy won't stay still long enough to be held. Each time Killer gets him, Jimmy slips out of his grip and delivers another blow. This is Jimmy cutting loose, really loose. This is probably him using his power, whatever it is, fighting with everything he's got. Jimmy manages to pull out a knife from somewhere on his person that's so smooth it looks as if it just appears in his hands. But his knife never cuts Killer's skin though Jimmy gives him no room to maneuver and keeps driving him around the room.

Beside me there's a soft grunt. I turn and Kyrene is struggling to keep the door closed. She holds it shut using her power, the exertion making beads of sweat appear on her brow.

"Kyrene?" My voice echos in the room, shaking with each reverberation back to me.

"The people-- the telepath is calling them. Alex, help."

But Alex has his hands full. I hear him speaking in a low voice to her with words I hardly understand. "Odessa," he says to her as he pats her and tries to pry her from his neck, but she won't let go. She cries when he tries to pull her off. Each loud whump from the fight and each grunt make her tighten her hold on Alex's neck until she's hanging off his neck and trying to climb up him into his arms.

There is a silence from the corner of the room where the telepath stands just past the fight. The woman with the clear eyes is watching Jimmy and the man closely with wide eyes though she stands at full height. She can't even be my age. She's so tiny, and with her short hair cut it makes her look no older than 13 or 14, but she's dangerous. Her age doesn't prevent her from calling all the people in the underground city on us. Her age doesn't matter.

Jimmy manages to swipe his knife along Killer's chest in a wide arc. The telepath winces. But no blood drips from Killer's chest, and I wonder if Jimmy actually missed. The fight isn't going well. These two could easily be at it forever.

I bite my lip hard. The bag we traveled with is still in my hands, not incredibly heavy, but enough. There is no thought to it when I toss the bag at her to distract her. She looks up at me, surprised, just as I'd hoped, and turned away from the fight and the door. I hope it's enough of a distraction, but something tells me that it isn't.

I've never attacked anyone before, and I'm sure that I won't be able to hit her hard enough to actually knock her out. Her mouth opens in a gasp as she raises a hand to defend herself. I throw my fists out hitting her in the arms and shoulders, each thump of my fist against her flesh making me sick. I'm not hurting her, I know I'm not, but she's at least too distracted to cause trouble. Unless she causes some trouble for me.

My arms get tired, but I still keep hitting her across the arms, driving her back towards the wall. I have no idea how much time passes, but I stop. We all stop as a quiet seems to fall across the entire room.

Near the center of the room, Jimmy has him. Some lucky shot must have sent Killer to the ground, and now he's completely at Jimmy's mercy. With the large knife that the man had been using, Jimmy slices him from hip to hip, sinking the large knife in deep enough that the blade disappears into the soft flesh of his belly.

I gasp, my hand rising to my mouth. Past them, Kyrene does the same, lifting her hand to her mouth though she doesn't make a sound, and Alex grabs his daughter. The girl next to me gasps and hides behind one of the columns, seeming less of a danger now.

Killer doesn't move. Jimmy stands over him. He spits on him. "That's for Mary."

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 40 Reunion

2011-03-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

"She's safe." The man says as we walk through a stone tunnel leading to more stairs. He speaks in a quiet voice, just to Alex and me as if he fears anyone else overhearing us though we're the only ones in the tunnel. "I made sure of that."

"Thank you," Alex says. His fingers over my hand relax ever so slightly and I wiggle my fingers with the new freedom.

"What's your name?" I ask the man as we walk in further.

He glances at me and actually smiles. "Ah, it's okay. You won't remember it anyway. Trust me."

I shake my head, unsure of what he means. I'm not usually bad with names, but perhaps he just knows something I don't.

At some point, we reach the floor where others are living and the man with no name leads us through crowds of people. I take in the sight with wide eyes. These people live underground much the same way the Southlanders were living above ground. It's almost like an underground city.

I glance up at Alex remembering how he mentioned living underground. "Is this where you lived?"

Alex shakes his head and pulls me close again as we make our way past the people, many of who have their eyes on us.

After walking through a few more tunnels, we face a door that makes both No Name and Alex clearly nervous. No Name turns to us and says, "I know where she is. I'll bring her back."

But before he can walk off, Alex stops him. "Ask someone else to do it. The front will need you."

The man looks at Alex for a moment before he nods and then heads off leaving us in front of the door.

Alex looks down at me with a hardened gaze, concern clear on his face. His fingers grip my hand tightly and I don't protest. He opens the door and we walk in.

The room is larger than the ones we have walked through previously. At the front sits a man who stands when he sees us, his eyes landing first on Alex and then on me. Behind him stands a girl close to my age. I can only assume that she's the telepath Alex warned me about as we walked through the forest. The girl has short hair and clear eyes that catch the warm light from the torch on the wall and still somehow manage to remain cold. Immediately something about her is familiar, but I force myself to focus and ignore that tingle of memory on the back of my mind.

"This is what you bring me?" The man looks exasperated. His voice is deep and in the small room it fill up the space too easily.

Alex's hand on mine is starting to hurt, but it gives me something to focus on. "She is Brandon's weakness. His pet."

The man's eyes narrow. I don't move away from Alex. There's a sense of familiarity to this man that I can't place. The memory is like a tingle in the back of my skull, and I try to duck behind Alex as both sets of eyes from the man and the woman turn on me. A shudder works its way from the base of my skull down my spine. It feels as if there are finger tips fluttering over my mind and the thoughts. I want to pull away, but there is no where to go.

The man looks up at Alex, but the girl keeps her eyes on me. "It's one way to Bennet. But she seems a little too willing."

Alex responds quickly. "I told her of my daughter."

"Is that true?" The man's gaze lingers on me for a moment before the door clicks open behind us.

Alex and I both turn our heads, not wanting to turn away completely from the man in front of us. A little girl walks in with a woman close behind her. Once she sees Alex, she freezes and then runs over to him, right into his arms. She locks her arms around his neck and holds her eyes shut tightly as Alex soothes her.

"You can go now."

At first I think he's talking to the woman who brought in the little girl, and I glance behind me to find that she's already gone. "No..." The realization burbles up and I turn back to Alex who already has his eyes on me, his brow furrowed. Even though I was prepared for something bad, I wasn't really prepared for this, not to be left behind with this man.

But Alex looks past me, his brows relaxing ever so slightly. Behind me the door opens, and in walks the last person I expect.

"Killer."

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 39 Weakness

2011-03-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Alex turning my way often enough that I'm sure he's developed a crick in his neck. It started out subtly at first, but over the course of days of walking through the forest had grown more obvious and more constant.

Do I look that tired? I inhale deeply as I plant a hand on the rough bark of a tree and put some of my weight on it before pushing off again. As hard as I've tried to hide it, I am exhausted and I need to rest longer than just sleeping over night in the middle of the forest. And those nights are probably cut short since Alex wakes me up at the first sign that the sun might be rising. Even in my sleep I'm walking, so it can hardly count as a rest.

"We are close," Alex says with another glance at me.

I look up at him just as he turns away, but I don't ask. Where ever we're going was only a few days walking distance from where we were the whole time. Something about that disturbs me. I'm no tribal tactician, but it doesn't seem right. All that time, and she was so close, yet he never bothered to save her on his own. Why in the world would he need me?

Alex stops me suddenly with one hand to my chest. A wind rustles the trees just as two people come into sight not too far away from us.

The boy looks younger than me but there is something about him that is off. At first I can't put my finger on it, but then his eyes, deep and dark, turn on us and I nearly dive behind Alex. Not cold, but steady. They're eyes far too old for his face, wise and sure. He looks at us the same way Aaron has looked at me, as if he were sizing up us both, and at the sight of Alex, his eyes harden.

Behind him there is a girl, my age, who clutches his hand and actually gives it a tug at the sight of us. Her eyes are huge in her delicate face, and the rest of her hardly looks like more than skin and bones. The clothes she wears are dirty, but not ratty. In fact both of them wear clothes that look newer than average though still a bit dirty.

I don't move. Alex doesn't move. The only one who is moving is the young girl who tugs on the boys hand and whispers, "Don't."

Her pleas alone aren't enough to move him. Alex quietly adds, "We mean no harm."

The boy looks at me and I catch his eyes for an instant before Alex steps between us and repeats himself.

"Michael," the girl says. "Please, let's just go."

There is a strange quiet right after she says it. Alex suddenly relaxes. He turns and wraps his arms around me. I catch a glimpse past him and see no one. The space where they once had stood is now empty and they are no where in sight. They haven't walked off as far as I can tell.

My hair stands up and I give a shiver. "What was that?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know. A bad sense. Someone powerful."

He must mean the boy because that was the one who was creeping me out. Another Experiment? The son of an Experiment? Something about the entire situation was not natural.

We don't stand around long. Alex pulls me forward through the spot they had been standing in and past it without stopping, not even to examine the scene.

It isn't far. The entrance to the place isn't more than a hole in the ground. Alex glances at me before taking my hand and leading me into it. I hesitate for a moment, and he stops, looking back at me and waiting for me to show that I want to continue. In that moment I catch his eyes and I can see something there that I can't place. Is it concern for me or is that the frown of a worried parent frightened for his child?

So I continue, following him down the old stone steps into the dark.

By the dim light of the setting sun, I can see plants growing in this small room as if it were a cave. Ivy grows up the wall out of a thick pile of dirt that covers the floor.

An old metal door is in front of us, and Alex raps on it with his knuckles. I wince as I imagine the pain to the thin skin of his knuckle pressed between metal and bone. Alex doesn't look at me. His jaw is set. He stares at the door, waiting for it to open.

The door is opened by a large man with dark skin and a friendly, if sharp, smile. "Alex. Welcome back." He notices me, and his smile disappears. "This is?"

"Brandon's weakness."

I look up at Alex sharply as his grip on my hand tightens. An eerie feeling creeps up my spine and I don't know whether to completely ignore it or bother with trying to rip my hand away from him.

The man looks back to Alex, probably seeing my indecision all over my face. A seriousness falls over all three of us. No smile. No words.

"C'mon." Is all the man says as he steps aside to let us in and we once again walk into a darkened tunnel lit only by a small oil lamp.

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 38 In the Wildlands

2011-03-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

Sleeping out in the open has been a new experience for me.

Cold morning air chills my skin. I curl into a tight ball. The dying embers of the fire from last night don't do much for warmth. Alex lays with his chest to my back and an arm over my side, warming me and protecting me.

I should still be angry with him, but it is hard to when he’s my only real source of comfort. I can only remind myself that he offered to take me back. At least he said he would. I didn't test it.

Nothing much has happened in the two days we were in the forest. My body aches. Every morning it's difficult for me to get up, but I still try to do it with minimal help from Alex. He offers, but I politely refuse. Not quite angry with him, but not quite okay with him either.

He gently puts a hand on my hip and gives it a squeeze, sensing that I'm awake. It's time to start again. Today we're heading to a village with the intent on sleeping in a proper room with a proper bed.

The building is warm with the smell of a stew simmering in fresh spices. It makes my stomach rumble. As Alex speaks to the man in charge, I look around the room. It reminds me of Pat's place. People sit around at tables, villagers and tribals. Alex says this village is a trading hub. It's larger, well protected, with more resources. People come here to trade their items.

Alex comes back and has a seat next to me. "We can stay."

I nod. That had been a concern with so many people passing through here. I didn't really want to sleep outside again.

We don't speak. I rest my head on my hands and my elbows on the table. I'd always been taught that was bad manners, but I don't really care at the moment. It's either that or put my head down and go to sleep, but my rumbling stomach won't let me.

Alex has his eyes up, watching the room. Only his eyes are too steady, as if he were staring someone down. My muscles tense even though it hurts. I want to ask Alex what it is, but I don't. Our food is served, and Alex lowers his eyes for a moment, probably as able to resist the smell as I am. In that moment, I look up and catch the eyes of the man watching us.

He looks harmless enough, but I've learned better by now. He's dressed in normal clothes, sitting at a table in the corner watching us intently. When he sees me look, he seems to make a decision. He stands and I look back down at my bowl. Alex said there would be no fighting here. It was a safe place no matter what the tribe or the history.

The first bite of the stew is delicious. I can almost forget about the man with those hazel eyes. At least until he takes a seat at our table.

“What is going on here?”

Alex puts his spoon down into his bowl, letting his hand rest on the table. The man turns his unique hazel eyes on me. He looks very young, close to Alex’s age. Nothing from him sends me any sort of warning the way the man from the alley had.

“You’re obviously a Neutral stray, and you,” the man says as the muscles in his face harden making him look very stern, “are obviously a Lost Lander.”

Before Alex says or does anything, I jump in. “We’re friends. It’s okay.”

“You don’t have to lie,” he says to me after we place our order for dinner. “I can help you.”

In a world where it seems anyone wise would mind there own business, it renews my hope, and I can’t help feeling at ease. He hasn’t made any overt threats to Alex, and while I know that doesn’t mean anything, still I can’t help having a feeling that he’s really just a normal guy trying to do the right thing.

I draw my mouth closed to swallow the small lump in my throat. “Really. I'm fine.” I glance over at Alex, but he starts to turn towards me. I look away again before I accidentally look into his eyes. He's been good so far as we've traveled. Still, with this new situation, I don't know what he'll do if he wants us to get away from the man with the hazel eyes.

“This is Alex. I'm Paula.”

The man looks from me to Alex. I cringe when he looks Alex in the eye. “I'm Stephan. You’ll forgive me, I hope, but I've seen too many strays taken. And being Neutral, you’re the easiest picking.”

I blink at him for a moment, my mind completely blank. “How do you know I'm Neutral?”

A corner of his mouth lifts up. “How could I not tell with questions like that?"

It takes a second for me to realize what he's saying. When I do, the words slip out in a whisper. "They throw people out frequently?"

"Yeah. Pretty frequently. I’d guess that someone in your family is a political prisoner-- that’s the most common reason lately.”

I blink back tears. Alex tenses next to me and Stephan's face softens. Both actions happen simultaneously and it almost makes me laugh. I go back to eating to calm my stomach. Stephan sticks with us making small talk with Alex who makes nice and plays this game with him though I can sense a bit of annoyance on Alex's part. I'm not sure why he continues on with it, but I don't say anything about it. I just eat my meal quietly, content to not have to talk until we say our good byes.

Next Chapter -->

**************

Oh man! It's actually up! This one took forever. I had so many issues. But I'm trying to soldier on because I don't have that many to do. About six chapters left right now. Exciting! Still, I will probably be taking next week off (as loath as I am to do that) so that I can be sure to have the next couple of updates ready. I'd like to actually release those on time.

Chapter 37 On the Run

2011-02-24T19:52:00.000-08:00

Alex breezes quickly through the decayed city. Not even the soles of his shoes make a sound though we hurry, running through spots with no cover.

My shoes slam into the crumbling tar surfaces when we run past open spaces, but he never shushes me or makes me run quieter. We push forward, walking quickly for the most part, because after the sprints my breath comes hard.

By midday, we're close to the edge of the city and surrounded by the longest abandoned buildings showing the worst signs of decay. The rays of the sun bounces off of all the city surfaces-- the walls of the buildings, the concrete and tar covering the ground. My body sweats in places where skin meets skin, like my armpits which have probably stained my shirts with dirt and dust from the city sticking to the dampness.

With the sun high overhead, Alex stops us in a small alley between two old buildings close together that offer protective shade. He takes the water canteen out of the bag and hands it to me to drink from first as he looks around, listening like a cat with twitchy ears.

So far, things have been clear. If there are people looking for me, it's possible we've outrun them and are ahead. Alex takes no chances though.

The water, slightly lukewarm, fills my mouth and I swallow it with one big gulp that hurts. It's too tempting to drink more when I know we need to ration it, so I put the lid back on and tear my eyes away from it to resist the temptation. Alex needs some too.

I look up at him but don't call out as he cautiously steps to the edge of the alley. It looks like he's listening for something so I don't make a move or a sound. Alex stops just as another man comes into view.

The other man glares at Alex and crosses his arms. "Aw, fuck. It's you." He's not a tall man. His body is thick with bands of muscle covered in an old dirty tee shirt. Around his neck he wears a thick collar. He doesn't look happy to see Alex. Not until he notices me.

I haven't made a move, but the second he sees me, his face brightens, and the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Instinctively, I take a step back though Alex stands between us.

"I let you live. Let us pass." Alex stands tall, his hands balled at his sides.

The man scowls at that. It's clear that he won't back down.

Alex takes a step towards him and a slightly dazed look crosses the face of the man in front of Alex, but then he shakes it off. "That shit didn't work last time either." He shapes his lips as if to whistle, and before he has a chance, Alex is on him, slamming his fist into his face and knocking him back.

I run to the edge of the alley and stop just short of leaving it as if it will provide some means of protection for me if there is anyone else near by. The man grabs onto Alex with a grunt and tries to pull him down to the ground. Alex fights him, refusing to go down, though I can see him straining against the grip of the larger man.

When I hear the strained chuckle of the stranger, I snap out of it. Alex needs my help somehow. I look around for something I can hold in my hands and use against him. Despite all the abandoned buildings, there are no scraps laying around that I can use for weapons.

I'm half ready to attack him with my bare fists when the stranger laughs again. "Pretty little girl. The others'll like her." His breath is heavy as he struggles with Alex. He sucks in a large breath and expends it calling for the others. "Hey! Where are you, bastards?"

I freeze and listen for the footsteps of others approaching. There is no movement elsewhere on the street except for Alex and the stranger.

Alex suddenly breaks free, twisting his body with a groan and sliding out of the grasp of the larger man. He pulls a knife from somewhere on his body and, using the same momentum that let him free, jumps forward and attacks.

The stranger is off balance and on the defensive, using his forearms to deflect the attacks. Alex moves forward quickly, striking fiercely. A normal person would be torn to shreds, but the stranger doesn't look to have much more than scratches. Alex is aiming to maim, possibly to kill. This is like a more intense version of the fighting I'd seen when he was just playing. This is the real thing. And he can't lose.

Alex aims for the throat, but the large forearms block him. The one time he does get an opening, the knife nicks off the collar and scrapes against the skin under the stranger's chin and up to his ear. That bleeds right away, much more than his forearms. It's probably why he wears the collar. His throat is a weak spot not covered in bands of muscle.

They move too fast. It's difficult for my brain to keep up with the movement. Not until Alex finds a chance to smash his fist into the face of the other guy causing him to trip backwards and fall down. Alex stomps on the man's face hard enough to make the back of his head bounce off the cement.

The stranger stops moving then, and Alex kneels by him, the same way Jimmy did that first week so long ago, with his knife poised over the man's throat ready to cut over the collar. I gasp as I realize what he intends to do.

Alex turns at that. The man on the ground isn't moving, but he still breathes. If Alex doesn't do this, he will probably come after us. I realize this. So I look away. I turn away and walk into the alley to pick up the bag with the food and water in it.

As I toss it over my shoulder, the soft sound of dried grass crunching underfoot make me look up. Alex stands at the end of the alley, a hand on the building.

"I didn't." He says.

"He'll follow us. Won't he?"

I step over to him, checking him over for wounds or bruises. Other than a rumpled shirt with some spots of blood, most likely from his opponent, there isn't much else that I can see.

"He won't."

Alex sounds very sure about it. The body still lays behind him, unmoving. Alex tries to take the bag from me, but I push his hand away and encourage him to lead on. This is our last day in the city. Tonight we'll be sleeping out in the open. In the Wildlands proper.

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 36 The Morning

2011-02-18T19:48:00.000-08:00

Waking up in someone's arms is so different from waking up in a bed warmed by your own body heat.

A bed doesn't hold you. You can pull the covers up close and pretend, but there is a lightness to it that's very unlike waking in solid arms generating their own heat with your head against his shoulder and his heart beating in your ear. Half asleep, I just lay there, unwilling to move and scared to wake him.

Alex's foot moves. He brings one leg up, his hand on my shoulder giving me a small squeeze like permission to move, letting me know he's awake and aware that I'm awake too.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I refuse to give up contact with him in this dark room. My back stays pressed to his chest as I stretch out my legs and my arms into the dark. It's a strange feeling to know that I'm moving my body and not being able to see my limbs out in front of me.

"No." Alex gives a small chuckle, his warm breath seeping between the strands of my hair and to my neck. It's innocent, yet so intimate to share the warmth of our bodies while surrounded by the cold of a dead room. "If he is honest, he will be back soon."

Alex turns on the light in the bag, letting the rays escape only slightly until our eyes are used to it. We have a breakfast of more dried fruit and meat and share the jug of fresh water.

I'm surprised that I managed to sleep through the night. That's probably another difference between sleeping in a strange bed and sleeping in someone's arms. "Alex, how do you know what time it is? That Yosef should be here to open the door soon?"

He takes a drink of water before putting the lid back on and sliding the small jug into the bag again. "It is just the way. Life underground."

"You lived underground?" It doesn't seem to fit with the man I know. This tanned fit man couldn't have come from underground. The types of people I imagine crawling from the ground are all pale and flabby from living in confined spaces. The memory snakes it's way into the forefront of my thoughts and it's a punch to my gut when I realize where I get that image from. Uncle Wiley.

Alex doesn't answer. He shifts, moving me so that he can look into my face. But the danger of his eyes makes me stare at his chin and its light brown stubble. It's a mistake. I close my eyes, but still I feel his lips gently press against mine.

My mind goes blank. I don't want to fight him. I don't want to run from him. This isn't like the kisses I've gotten from boys back home. Those were all just practice kisses, more dares really. Something done among friends to pass the time.

But Alex is a grown man and has been for a while. He's fought and had a child. At some point he must have been in love with someone. Real love where you imagine what your child will be like when they're an adult. Only now he's here with me, asking my help to save his daughter. What happened?

His kisses are small and tender. My eyes are closed, but I can feel him taking his time, kissing my upper lip and then my lower. One hand on my hip holds me close, and I lift my arm that's in the way and put it over his shoulders so that there are no barriers between us except for the darkness of my closed lids.

Eventually the door opens. We are still in each others arms when the light from Yosef's lantern falls on us. Luckily neither of us are in any sort of compromising position. I mean, we're both still dressed and relatively unruffled.

Still, Yosef chuckles. "Time to go, lovebirds."

Yosef has Alex and me go in front again as he starts directing us, but at the very first turn when Yosef tells us to go left, Alex stops.

"This is not the way."

I freeze and turn towards Yosef though I can't see him behind the light. Is it possible he is leading us somewhere else? This entire experience has been much too easy for us, and not what I expected for my first time out in the Wildlands.

"Of course it isn't." Yosef practically growls at Alex. "They're lookin' for you. We spotted a couple not far off from here. You two're clearly trouble."

"So then where are you taking us?" My voice warbles ever so slightly.

"Another way out that leads to one of the other buildings. A little known way away from here."

I glance at Alex again as he turns towards Yosef. "No."

"No?"

"No. We go out the same way." Alex tilts his chin at the right hallway.

I bite my lip. So far Yosef hasn't seemed incredibly agitated. Not like yesterday. I don't even think he has a gun pointed at us. At least, he wasn't waving one around when he came and got us. Just the electric lantern.

"You must be crazy. They are looking for you." Yosef speaks slowly like chiding a difficult child.

But Alex doesn't budge. "If they see us leave, they will be after me, not you."

Yosef is quiet for a moment before he lowers his light, his eyes carefully scanning the two of us. "Do you know something we don't that you're willing to take that burden?"

Alex doesn't say anything more. Yosef mumbles an "all right" and Alex starts down the tunnel he wants to go down that will lead us back to the place we entered.

"So why did you let us in anyway?" My voice disappears down the dark hallway ahead of us.

Yosef grunts. "Figured you'd be handy to talk to. Until we realized you were on a first name basis with one of the most dangerous men of our territory."

I catch Alex's eye and see a knowing glint from him. What did I say? We didn't say very much at all. Except for last night. Last night I said Henri's name. Twice.

"You were listening in on us."

Yosef laughs. "Of course. Trust only goes so far. We did stop when he started keeping you quiet."

My whole face burns. Alex knew. Maybe not right away, but he figured it out. So his move this morning was only because he couldn't tell me they were listening in. Was he surprised at how easy it was to distract me?

Yosef takes us to the door where the kid from last night waits. Though he's surprised to see us, he answers quickly when Yosef asks about seeing any others outside. There are none. Yosef gives another look to Alex with narrowed eyes before he opens the door and lets us out. This time Alex holds the bag as we run to put distance between us and the humans at the lab.

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 35 The Room

2011-02-10T22:58:00.000-08:00

"I'm sorry, Alex."

The small hand sized lamp does little to light the dark room, and I give a shiver. It is cold here and dusty, just like the abandoned apartment had been. But the air here is stuffy and smells of rust. It's been a while since anyone has been in this room.

But my first concern is Alex. He doesn't look at me. I try to keep the small light down remembering the way Yosef had held it up to blind us and hide himself from view, but I also want to see his expression. He stands near by utterly silent, and I'm not sure if he's just gathering his thoughts or ready to blow up at me. Part of me already wants to form my defense. He was the one who agreed. He could have dragged me away or used his power on me. He could have stopped me, and maybe he's regretting that now.

Alex doesn't speak, not even to acknowledge my apology. His eyes scan the room, and he sidles up to me, placing a hand over my hand on the pocket light to shine it around the room.

I don't stop him. I follow the spot light and take in the scene. Cobwebs hang from the ceiling, old machinery lay about with their guts either missing or laying around the ground near by. The room is filled with ghost of chaos covered in darkness and dust.

"What happened here?" My voice is nothing more than a soft whisper. Still dust swirls in the air at my increased breath.

Alex's eyes fall on me. His mouth is in a straight line, his brows lowered. "This is a place we should not be."

He lets my hand go, his eyes still on me intently. Yosef had said this was where it started. He couldn't have seriously meant that. I lift the light and walk further into the room to let the light fall to the other wall, past the machines and the cobwebs. The small beam doesn't hit a wall as I expect but a large pane of glass which diffuses it, scattering it so that the glass looks smoky with darkness trapped behind it.

Alex still stays near the wall and so I stop to look back at him. His arms are crossed and his lips pursed as if he's decided that he won't go any farther in.

"Alex, are you thinking this was actually Henri's room?" In the middle of the dark, large room my voice gets eaten up and almost disappears. The words sound ridiculous coming from me, but Alex clearly doesn't look comfortable here. It's possible that Alex's people have the same dislike of talking about other people's past that Brandon seemed to, so maybe in some way this is too much for him. But for me this is exactly what I wanted, to see it with my own eyes and know what was done to Henri.

When Alex doesn't immediately respond, I look around and find a door near the large pane of glass. It's another thick door reinforced the same as the other one, but it rests open and I step towards it leaving Alex in the shadows. There is something about this door that's a little different from the other one. My scalp tingles when I notice the burn marks on the door. They're more concentrated than a regular fire and seem to center around the locking mechanism.

I want to call Alex over to look with me, but I don't. Instead, I walk into the room, shining the light in, taking careful steps.

No one has touched this room in a while. I'd guess not since the Revolution. The other machines in the previous room look as if they'd been torn apart for scrap, but the machines in this room are left mostly intact. The shiny metal of the various machines and control panels are coated in a thick bit of dust that coats it like a blanket. Just blowing on it wouldn't be enough to move the dust. It's settled and started to become a grime that hides the perfect sheen of the cold metal.

I take a further step in and the light falls on a metal box. There are no marks on the door. It hangs partially open. Whatever was inside escaped a long time ago.

"Alex?" I don't want to turn away from the room. The light remains shining in front of me though the darkness at my back makes me uncomfortable. "What is this? Do you know about this?"

I glance over my shoulder though I can barely see him. He still stands back against the wall, his arms remain crossed. I don't expect him to know. He was never an experiment like this. But maybe he had heard stories. Maybe he would have more of a clue than I did like the way he knew our people were the ones being experimented on when I didn't even know.

"Is this where they kept him?"

Alex looks up then, his green eyes catching a bit of light before I look away.

There is something frightening and dark that hovers in this room. I can feel it though I'm not sure what it is or how. I look for clues, but there is nothing. No papers or books, no real hints at what happened. I'm only left here to guess, to imagine that Henri was once kept in that little metal box when he wasn't much older than me while people stood watching him from behind the safety of this large thick glass.

I'm suddenly very exhausted. As I step over to him, Alex slides down the wall to sit on the ground and I crawl into his arms without bothering to ask. My voice shakes and I don't bother to hide it. "Well, I guess we know why Henri's so grumpy, huh?"

I bury my face in Alex's shoulder and relinquish the small light when he takes it from me and turns it off with a click. The darkness presses down, forcing me to burrow closer to Alex.

The experiments have stopped as far as anyone knows, but there still is no rest for anyone involved. I press my face into my hands against Alex's shoulder. They fought for freedom, to escape these metal boxes and the prying eyes, but now they still fight each other and the regular humans. Anyone who is able bodied and can think is suspect.

Alex wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, his breath warming the top of my head, and, safe together at least for the night, I can rest.

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 34 The Walk

2011-01-28T22:27:00.001-08:00

The older man introduces himself as Yosef whole we wait for a replacement for him. “You’re in luck. We don’t usually stand outside, and we rarely let anyone get close enough to talk to us.”

He looks up at me through his brows like one my teachers used to when homework wasn't done on time. I know we've gotten lucky. It could have been very ugly for all of us. I glance at Alex and feel guilty for endangering his mission. Of the two of us, he's the one with the more noble cause. I'm just here to traipse around Henri's very private past.

When the replacement comes, Yosef has Alex walk in first and me in second. He grabs an electric lantern like the ones that Henri had in his apartment and then walks behind us. With the bright light aimed forward, it partially blinds us and shields him. In one hand, he holds a small gun having given the larger gun to his replacement.

We walk down the hall that way, Alex and I faced with dark in front of us. The hall has some dirt tracked in from outside but other than that it looks clean and well used. We reach a point where the hall splits, and Yosef directs us to take the first turn.

We walk together quietly for a while with the only sounds coming from our shoes against the hard concrete floors. "Neither of you are from around here," Yosef says from behind me.

It seems an odd time for chit chat, but I don't fight it. Still, I don't feel comfortable enough to give him more information than he really needs. "Not exactly."

Yosef grunts. "You're Neutral."

It seems strange at first that he knows that, but I realize that I probably stick out around here with my clothes and my glasses and even the way I talk. A lot of the people who worked in this lab were Neutrals themselves and, with Yosef's age, it's very possible he could have been Neutral himself once.

I see Alex ever so slightly turn towards me before forcing himself to look forward.

"Yes, I was."

"Turn right up here," Yosef says gruffly. "Banished then. It happens. How did you get this far? They don't usually."

I don't know what to tell him. Somehow it doesn't seem wise to say that I got a personal escort from Henri and his second in command, but I don't know what else to say.

Alex quietly speaks up. "She is mine."

My stomach pulls up against my lungs a that. I'm thankful for his stepping in, but I'm not sure what to think or how I feel about being claimed like that.

Yosef actually laughs. "Right. I get that sense, though something seems different about you two. That's the only way you got in. Will you at least tell me why you're down here in the Hornet's Nest? Not the wisest place to take a vacation."

I look over at Alex and don't bother turning towards Yosef. I won't see anything other than a flashlight in my face anyway. The Hornet's Nest sounds like something between a joke and complete seriousness and it doesn't sound pleasant. "The what?"

Alex does glance at me with a face that's difficult to read. "It is the name of the Southlands. Outside."

Yosef laughs again. "You didn't know that? When I heard it, I about died laughing. It's true. Rile them up and watch out. No one wants to mess with them. Not even when they're out. Mess with one and you get a swarm." He directs us again down a few more halls and through a couple of mostly bare rooms before he speaks again. "So. It seems unlikely that you traveled here together. You didn't tell her about the Hornet's Nest? I'd imagine you would have if you'd been making your way in. The only people who don't use that name are already inside."

Yosef says it carefully, but it seems that he's already made his conclusion. It would be impossible for me to deny since he is right. I've never heard anyone in the Southlands call themselves that. It's a slightly derogatory name, a joke and a warning. I swallow. We have accidentally managed to give ourselves away.

Alex is tight lipped, but I see him glance at me as if to carefully keep an eye out for me. Yosef grunts again at our non-response. The tension fills the air between us. It seems the sort of thing the two of them are used to because neither of them break. I'm the one who breaks.

"Okay, look, still not going to shoot me right?" I keep walking, but pause enough to try and look back and almost get blinded by the light he holds. We come to another fork in the hall, but Yosef doesn't tell us which way to go so Alex stops and turns slowly towards me. "I'm heading out of the Southlands to help him find his daughter."

Yosef doesn't say anything, but he doesn't shoot us. Uncomfortable silences have only been bumps in the road compared to this. It's still hard to see his face, but he doesn't sound happy. "Go right."

A hand reaches out for me, and Alex gently pushes me ahead of him while keeping one hand on my shoulder.

Yosef grunts again. "You knew this shit and still asked in. Got us involved."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't really know. I doubt they're even looking for me."

Yosef curses softly, the word hardly reaches past Alex to get to my ears. "It don't matter. We're involved now."

We arrive at another room with a dusty door at the end. The room is rather large, but it's clearly not used often. What remains in the room is covered in dust. Bits and pieces of things lay about having been cannibalized probably for trading or repairs. The door at the end is the only thing in perfect shape though still covered in dust. It's thick and metal plated, but the metal hasn't begun to rust.

"I'm sure you understand why I don't take you to the others."

I nod. Alex doesn't have his hand on my shoulder anymore, but he still stands very near in front of me, between me and Yosef.

"You wanted to see the lab." Yoself gestures towards the dark room with the thick metal door. "There you go. The place where the Revolution started."

I glance at the room then up at Alex. He doesn't look happy at all. When it's clear that I'm not bothered enough by this, Alex explains. "He is going to lock us in."

I turn back towards the room. It's dark. Pitch black. And that's where he's going to lock us up. When I turn back to Yosef, he must take some pity on me because he tosses me a small hand-sized object that has a button on top. I press it and get a small stream of light.

"You want me to trust you? Now you'll have to trust me that I'll open the door tomorrow."

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 33 The Humans

2011-01-27T20:21:00.001-08:00

"They're humans too. Like me, right?"

Alex still looks uncomfortable, but he agrees to let me go ahead. There are two standing watch at the one door we found that looks like it isn't rusted shut. One young man and an older man with graying hair and a receding hairline. The older one is the one that makes me worry. He looks tough, and as gruff as Henri looks every time I see him. He holds a large gun in his hands, and I wonder if they're just for show of if they actually manage to produce bullets for them.

I swallow then take a deep breath. We're stuck. There is no where else to go. We need to find a place for the night, and it's pure luck that those people are standing outside. Alex manages to explain that he rarely sees them outside, but he thinks it's when they're waiting for someone to return. The place is that impregnable that they have to wait outside to let their people in.

So I spend a couple of minutes trying to convince myself that this is something I absolutely must do.

Alex doesn't say anything at first, but he crosses his arms and frowns. He's another person who picks up on the unspoken language of people, and I'm sure he can tell that I'm waffling.

He tries to offer me an out, suggesting that he can find us a safe place in one of the other abandoned buildings, but I shake my head. "I have to get in there." I don't bother to explain why I have to get in there even if only for one night.

Alex coaches me through it. He agrees to let me approach ahead of him, but he wants me to go slow and not get too far away from him just in case. I nod and don't bother confessing that I wouldn't want to get too far from him anyway. This bravery thing is completely new and untested.

We both walk towards the people with me in the lead and my hands in the air. The people standing watch see us right away, and their grips on their guns tighten. The younger one's eyes pop open and I can see the whites of them, but the older one, his eyes narrow. He doesn't point his gun at me, but he still holds a finger on the trigger.

"I'm human," I say.

He looks me over then lifts his chin towards Alex. "He's not."

It's true. Even with his shirt on and without his making much movement, they can tell. How? What clue are they picking up? His stance? His hair or his eyes? I try to refocus on the problem at hand and hope that if they're picking up that he's a danger, they're also noticing that I'm not a danger.

"No, he's not, but he won't do anything." Words gather in my head, barely halted by my tongue. Should I even say it? They wait for me to explain, but I can't help looking at the guns they hold and remembering that night when me and Mom were separated so long ago.

"I want to ask you something, but, uh, don't shoot me, okay?"

The older one smiles. "You'd be dead already."

I nod, not completely comforted by his response. "We need a place to stay overnight. And, um," I pause to take a breath and swallow to clear my mouth of any extra saliva. "I sort of want to see the lab. If I can."

The old man looks me up and down. Behind me, Alex doesn't make a sound, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. He could be sneaking up soundlessly from what I'd seen of him as we were walking through the remains of the city.

The older man jerks his gun in Alex's direction but still doesn't point it at us. "What's his thing?"

I glance behind me slowly and catch Alex's eyes. He makes a tiny nod to give me the okay to tell. "Uh, he controls people with his eyes."

"And he's a fighter."

Isn't everyone here a fighter? I wasn't aware that there were special classifications for Wildlanders, but it's true. I've seen what he can do even if it was mostly in play. "Yes."

The old man stares at the two of us with his lips held tightly together. I don't catch what he says at first so he repeats himself again, but louder. "All right. C'mon."

I glance back at Alex, surprised that anyone is going to trust us and half expecting a trap, but he steps forward, smooth and careful, to stand by my side before we step forward together.

The older man eyes us again now that we're up close, but he doesn't seem to change his mind. He gives a small shake of his head. "I'm going to trust you. But you," he says with a glare at Alex, "Any funny shit and I will shoot you."

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 32 The Thing

2011-01-23T12:27:00.001-08:00

"What is that?"

The thing stands out among the rotting buildings. It gleams in the quickly dimming sunlight, and I have to stop. Though I don't know what it is, something tells me it's important. The thing towers over most of the other buildings. It's like nothing I've ever seen before.

Alex stops short behind me. He doesn't answer me right away. It takes a moment before he finds the words, and then he says it with care. "The lab."

I don't look at him, I just stare at it. We've been walking all day. Even lunch was on the go. The sun is ready to set, and we don't have much time before it's dark. I know he wants to find a place to be before then, but I can't help staring. The thought occurs to me before I can voice it, and it takes a second before I can even think of a way to ask while making my question very clear.

There's only one way, and the words come out of my mouth louder than I intend them to. "Is this Henri's lab?"

He doesn't speak, so I look at him and catch his grimace and nod. Alex is a Lost Lander, so I don't know what labs mean to him. I'd always assumed the people being experimented on were the Lost Landers, but Alex was the one who told me the truth. The Experiments were other Neutrals not the Lost Landers, so this place shouldn't hold any meaning for him except for being part of Henri's past and the past of the Wildlands.

It surprises me that this building still stands. This building is a testament to a time when Henri was powerless and at the mercy of others who I can only imagine showed him none. Wouldn't he have wanted it gone? It stands so pristine despite the violence that occurred inside it that I wonder if he even could demolish it. Maybe he tried, but it was impossible to take down. Or maybe, being the sort of man he seems to be, Henri just used the shell of the building for his own purposes, staying there until they had the Southlands properly set up or some other sort of plan prepared.

But thirty years is a long time. Henri probably wasn't much older than I am now. He could have been a completely different person when he was a teenager and after just earning his freedom. A small chill rolls down my back.

I turn back to Alex, "Can we go in?"

Alex frowns and looks away. Maybe it is a bad idea strategically. Or maybe he has some inherent fear of trespassing on this important part of history. But I figure that because of its importance, it would be empty, and a place that people are less likely to expect us. All day we've walked with no signs of the others that Alex was worried about, but that doesn't mean we can be careless.

"There are still people here," he says even as he continues to look off into the distance.

"Inside?" My heart races. I need to get inside. I have to see. But from Alex's tone, I can sense that it's not an idea he likes. "The people you had to fight before?"

I look up at him, but he still refuses to look down at me. "No. Humans who refuse to live in the village."

My mouth is dry. It's clear he is meaning to deter me, but this only piques my interest even more. Other humans are living on their own out here without the protection of the tribe since it's doubtful that Henri would offer to protect these people who refuse to play by his rules and help him out. But at the same time they couldn't live out here without his knowing. His people are an army. No matter how tough these people are, they couldn't really stand up to him if he decided he didn't want them there.

"Alex, do you think they'd let us stay if I asked really really nicely?" I step towards the spot Alex is looking and wave a hand in front of his face to force him to look at me.

He looks down at me, but he doesn't look very happy about it. "They will not let me in."

"I won't go in without you, but..." I turn away and look at the dome again. Something tells me that I won't see this on the way back. I may never have this chance to understand Henri again.

I bite my lip unsure of where that thought comes from, but it lingers. Alex looks uncomfortable as if he's somehow caught onto my thought though I'm relatively sure that isn't one of his powers. Probably. I dig in the bag, pull out his shirt, and hand it over to him.

He takes the shirt though he seems unsure and weary. "They will still know."

I nod though I wasn't really expecting the shirt to fool them. "I'll talk to them. They wouldn't hurt you, right?"

He shrugs. "I don't know."

"Then let me go alone and talk to them." I'm ready to head off and find the way in, but Alex grabs me.

"No. Not alone."

I sigh. He'll probably just follow me and if I find someone to talk to, that isn't going to make them comfortable. Something tells me that the humans who've managed this long will spot him from far away and know he's not normal.

It's getting dark, and we need some place to be, plus I am so curious about the humans that have managed to make it on their own.

"All right. Together then."

Next Chapter -->

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So I never do this, but whoa! Sorry we're late. I actually wrote this on Thursday and wasn't sure I'd post it until Sunday.

Also, over at Valley Sun Sims Forum, I've posted an interview for this week for anyone who might be curious but doesn't go there. And if you don't go there, then you really should! Everyone there is amazing and supportive. It's a great community for sim players and writers. At the very least visit the story forum for other stories of all sorts.

Chapter 31 Choice

2011-01-15T10:05:00.001-08:00

I look out the window of the bare room and look over the abandoned buildings. We’re on the second floor of an old apartment building. The other buildings outside are in varying degrees of ruin. Some are visibly sagging while there are others that seem to stand tall yet show the look of non-use with a dirty face and trees growing on their balconies or up their walls. Most of the buildings look as if they’re completely falling apart.

This is something else I’ve never thought of. A lot of care and upkeep goes into keeping a place running. Once the people are gone, the buildings become nothing more than shells and begin to crumble, just withering away.

We're in what was obviously a bedroom at one time. Flower designs on the wallpaper have faded so that there's only the shadow of the rose print left. There dirt and old faded papers laying around on the floor. Alex sits on the ground near the window taking out some food from the pack he brought with him.

“We must walk,” he says quietly as he hands me some dried fruits and dried meat.

I sit on the ground under the window to eat our meager breakfast. I don’t remember much from yesterday, but I can’t remember any of the areas near Henri's I've been in looking this bad.

“How did we get so far away so fast?” I speak to him without looking at him. “Did you make me walk?”

Alex moves, his chin rising as he looks up at me, but I don’t look up. “I had you sleep. If I had made you walk, you would have remembered.”

“What do you mean? You can’t wipe memories? Tell a person to forget?”

“No. I can only control the body. Your thoughts would still be yours.”

I shudder at the thought of a complete loss of control like that. If Alex were a bad man, there is plenty that he could do. There is still plenty he can do to me. But he hasn’t. It’s a small bit of hope. “I still haven’t agreed to do whatever it is that you need me to do.” My voice is low, but it still shakes a bit.

Alex leans back. “I know.”

“Are you just going to force me then?”

The corners of his mouth turn down as his lips press together. I almost feel like I’m being a selfish brat acting this way when he’s the one who’s lost his daughter and is only trying to get her back. But I was the one who was betrayed by someone I was starting to trust.

“No.” He says it quietly so that I almost miss it.

“So you’ll take me back right now if I ask you to?”

Before I remember not to, my eyes catch his, the conflict apparent on his face. “Yes,” he says as I remember and flinch, sliding my eyes away.

If he is really giving me a choice then he does want me to trust him.

“All right.”

The words feel as if they’re being soaked up by the walls of the bare bedroom. Even as I say them they seem so small a step for me. I can feel Alex’s eyes on me, and I even glance up again without meaning to. Maybe this is why I’m here. Maybe Mom’s done her part, and I have some part to play. Even if it’s not something grand like being a spy and challenging a government, maybe helping out one person and possibly saving the life of another is enough.

Alex is the one who looks down first this time. “Thank you.”

The sun is up but there’s still a chill in the morning air. We get ready to head out. Alex asks me to hold the bag in case he needs to fight, and when I agree he takes off his two shirts and stuffs them in the bag. There’s something much different seeing him shirtless now with a look of determination compared to when I saw him shirtless and sparring with friends. Now it’s a means of defense and a warning to others that strangely reminds me of Jimmy and the couple of times I’d seen him shirtless in much the same way.

“So your tattoos will scare whoever off?”

“It warns them. I am not from here. They do not like the unknown.”

I nod with my eyes probably looking huge. Alex looks up at me, his face softening a bit before I look away again.

“Some of them attacked me once. When I was alone.” He says quietly as if trying to reassure me.

“They attacked you?” The fact that they went after him despite his tattoos and that he was unknown doesn’t reassure me. If anything it only makes me think they must be crazy, and there’s no way to fight that.

“Yes. The one group of them. But only once.”

I catch his eyes and see the decisive look to them. Maybe he can’t outright assure me they won’t do it again because he’d be lying, but there is a confidence to him that doesn’t seem misplaced. I know he’s already betrayed me once, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have if he didn’t have a desperate need.

So I don’t fight it. I walk out with him, down the stairs, and out into the abandoned city that surrounds the Southlands.

Next Chapter -->

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Just thought I'd share this since it definitely made me raise an eyebrow.

Really Henri? I suppose you never are too old to learn new tricks.

Chapter 30 Wake Up

2011-01-06T23:13:00.000-08:00

At first I can't even tell if I've managed to open my eyes.

The darkness suffocates. I'm aware that I lay on my back staring up. The ground under me is hard, and under my finger tips at my side I can feel bumps of the warped wood. One of my finger tips rest perfectly in a groove on the warped wood. I don't want to move, but I try to glance around carefully as my eyes slowly adjust.

There's a window near by that's broken, and I can see the sky through it and feel the slightly chilly air seeping in. A tiny bit of light comes in from the moon. Alex sits near by, completely still. I can't see him clearly from the corner of my eye, but I'm sure it's him.

I listen for the sound of anyone else, but I don't hear anything. It seems it's just Alex and me, and I'm not sure that I want to wake up yet. He used his power on me. After he said he wouldn't. That hurts. It cuts through the fear and I find myself focusing on the red hot truth of it. I don't know where I am, and I'm alone with Alex in some building that isn't Henri's.

The room is mostly bare from what I can see. The walls are covered in paper, and I can see bright spots where the paper has been ripped off to reveal the dirty white wall underneath. But other than that, there's nothing. From my angle on the ground, I can't even get a good look at the buildings around us to see if I might recognize any of them or might even get a clue.

Alex moves slightly. There's the sound of his foot scraping on the warped wood of the floor. "Paula?" He whispers it, but just seeing him move towards me at all is enough. I hop halfway up and scoot away from him right into an old heavy cobweb.

I flinch as it tickles the back of my neck beneath my hair. "Eugh!" I turn around right away and scoot back towards the center of the room, the sound from my throat a gut reaction.

He slips easily behind me, wrapping his arms around me and holding me against his chest. I'm pinned in a tight hug. I push against him with everything I've got, even trying to push back with my legs in a desperate effort to break free. But he's completely unyielding. I want to yell, but there's an oppressive silence that suggests I shouldn't. Not that it would help any.

"Paula," he whispers frantically in my ear, "please."

"No." I break the quiet of our struggle with my normal speaking voice. "Let me go."

He shushes me right away, a hiss in my ear and a stronger grasp on me that almost presses the wind right out of me. "You must be quiet," he hisses. "Sound goes far here."

I stop kicking, out of breath enough that I'm almost dizzy. I lower my voice in an attempt to compromise. "Where?"

"Outside of the Southlands." His grip doesn't loosen. I worry his forearms will leave bruises when he removes them. "Few live here. Some human, some not. They see my skin in the day and leave us alone, but at night I would need to fight."

I don't say a word. I just stop fighting him. His chin presses gently against my shoulder, the short hairs of his stubble scratching my neck. His grip loosens slightly, enough for me to breathe deeply.

"You used your power on me." I say it quietly. The way I'm sitting with my back to him feels as if I'm not really speaking to him even though I am addressing him.

I feel him soften against me, his hold becoming more of a proper embrace. "I am sorry. I need your help."

That surprises me. "Usually it's appropriate to ask for help first."

"There was no time." His voice in my ear sounds remorseful, but still tinged with desperation. "I need you to help me get my first born back."

I suck in a breath. It's not that I'm unaware that he's had sex, but somehow I just never thought that it meant he would already be a father. I sit between his legs, trying to understand it. "You have a kid?"

Even softer and quieter than before, he speaks directly in my ear. "A daughter."

I turn slightly to look at him, but my eyes don't dare to look further than his chin. "You never said that before."

"There is much I never said." His grip on me is completely loose now that he's sure I won't scream or run away. And I don't. My back is against his knee, his arm draped over it.

"What do you need me to do that you and the others can't do?"

His lips press together in the darkness. "I can't tell you."

"What?" I stiffen. The word has trouble escaping my throat.

"You must trust me."

It's like a nightmare. I'm dizzy again for a moment, wondering if this is really happening. "Wait. You used your power on me and you want me to trust you? Why can't you say?"

"They have a mind reader. She will read your thoughts."

And when she does, I'll remember this moment where the complete feeling of betrayal was overshadowed by the fear that whatever he needs me to do is probably too awful for him to even tell me. Because if he does, I might not go along.

He gives me the night to think it over. Tells me to go to sleep while holding me near him. I don't want to, but his arms are so warm. In the bareness of the room he is the one thing I can hold onto in the dark.

Next Chapter -->

Sight

2011-01-01T22:07:00.000-08:00

"I'm pregnant."

I hadn't meant to just blurt the words out as we lay nude next to each other on the perfectly white sheets of the hotel. The air in the room suddenly became still. My chest rose as I inhaled, my eyes glued to the seam on the bed sheet, my finger near by with one red nail dark against the pale blanket.

Henri's eyes were on me, but he didn't say a word at first. I could see his own chest rising like mine as if the air had suddenly become too heavy for him too. He sat up slowly, the sheet dropping down to his waist. "What?"

"Oh this can't be the first time this has happened. I'm not your only partner, I'm sure."

He expelled air from his lungs harshly. I didn't dare glance up at him. He was nothing more than a tanned torso out of the corner of my eye. His large forearms moved and I could just imagine him running his hand through his hair as he did so often.

"Get rid of it."

The thought had occurred to me. It would be the smartest move. And it wasn't as if it was something I hadn't done before.

I sat up on one elbow and looked up at him. The blanket fell into the crevice between my torso and my hip exposing my breasts. "No."

Henri's lips were parted, his brow furrowed. The lines around his eyes seemed to pile up suddenly making him seem his age. He reached out with one hand, placing it on my hip before sliding me over to him. My completely non-existent belly pressed between us. "No." His voice, soft and scratchy, filled my stomach with a large ball of unidentifiable emotions.

I swallowed them, fighting it back. Against his neck, I whispered, "Henri, you've never seemed like the type of man to care."

He pulled away from me then. Whatever magic he had been working had dissipated. "It's a stupid risk. What if it has powers? Are you going to send it to live with me? To raise it into what we have to become?"

I sat up. My bare back pressed against the cold wood of the head board sent goosebumps up and down my skin. I ran a hand along one forearm, my cold fingers not helping to smooth out the bumps. "No. I'm not." But my plan was still just as bad if she did have powers that I couldn't hide. Wiley would take her if I asked.

My vision focused on the blanket again. It was not strategic. It was not smart. But it was the right thing. It felt right. "Do you have other children then?"

He leaned forward, an elbow on one half raised knee. "Two. One of them isn't mine though he might as well be."

That meant he had another one that was his. Did he have a family in the Wildlands that I didn't know about? Was I the other woman? I looked at him and caught his tired eyes again, but I was unable to ask. At that moment, I had to look very young. He never spoke of his life in the Wildlands, and I never asked because I knew he wouldn't speak if he didn't want to.

Henri rubbed at his chin with the hand attached to the elbow on his knee. "You can't know what they'll be like or how it might affect them." The words that left his mouth were directed softly at the blanket. At first I wasn't sure I had heard him, but I was aware that he was speaking from experience.

The silence stiffled the both of us. It filled the room uncomfortably after his quietly spoken words. There were questions I had that I hoped would help, but the words stayed inside my chest, not even tickling my throat. Answers were what I needed. His help was what I wanted. But I couldn't ask for either.

We left the hotel room together that night, the silence following us down to the street. Outside, he stopped me with one large hand on my cheek, his eyes burrowing into me as if he could plant his thoughts into my mind. Perhaps he could in some way; I still didn't know what powers he had. He brushed his lips against mine before he stepped away from me and down the street. The cheek that hand been warmed by his large hand was suddenly very cold.

She was born a very normal looking little girl. Wiley had her tested for me, and we found nothing out of the ordinary. She was a regular human as far as everyone else was concerned. But I knew better. She was never ordinary to me.

I always wanted him to see her as she grew. We continued to work together except for that short period of time I thought I could be a normal healthy mother for her as I was in the process of loosing my own. Their lives brushed against each other by proximity, through a common connector.

She was nothing like either of us. Where Henri and I pushed at the world, attempting to bend it in the direction we thought best suited for it, she was content. It wasn't unusual for me to find her sitting on the grass watching the bugs and the butterflies. She observed everything with a calm clarity and a steady eye. Her job has never been to ask why, but to see.

That was what I wanted Henri to know and to see for himself. It was possible to smile at the everyday things in life, to find contentment just from sitting on the grass.

When I wrote those letters, my last words to the both of them, I wanted him to know that she isn’t like either of us. She is completely different. An alien gifted to me with lessons to teach about the world we both thought we knew too well.

And now I lay here in the dark one this cold stone floor, aware that when that door opens, it will be the last time. I have nothing left, not even tears to shed for her, but I hope. For the first time, I find myself praying that she is all right.

Chapter 30 Wake up -->

The Previously Perfectly Wrapped Presents

2010-12-21T22:44:00.000-08:00

"Paula, don't you dare."

"I wasn't. I was just gonna take 'em out to gran'ma."

"So Mom, why're you wearing that outfit?"

"Paula, when you say it that way it sounds rude."

"Sorry. It's just you look silly."

"Keep it up and I'm going to make you wear that dress. I just wanted us to look good for Grandma."

"Oh. Is that why you baked the cookies?"

"Yes. So she doesn't worry. Now here, take that plate out there. I'll grab the tea."

"Be proud Mom. She carried the plate all the way from the kitchen and didn't lick one."

"Paula wouldn't do that, would you dear? She's a good girl, and she understands the meaning of patience."

"You're nothing like your mother was at your age, you know. She probably would have already eaten a cookie or two by now."

"What? Hey, this isn't about me."

"Did I ever tell you the story about the morning after I worked hard to perfectly wrap all our presents?"

"Oh god, Mom. Not that story. Can we just let it go now?"

"What story? I wanna know."

"No. Here- have a cookie."

"She's right. I probably shouldn't tell you about the morning one week before the holiday when I came downstairs to find all my perfectly wrapped presents unwrapped and your mother sitting in the middle."

"Oooo! She opened her presents early? Ooooo!"

"Mom, I hope you know you're just giving her ideas."

"You know what she said when I asked her why she opened all my carefully wrapped presents so early? She said, 'Why wait?' Can you believe that? Why wait? Haha!"

"Funny Mom."

"Patience is a virtue dear. And it seems like it skips a generation."

"Ha, Mom's impatient."

"Why do I always feel like you two are ganging up on me?"

"It's probably 'cause you're impatient."

"Out of the mouths of babes, my dear."

I just realized this morning that Christmas is this Saturday. Well I couldn't post one of my normally dark and semi-depressing chapters. So I give you one of Paula's happy memories. It isn't complete fluff. You get to meet Cheryl's mom and learn a very important fact about Cheryl, lol.

Intruder- Conclusion

2010-12-16T20:37:00.000-08:00

Henri leaned against the wall near Wiley's bed as I stepped into the small room with a glass of liqueur in each hand. The liquid swished as I walked to him, releasing fumes that tickled my nose.

We didn't say a word to each other as I handed him a glass, each of us taking a sip as if we were breathing fresh air after being trapped under water. It was partially ritual and partially a stalling tactic for both of us, though probably mostly for me. I looked up at him, catching his eyes and trying to give him the faintest of smiles despite everything on my mind piling up and blocking my words.

He was the one to speak first, in a soft grunt. "So she made it back safely then?"

He didn't have to elaborate. I knew who he meant. "Yes." I bit my tongue, saliva washing the flavor of the liqueur remaining on my tongue down my throat.

Henri didn’t ask any further. I watched him as his eyes fell down to his glass with lips pressed together as if they wouldn’t allow even a drop of liquid in. There was always something more to him, but it was so easy to never look further with him because it was exactly what he didn't want.

I perched my own glass against my bottom lip, letting the cool feeling sink in against the delicate skin, before I flat out just asked. "So the intruders."

He moved very little, only lifting his eyes from the glass in his hand to look at me with that old weary expression that seemed to add years to his face. Anna had asked after that look of his. She'd seen it on him in that little amount of time she'd spent with him and she was frightened for him. She had called it a look of "lost hope."

"They didn't have much information to give."

The use of past tense didn't completely escape me, but I pushed the thought away quickly refusing to look at it any closer even as my stomach tightened around nothing but liquid and air. Anna hadn't been wrong about the lost hope nor was she wrong to worry for him. A man without hope who still had the urge to live could only be a dangerous man, one willing to do whatever he could to survive.

Except I had seen it flash across his face when he'd seen his little sister. It had been gone in an instant, but I had witnessed the smallest vulnerability in the armor he wore. In that instant, I saw the true man, the one he hid behind that frighteningly gruff exterior.

So there was hope. He hid it well.

I had been quiet too long. Henri looked up at me again from his glass. "What is it?"

Anna had asked about us. "So are you and him like a couple or something?" A small knowing smile had crept over her face to replace the earlier look of concern she'd had when she asked me about the intruders. "Do you think he'll kill them?"

I hadn't known what to say to her. Anna was a smart woman, but her siblings worked to shield her. Still it hadn't been enough. Some things couldn't be hidden. She'd managed to find us and Henri. She had managed to read him accurately enough in the short time she'd had with him.

I stepped towards Henri, putting the glass down on the small table next to him. We stood inches apart, his hands down at his side, the tips of his fingers holding onto the edge of his glass. His lips parted ever so slightly as I pressed my body to his. There was the soft sound of glass against wood as he put his glass down next to mine before lifting his hands and letting them fall comfortably on my waist. My own arms fell on his shoulders and slid around his neck as we pressed closer together.

We stayed that way for minutes. Who knew exactly how many lives were on Henri's conscious. There were the lives lost in the Revolution. Lives lost most likely at his own hands or the hands of those with him. There were the lives twisted as the ripples of the Revolution spread out across the Wildlands and our territory. And there were the lives that would be lost in the future, the ones snuffed out just from living in the Wildlands.

There was no way a man like him could survive if he allowed himself to drown in the guilt. His want to live was stronger than that.

"You guys're being very quiet over there," Wiley said from the other room. I could imagine him standing in the doorway leading from his main room to the small kitchen as he called out to us. "You aren't on my bed, right?"

Henri and I pulled apart, and I let a laugh go even as I brought a hand up to stop myself. "No. We'll be there in a minute." I glanced up at Henri, my features naturally relaxed in a smile, and was surprised to see him with a similarly relaxed smile spread almost cautiously on his face.

Before Anna and I parted, she had grabbed my hands and look at me with her wide eyes. "Sis--" when I protested, she'd waved her hand, "whatever. Fine, possibly-closest-thing-I'll-get-to-a-real-sister-in-law-that-I-know-I'd-like, just do me a favor. Keep an eye out for him, okay? I know he comes across as a tough guy; he's always been that way even when we were all younger. But..." Her lips had parted as her words faded away, but her eyes had seared their way into my memory. She had looked confused and concerned, certain that she wanted to ask this of me but unable to vocalize why.

That one night between Henri and me was nothing but a memory we never discussed. It existed as possible potential between us. One good thing for the both of us that could come from all this misery.

Sight -->

Intruder Pt. 2

2010-12-09T21:38:00.000-08:00

Wiley adeptly moved his fingers over the keyboard pressing particular buttons together to pull up different boxes each with different numbers changing quickly as a small light on his computer continued to flash.

"Someone's in the inner tunnel system. They tripped one of my sensors."

I stood behind him as I watched, unsure of what exactly he was seeing. He had tried to explain the sensors to me before, but I had a hard time understanding them and the readings they put out. "Could it be an accident?"

Wiley looked dubious as he tapped at his computer. "They're moving with intent-- going forward quickly, but from the looks of it not recklessly. They're exploring." He turned his chair to look back at me. "Were you followed?"

"No, I made sure. We took all the safety precautions-- did everything you told us to do."

Wiley bit his lip as he turned back to his computer, checking that tunnels were sealed off while keeping an eye on the sensors. I had no idea what his plans were for intruders. He seemed to bank on the idea that the tunnels made most people uncomfortable and afraid. Most of the tunnel openings were hidden or blocked off, a few had off the grid people almost living out of them. But those people were harmless and wouldn't dream of going deeper into the tunnels for the fear of the unknown. These intruders were further than just the entrance, they were far enough in to trip Wiley's warning sensors, yet still far enough away that I could see Wiley wasn't worried.

"So we don't know if it's anything yet, right? You can seal off the tunnel and they'll probably just go away when they think it's closed."

Nervously we waited, Wiley with his eyes on the sensors and me with my eyes on Wiley. When he quickly muttered what almost sounded like a proper curse under his breath, and the flashing continued I could guess it wasn't good though I had no idea what it meant. "Wiley?"

"They got through somehow. They're still coming."

Henri's deep voice sternly broke into the space between us. "Who is?"

Wiley and I turned to face Henri standing in the door way, his younger sister standing behind him with sharp eyes ready as if she were taking in the details and trying to come up with plans of her own.

Clearing his throat, Wiley turned back to his computer as he forced his voice out calmly. "I don't know yet. Intruders in the inner tunnels."

Henri stepped fully into the room and crossed his arms in disapproval. "And what the hell are you doing about it?"

Both Wiley and I looked up at him. From the corner of my eye, I could see Anna also looking up at him, her brows pulled down and her mouth partially open as if she were barely holding back her own thoughts.

"Nothing, they're exploring. It's not the first time this has happened. They'll give up. There's no way they'll figure out a way to us through the tunnels."

Henri rolled his eyes with a gruff sigh. "Cheryl, give me one of the coms. Wiley, direct me to them."

Wiley spun his chair around as I stood staring at Henri. Anna had closed her mouth, but she didn't move either. "What're you going to do?" Her voice was soft and careful, almost weary at the prospect of his confronting anyone.

Henri looked at her briefly before looking at me and holding out one large hand expectantly.

"You're going to face them?" Wiley almost sputtered. "That's not the best move in this case. Then they'll know we're here."

"They already know we're here." Henri's look was stern. He'd never made either one of us feel like children, but faced with that reproachful look from him, I could see the both of us shrinking back. "We need to find out why they're here."

I hesitated to hand over the communication device clipped to my belt. Neither Wiley's look of disapproval nor Anna's look of shocked concern were enough to hold him back, but I was. He couldn't go into the tunnel without directions, and he wouldn't forcibly take the device from me.

"You shouldn't go." Anna's look hardened into determination. "They could be armed."

Henri didn't look away from me. "I'm not concerned with that."

Anna fell silent. I could see it in her face when she realized that he wasn't just a regular human anymore. Her light brown eyes fell on me as if she were silently asking me not to give in though I had no idea if she was afraid for Henri or for the people Henri would find. Through the two years I had known him, I had never seen Henri in action and I had no idea what he would or could do.

Henri didn't move. His hand was absolutely steady, his mouth tightly pressed into a line as if he knew there was only one option and knew I would see it too. My hand slid down to the device on my belt and pressed in the release. It slid off easily and in one smooth motion I had handed it over to Henri, ignoring what I could see of Wiley's look from the corner of my eyes. Once Henri had the device, he commanded Wiley to direct him before turning for the tunnel entrance.

Anna gave an angry glance to me and Wiley before hopping in front of her brother and forcing him to stop. It seemed to surprise her when he did pause as much as it surprised him that she had stepped in front of him. She looked up at him as her glare softened and whatever words she had thought she would say completely left her. If she was going to scold him or forbid him from going, she didn't bother to try. "Just-- be careful, all right?" Her words came out haltingly as if they were not the words she had originally intended to say at all.

Henri put a hand on the top of her head as she moved out of the way and he continued past her into the tunnels.

Intruder- Conclusion -->

*****************************

Most likely to be concluded next week. I think.

Intruder Pt. 1

2010-12-03T08:05:00.000-08:00

"Henri?"

At the sight of him, her eyes became wide, catching the glimmer of light, the corners of her mouth spreading in complete disbelief. She eyed Henri carefully before she slid into his arms in a move that was both awkward and yet the most natural thing in the world.

Henri stayed quiet except for her whispered name on his breath. "Anna..." For once at a total loss for words, he could only respond by tightly holding her to him, nearly crushing her.

"Oh god, Henri!" Henri's little sister seemed to shake in his arms despite how tightly he held her, and then I realized she was crying quietly against him.

Henri's brows, forever drawn down, were still in their usual position, but a subtle change had occurred. He held his younger sister tightly with his eyes shut as if they were the only two people in the room.

Suddenly I was the stranger in the room even though I had known him as an adult for longer than she had. The last time she'd seen him, she had been nothing more than a child, most likely unable to understand what was going on at the time.

Meanwhile, for me, it had been two years since my daring and reckless escapade that had lead to everything that came after. We were a fully formed group by then, working closely with Henri's people when we could or when we needed. But I was the one who worked most often with Henri. Something of a cautious trust had grown between us. I had come to expect him to behave a certain way, and he never seemed to fail to live up to my expectations.

Until that moment, when I caught a glimpse of the true man hidden behind the one he most often put forth.

I found myself staring at a crack in the plaster on the wall in an attempt to give him this moment without the reminder that there was a stranger intruding on this private scene. The small room filled with the soft muffled sound of her sniffing in an effort not to cry.

"Oh god, Henri." Her voice was as soft as her sniffling had been so that I hardly heard her breathe the words out. "They didn't know. I swear they didn't."

Henri tried to shush her gently, but she cut him off, her voice spilling out softly as she pushed back against him to look his directly in the face. "No, Henri, they didn't know. Mom said she never would have if she'd known. But then, after, after-- you know-- they wanted us to keep silent about it. They didn't want her to talk."

I glanced back to see her furiously wipe her eyes with her sleeve in one long yet harsh motion. "They took her. Because she would tell. She wasn't going to keep silent. She thought you were dead and she thought it was her fault."

Henri's eyes caught mine and I could see in them the tired and exasperated Henri that I was familiar with. He didn't ask me to leave, and I didn't move from my spot by the door, held there by her story.

"Dad too. They took him when he refused to let her go. The rest of us were put in one of their schools. If we asked..." She was looking up at him, so I couldn't see her face, but I could almost see the reflection on Henri's. If there was pain on her face, on Henri's it showed as anger and determination. "We had to stop asking. Mostly me. I had to stop asking."

Henri looked at me then, his gaze hardened with anger and frustration, and I simply made a small nod before I stepped out of the room and headed over to Wiley.

Wiley sat in front of his computer working on layouts and plans with a can of fruits near by his computer within easy reach. He turned to me as I stepped into the room with a smile on his face. "How're things going? He starting to act human yet?"

The smile disappeared from his face quickly after a good look at mine. I took a seat near his computer desk as I expelled the air from my lungs in one frustrated sigh, my hand coming up to my eyes to rub away the bad thoughts.

"Wiley, do you ever just hate the world?"

"I live underground and eat out of cans. Would I go through that much trouble if I loved it?"

I wiped at the tear forming in the corner of my eye to head off any other tears with the same thought and smiled at him. "Right. True."

"So things are going well enough to hear her story then." A shadow crossed over Wiley's face as he looked down into his can of fruit. "It can't be pretty all things considered."

I shook my head without feeling it necessary to go into detail.

"Pretty awesome of you to set this up though. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"I told you; she basically blackmailed me. And him. Our hands were forced."

"She offered to help."

"She threatened to get involved. That wouldn't have helped us, least of all her considering who her brothers are."

Wiley shrugged before taking another spoonful of his canned fruits, his eyes glancing over to his screen one second before he completely froze in mid chew. Light from his computer screen hit his cheeks and lit up his eyes as he put the can down and began to tap at the computer.

I hopped up from my seat to stand behind him. "What is it? Something's wrong."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Someone's in the inner tunnel system."

Intruder Part 2 -->

************************************

Unfortunately, I didn't get to show her very much here, and I didn't make her a profile because she was a surprise that showed up yesterday when I was writing. I mean, I've always known about her, but I wasn't really expecting to see her and need a sim for her.

I made her by turning Henri into a girl and going from there. He is a really unpretty girl.

Then I edited him, softening features and making them a little more unique until I got her. Front Side

And then tada! Henri has his little sis. Who came in and saved the day. I went from having nothing a day ago to having two updates. :D

About the Author

2010-12-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

I am one of those writers who claims to have written in the womb.

Okay, maybe that's just a little dramatic. But I have always been unhealthily obsessed with papers and pens. Plus I've always had an overactive imagination. (That's the only explaination I have for some of the things I think up.)

Right now, I'm making a move towards self-publishing. If I can do it well enough, and put out a product I believe in, I figure that it is worth doing. It isn't an easy path, but its something that feels right.

Feel free to connect with me on my writing blog or my author twitter

My more personal twitter is here.

The Meeting

2010-11-26T21:38:00.000-08:00

The tunnel was completely silent except for the soft sound of my sneakers against the concrete. In one hand I held onto a small flashlight as my other hand rested on the small communication device clipped to my hip.

Wiley hadn’t wanted me to come, but as I saw it I had no choice. The core of our little organization was Wiley and me, and of the two of us, Wiley was the one who was most important. He knew things that couldn't easily be taught even though he had tried his best to start teaching me. There were still plenty of things I didn't know.

I caught sight of the room from far away. An old light bulb shined dimly, but in the darkness of the tunnels it was a welcome sight. Wiley had said he’d throw some power to the tunnels we were on in case there were any lights working still, so having the light and the device clipped to my hip was almost like having Wiley directly there to support me despite his objections to the entire plan.

I didn’t have to wait long before I heard him. His shoes made loud thuds that echoed loudly in the silence until it was almost unbearable. My heart beat hard in my chest for what I was about to do.

“Sorry Wiley,” I said one moment before I flipped the switch that would turn off the device. I was on my own except for the small light bulb burning dimly beside me.

It had to be because I was meeting him on my own in the lifeless, abandoned tunnel, but as Henri stepped into the small room he appeared larger than I remembered him. There was no surprise on his face at seeing me.

“Cheryl, right?”

He didn’t smile. His gaze seemed to take in new details about me as we stood there in front of each other. Momentarily I wondered if he was thinking that I looked smaller than he remembered me, but a more pressing concern was his knowledge of my name. We hadn’t bothered sharing our names that night. “Yes.”

I saw his gaze fall down to the device on my hip. I’d had my hand resting on it without thinking even though it was still off. His eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of it, possibly weary of it as I had worried he might be. “Communication devices usually work better when they’re on.”

My hand slid down to my side. “I thought I’d give us some time alone first.” The situation was not ideal. I was alone with him, and though I had read his file, it had lacked one key piece of information. “I asked you here because we need your help. And you need ours.”

A dubious look crossed Henri’s face, but he pushed it away as if he were intent to hear me out. “Why would I need your help?”

“You don’t trust any of them, and you can’t always watch them. But we can. With regular people placed in ordinary positions, we could have them report back to us and create a network of people gathering information. They wouldn’t expect it and they wouldn’t know how to combat that.”

Henri scoffed at the idea. “And who would even think of doing anything like that? People don’t care about anyone other than themselves.”

I bit my tongue at his cynical remark while reminding myself that he would know. After all, according to his file, his parents had been the ones to give him away so they wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. “There are people who aren’t happy with the things they know are going on. They would help. Things aren’t perfect here the way they try to make it seem. There is something very wrong, and if we don’t start standing up for ourselves now we will end up losing in the long run.”

Something in Henri shifted. I knew my words weren’t going to be enough to convince him. He did not come across as a man who was easy to impress. Folding his arms in front of him, he looked down at me as the corners of his mouth drew down. “Cheryl, this isn’t the sort of game you should be playing.”

In his eyes I could see the hardened will that had probably helped him start the Revolution that released him over ten years prior. “This isn’t a game for any of us.”

His expression didn’t change. “And your mother?”

I paused at the mention of my mother. It was a simple question, but it was clear what he meant. My mother was my only close relative and my weakness if I went down this path. Not only was I at risk, but she was being put at risk as well from my own actions, and if Henri knew about her, it would be easy for others to learn of her as well. I swallowed carefully, the lump of spit working its way down my throat. “That’s my concern, not yours.”

Henri rolled his eyes with a hefty sigh that shot out from his chest before he leveled his gaze on me, his eyes stern and hard. He was clearly not convinced. “I want to meet the others in your group then.”

My lips parted as my stomach churned. Although incomplete, it was something of a victory. A compromise suggested by the man himself, proof that he was considering it and he was listening to me. I bit my lip as I thought of how to approach the next part. “No.”

That surprised him. Whereas before, it’d almost felt as if he were trying not to look directly at me in order to avoid intimidating me in my small form, now he seemed to lean in with surprise, all of his attention focused on me. “I’m trying to give you a chance and you’re refusing?”

“Yes.” I looked him squarely in the eye refusing to back down as the details of his file sat in the foreground of my thoughts. Henri was no innocent when he was sent away. He’d been considered dangerous even when he was a teen living here on this side of the fence though he was nothing more than a trouble maker when compared to what he was by the time I met him. He stood before me with a power I didn’t know as the leader of a large group of angry and unfriendly criminals that had been used in experiments. “I can risk my own life, but I won’t risk anyone else’s.”

Henri didn’t move his arms from their position crossed in front of his chest. “So then what the hell do you want?”

I let my eyes drift away as I let the words out, the ones I hadn’t wanted to say or even ask, but standing in front of him, even thinking about the night I had spent with him, I feared it was possible. And if it was possible, I wasn’t sure that I did want to work with him. “Supposedly you were convicted of raping a girl. That’s why they sent you away. And I want to know if it’s true.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Henri still stood in front of me with arms folded, but when I looked up, his eyes were looking elsewhere. I stared at him, searching his face for the answer that I was afraid to find, but he wasn't giving much away. His eyes met mine and he sighed. "No."

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, and I wasn't sure what I was needing then either. Henri wasn't going to offer any more information unless I asked-- that seemed clear to me. He stood watching me, waiting for me to make the decision on whether I would trust him or not.

I bit at the inside of my cheek. He knew my name and he knew about my mother. No doubt he knew how to find me. In a way it was already too late for the both of us to back out by then. Perhaps that was why he'd been so patient with me.

Unclipping the radio on my waist, I turned it on catching the tail end of Wiley calmly calling my name even as his voice shook. “—eryl? You there? You better turn this thing on soon or I’m going out there.”

“Sorry, I’m here, and I’m fine though meeting us out here is not a bad idea.”

The Intruder Part 1 -->

The Center of the Room

2010-11-18T22:51:00.000-08:00

"You did what?"

Wiley looked at me as if he were choking on one of his chess pieces. "You were only supposed to visually confirm that he was there at the party. That's it."

I hadn't wanted to tell him, but I did for the sake of being completely honest. Wiley was the one person I could trust completely, and I was the one person he was trusting completely. If I lied to him, or even kept silent about Henri, he would not be able to trust me, and that I could not have.

"I hadn't planned it." None of it had been planned. But presented with the opportunity, I took it. My toes curled inside my shoes, pressing against the soft leather under my feet as I thought about the night we spent in the hotel room. A large bed entirely to ourselves, the tangle of sheets we eventually had to kick off, the way we hadn't even bothered speaking. It was not something I did frequently. Usually I or the other party would have obligations or commitments, excuses to get away from one another. But this time, if there were other things he should have done, he didn't say a word. And I kept quiet as well.

And so I stood before Wiley in spare clothes I kept at his hideout-- a large old sweater and a pair of faded knit pants.

"That's all you've got to say for yourself?" Wiley has always been much too polite to curse in front of anyone, but right then I swear that I could hear the mental swears he had to be thinking at me. "Cher, he's dangerous. Just like the rest of them."

My lips pressed together. It was true. The entire party had been filled with people with serious political power. They were mixed in the room with the figureheads the people had elected. My part had only been to play the young and interested political writer. Another figurehead working for a paper that tells the people what they want to hear rather than what they really need to hear.

"I'm not going to send you out again if you do something that reckless again."

I crossed my arms for lack of something better to do with them than sitting as dead weights at my sides. He was a year or two younger than me, but just as protective as if he were the older brother I'd never had. I tried to remember that with what we did and were trying to do, feelings ran high and emotions and thoughts were often conflicted.

I took a deep breath and looked at him. "Wiley, I need you to trust me."

He looked away from me before rubbing his face with one soft meaty hand. "Then you have to trust me. We shouldn't get involved with him."

I could see Wiley’s concern, but he hadn’t seen the man standing at the party next to our leader. Henri’s contempt for them had been clear even as he seemed to try and mask it. Most of the others seemed to subconsciously stay away from him except for the head of our government who stood near him proudly. The two of them standing side by side created the center of the room, but it seemed as if Henri only barely tolerated the man. There was certainly much going on, and I spent most of the night watching them closely.

“I think we should.” Though I had been thinking about it, I hadn’t thought the words I would use to encourage Wiley to side with me. Wiley required care and honesty; I could feel him pulling away with my blurted words. I worked quickly to try to regain ground as I could see the disbelief written across his face. “He doesn’t trust them anymore than you or I do. I get the feeling that he’s trying to do what he needs to for survival. If he doesn’t side with them, you know they will try to destroy him and his people.”

Wiley looked dubious still, but I could see his shoulders slumping as he sighed, releasing the air from his lungs and making him look a bit smaller. He sat down at his desk and began to sift through the paperwork until he found a manila file which he slid out from under a pile of papers. He stood and handed the file to me, his eyes shining with what I could only guess was a stubborn light.

I looked down at the file in my hands, opening it up to look at the printed papers inside it. These weren’t real official documents with seals and heavy paper. They came from Wiley’s printer most likely, so the only assurance I had that they were real was simply my trust in Wiley.

Henri’s name jumped out at once. Henri Smith. This was his file. I glanced back up at Wiley who stared blankly towards his computer. “You’ll want to read it,” he said. “At least look it over. Use the other room. It’s old though. A last transmission sent from the main lab server to here right before the Revolution.”

I nodded and took it with me to Wiley’s spare room. The file was thick. A last transmission meaning they never knew they wouldn’t get the chance to take more notes or send another transmission.

I sat down in one of the old chairs in the extra room with the file balanced on my legs as I folded them under me. It felt wrong then to pry through the file of a man who I had been with so intimately but hadn’t even shared a word. We hadn’t even bothered to tell each other our names. I only knew his name because Wiley had told it to me before sending me out to verify his presence.

Still, I opened the file and set to work.

The Meeting -->

**********************

Not the person you want to hear about after that, but I give you Wiley's profile.

In the Dark

2010-11-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

Cold stone presses into my bare skin. I try to lick my swollen lips only to realize I have nothing to spare to take away the stinging dryness. My sore body is covered in bruises and scrapes. I have always thought of it as strong and healthy, but now that health is a curse that simply keeps me alive longer waiting for the inevitable.

I thought I had seen the worst of Neutral Politics before, but I was clearly wrong. This is the dark side. They claim what Henri and his people do is wrong, but they do the exact same down here where no one can hear you scream and they pretend that they are above treating their fellow humans like animals. But here I lay on the cold hard ground in a place that is said not to exist as all traces of my life and my daughter’s life are erased as if we had never been. No one will ask questions. It just happens from time to time. People accept that as a hazard of living a free and civilized life.

This is the hidden truth that is easy to ignore when playing dress up and going to fancy dinner parties and playing spy. We volleyed lies back and forth the way children play catch. And I dropped the ball, didn’t pay enough attention, somehow I didn’t see this coming.

I had one chance to communicate with them. Those letters would be my last words to the outside. I will die here. Hopefully in my sleep on this floor and not out there where the Special Servicemen wait for me to think I’ve recovered before they begin again.

Exhausted, my eyes fall shut even as the cold from the ground moves through me. I lack the energy to shiver. My mind wanders freely over memories that bubble up to the surface without my conscious thought. They comfort and at the same time they hurt, and I would cry, but that I have nothing left to even moisten my lips with…

Firm, hurried kisses. Large, warm, calloused hands on me, sliding up my waist, pulling me to him. I remember I could feel him in his trousers, pressed against my leg. He was a large man in an old style tux, an anomaly, a man who shouldn’t have been. Where he should have been was dead or in a lab still being experimented on. Yet he stood before me, a full person with a mysterious power, on my side of the fence at a political function no less. A large mass of a man who had accepted my presence in the men’s bathroom and my following romantic attack as if it was something that he was familiar with.

He was surprised at first. I had seen it in the weary look in his eyes as if he worried for a moment that I could possibly be more than I was. An assassin perhaps? Or maybe by then he was already simply too used to needing to be on guard from a life lived in the Wildlands where no one could be trusted.

I clung to his shoulders as his hands slid down to my thighs, pressing the fabric of my dress into my skin as he slid it up towards my waist. He had me against the counter, the corner of the counter top pressing into my backside before he lifted me. The cold stone sent a chill along my exposed skin like an electrical charge. I gasped in surprise, but Henri continued. This hadn’t been what I’d honestly intended at all, yet Henri had managed to gain the upper hand even though I had been the one to catch him off guard.

I could have stopped it. But my brain refused to work other than to observe him, to take in the personal details of his touches and the firm way he held onto me, leading the way to our deviancy. Though I was younger than him I was not lacking in experience, yet there was something different, an electricity that sat in the air around us and between us, shocking me each time his bare skin touched mine. I could almost imagine that there was some reverence to him, deep seated under the firm grasps and the way he nipped at my neck.

He moved my panties to the side with one of his large fingers, brushing against my skin for a half second before pressing himself into me. At that moment, we both seemed to hesitate, pausing as our thoughts caught up to our bodies. But he was inside me then, it was too late for either of us to stop. I grabbed him, pulling him close to me, wrapping my leg around him, begging him to continue. It was the only way it could end.

There was no tender gentleness. He was a man who knew exactly what he wanted and what he needed to do to get there. His arms held tight to me, and I had little to do but fight to stay quiet.

It was over quickly as those sort of crazed passion fueled dalliances are prone to being. It wasn’t any less satisfying for either of us. He didn’t move away from me. I held him inside me for a moment longer with my foot pressed against him until our breaths began to slow. Neither of us was in a rush to get away from the other.

We couldn’t stay there forever, but we couldn’t go back to the party smelling of sex. So we simply didn’t.

The Center of the Room -->

Intermission: Cheryl

2010-11-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

Political activist, politician, spy, and mother. This is Cheryl's story.

Timeline: Flips back and forth from Paula's present story to 20 years in the past

Chapters
In the Dark
The Center of the Room
The Meeting
Intruder Part 1
Intruder Part 2
Intruder- Conclusion
Sight

And a holiday intermission: The Previously Perfectly Wrapped Presents

Chapter 29 Don’t Look

2010-11-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

My face still burns. Henri’s place is too stifling full of expectations and reminders of a life I don't fit into. So I climb up to the third floor away from Henri's place and away from Alex.

The third floor is completely empty and bare. It clearly hasn’t been lived in for a very long time, and obviously no one comes up farther than Henri’s floor. Though the heat trapped in the building accumulates up here with the stale air, there is something freeing about being on this floor.

The walls are white and bare lacking any of the trash, scribbles, or dirt from passing people like on the ground floor hallway. I'm completely alone for what feels like the first time since I got here.

I lean back against the wall of the hall with large windows open onto the street, rubbing my face with my hands as I try to ignore the stinging of my eyes. In the quiet of the blank hall standing completely by myself, it hits me. This is my life now, and in this new life, I'm not a kid.

But most importantly-- what I’ve mostly been trying to ignore, the part that hurts the most-- this new reality that has me suddenly needing to grow up now is lacking the one person that has always been there for me and taught me everything I know. She’s the one person who would know what to do. She’d probably be all for me and Alex, and she’d probably know exactly how to handle Henri and be best friends with Brandon and Jimmy if she doesn’t know them already.

But she's not here. I'm completely on my own, and worse than needing to grow up is the realization that she’ll probably never be here and I need to do it all on my own.

I stubbornly rub at my eyes in simple refusal and glance around for distraction. There are two doors leading into two different apartments before me. Henri did say we were the only ones here.

The first one I open on the right side is completely empty. The only sign of life are the cobwebs in the corners of the rooms that make me shudder at the sight of them. Dust clings to them, old and ancient, some of the webs droop. I don’t bother stepping in too far in case there are mutant spiders here too. Interestingly, through the old grimy windows, I can see the marquee of a tiny theater. Most of the letters have fallen off the yellowing sign, but it still manages to catch my attention. Henri’s apartment windows look out on the other side of the apartment building where an old brick building of some sort sits. It’s not nearly as interesting as this.

This had been a proper little town where people had lived and worked before the Revolution. The theater is just another sign of an old way of life. I step back into the hall and shut the door. Though I expect more of the same from the next apartment, I still open the door with the intent of just peeking in.

A soft, stale scent hits my nose before my eyes land on the furniture covered in dust. I inhale too quickly in surprise and the dust, having forgotten what it’s like to have a person breathing, shifts too quickly, burning down my throat and tickling my nose.

My throat scratches as I swallow and carefully step inside. This place was once lived in, but it hasn’t been touched in years. Something about it makes me uneasy. It’s almost like a shrine of some sort. In this place where everything is used and reused and nothing goes to waste to have a non-lived in apartment filled with furniture is a shock. Something definitely happened here.

To my left near the kitchen there is a small round table with three chairs. One chair is on its side as if someone jumped up too quickly. The chair next to it is flipped over completely. The last chair is still upright, pushed back from the table. That is the one that's most disturbing.

I step in further and look for more clues, but the apartment doesn’t have much else. There is a sofa, but no clues left in its dust covered cushions.

There are two doors leading to two rooms just like Henri's apartment. The master bedroom would most likely be the one on the left, and I get a creepy feeling from it crawling up my back between my shoulder blades, so instead I go to the room on the right.

A sound escapes from me at the sight of the toy and small clothes on the ground. There is a dirty mattress, but not much else in the room.

It was a child’s room. The small toy car on the ground makes me think it was a boy’s room. Would he even have known what to do with a toy car? This couldn’t be a room belonging to someone from before the Revolution. This had to be something more recent and even then, judging by the dust on everything, still not that recent.

The shirt on the ground is so small. I kneel near it not daring to touch it. Near-by is the dirty mattress with no sign of a blanket. That could mean anything, of course. It’s been years. Maybe there had been blankets and they’ve just gone missing. Still, the bareness of the room says something. The lone toy car is something obviously special. There weren’t any other signs of a child throughout the house.

I suddenly feel very uncomfortable. This is someone’s past, and I’m just traipsing around through it like it’s some form of entertainment for me.

Henri never mentioned this was here. Brandon never mentioned it either. Maybe that had less to do with a lack of consideration on their parts and more to do with this room being some sort of void for the both of them.

The small shirt on the ground draws my attention again. Brandon and Jimmy and even Henri at some point long ago were all small enough to fit in a shirt like that once. Such an obvious thought had somehow never occurred to me. It’s like when meeting someone, I just assume they are the way they’ve always been. But that’s not true for anyone, and that’s not even true for me.

I stand and roll my shoulders again, that creeping feeling rolling under my skin up my back. Quickly, I step out and shut the door, giving it all my attention to close it as quietly as possible even though I’m the only one here. The master bedroom door is only feet away, but I want out now. Henri’s place is the spot I should be, not here.

“What are you doing here?”

I almost choke on the dust and the lump in my throat as I turn around. Jimmy stands in the door way, his normally cold eyes burning me from across the room. I try to speak, but the lump in my throat makes it hard to breathe even.

“Out.” His voice is deep and gruff. There isn’t a need for him to repeat himself. Quickly, I move across the room and squeeze past him and out the door into the bare hall. For a moment I contemplate running, but there is no point to it. I could only go to Henri’s, and it’s not like he wouldn’t know where I would be. Alex couldn’t protect me-- not from Jimmy.

So I turn to face him even as I freeze in the spot, my joints locked, my voice missing.

He steps out slowly, still looking pissed, and right then I know whose past I was traipsing through. It was his. Who else could be this upset but the person whose past had been violated?

His eyes are hard; they slice through me as effectively as any weapon. “What were you doing in there?”

I bite into my lip, looking for the strength to explain, and unable to come up with anything that doesn’t sound disrespectful. His entire body is tense, and I can’t help remembering that one day I saw him kill that man right in front of Brandon’s apartment in front of everyone. No words come out with that, nothing I can say will properly defend me or make him less pissed.

“Get out of here,” he finally says deeply, darkly. He turns his glare away from me, and I take the opportunity and leave quickly, almost running to the stairs and back to Henri’s apartment.

At Henri’s, I sit on the sofa with my legs pulled up to my chest listening for the sound of Jimmy’s footsteps. I expect that this isn’t over. It can’t be over that easy, especially where Jimmy is concerned. He doesn’t seem the type to easily let go of something like this.

I do feel guilty—like I’ve wronged him even though I didn’t know.

There’s a soft knock on the door that surprises me. It couldn’t be Jimmy, but I’m in no rush to answer it. The last time someone knocked it was creepy Aaron.

“It’s Alex,” the voice on the other side says. I hop up quickly and open the door, slightly concerned that he would make his way up here and wondering what that means.

He stands there looking concerned when I open the door but he doesn’t say anything. Right away, I have a feeling that he saw Jimmy and that he could tell something was wrong. Logically, it’d have to involve me in some way, but he doesn’t bother to say it. He doesn’t even bother to reach out the way he did this morning to comfort me.

I don’t say a word either, and the space between us almost seems to swell. For a moment, I think of stepping across the distance into his arms of my own free will. But then he says, “I am sorry.”

“What?”

The last thing I can remember is looking into his bright, emerald eyes.

Intermission: In the Dark

*********************

What Brandon has said about his past
W hat Jimmy has said about his past

I wonder if this piece will be confusing, but I've read it a couple of times and it's exactly the way it was meant to be at this point in time. Also, I trust you all and know you'll ask questions if you have to. I also know you'll probably see things in this piece that I didn't see!

Also, just because I can see it coming up as a possible means of confusion and I can't see a way around it other than to just say-- this is not the apartment Brandon lived in as a kid. This was the pre-Brandon apartment.

Chapter 28 The Lost Lander

2010-10-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

The rest of the morning feels off after that strange start.

I clean up and putter around the house, wiping things down that probably don't need wiping in an attempt to give that strange feeling time to fade away. It doesn't. Once the sun is up, the early morning light trying to shine its way into the kitchen window, I head downstairs. If the day is going to be strange, then let it be strange.

I peek out the door and see Alex sitting by himself on some crates outside. It's hard to believe he's a Lost Lander. I don't really know what I expected, but he's certainly not it. The only clue I ever really had was the strange accent on his words. Other than that, he looks just like anyone else. He's as normal as whatever passes for normal around here.

He looks back over his shoulder and notices me with a smile before he stands and comes over to me. I feel like an idiot spying on him from the crack in the door, but there's no accusation or judgment on his face. He looks glad to see me, a small smile on his lips as he reaches out for me again, putting his hands on my hips.

That smile of his widens innocently. "Your face is red again, but I have shirts. Two shirts." He tugs at his shirt, a short sleeved one over an older, ratty, long sleeved one.

It doesn't help. This is just too natural standing here like this with his hands on my waist while I blush like an idiot. Do girls even blush here? They probably see so much by the time they're my age-- he probably thinks the red face thing is a rash or something.

He touches my face like he did yesterday. "You are okay? Brandon came in time?"

It takes a second to switch gears. He must mean last night. So he went and got Brandon last night. "Yeah. Fine. What did you think he would do to me in Henri's house anyway? Henri was coming."

Alex looks troubled and right away I feel guilty for sounding so harsh. "Do not trust him. He isn't a good man."

"But he's Brandon's friend, isn't he? Brandon wouldn't be friends with a person who was bad, would he?" The words coming out of my mouth surprise me. My mouth and brain have completely disconnected, and I'm not even sure what I'm looking for. To prove Alex wrong? To see how deep Brandon is? To comfort myself?

"Brandon is different," he says with hesitation. "He is good, but does what he must."

The odd morning and that creepy girl probably contribute to my discomfort at Alex's words. It doesn't help that I ate a breakfast made by Henri. My stomach twists threateningly.

So I change the subject completely. "Why didn't you tell me you were a Lost Lander?"

That doesn't exactly seem to catch him by surprise. Still, there is a shift in his gaze from concern to somberness.

"I didn't want you afraid of me."

There is nothing I can say to that. I can't even deny that I would have been scared. Maybe I would have, but maybe I wouldn't have. No one really gave us the chance to find out.

"You look very young sometimes," he says, still with that shadow over his face that makes him look older. "They say where you are from you are a child."

"Technically, in a way."

Alex's hand slides around to the small of my back. He presses me towards him and I find myself enveloped in his arms. It is warm and yet at the same time frightening. A move so natural and yet at the same time unbelievable. Compared to him I am a kid, and he's an adult and has been for a long time by my guess. Living a life I could never imagine that I find myself resisting even now. I'm not a part of this world and even if I've met some people that I've grown to care about, I'm still not a part here. I don't fit in, and I probably never will.

"Alex," I softly say as my mouth takes over again. "Aren't you sleeping with Kyrene?"

I expect him to jump back and deny it. Isn't that what they do in TV shows? But he doesn't.

"She won't have kids."

My mind goes completely blank. "What?"

He pulls back enough to look me in the eye. "She won't have children. She uses her power to stop it."

As far as I can tell, there's only one way to take that and if just his hug was frightening, that's terrifying. "I'm not having kids either!" Heat bounces from my skin to my hair, trapped against my ear.

I'm ready to pull away, but he says, "I wouldn't do that to you."

Some part of him comes across as wounded or insulted, and I suddenly feel guilty for my assumption. But I'm not sure what he means or even what to ask to better understand him. All I think I know is that he doesn't mean he wants to get me pregnant.

His hand on my back, Alex stands too near. Still, I don't move away. His stubbly chin gently brushes against my temple, and I'm satisfied staying here like this with him. But I know this can't be enough. He's a grown man. He's been with Kyrene.

There's a small comfort to that though. He has someone who knows what to do and how to make him happy. Because I don't really think I do, but I don't have to be the one to be with him.

He surprises me by simply standing here with me. He doesn't do more or ask for more. Until there's a moment I'm looking up and he's looking down, and the distance between us feels as if it's melting away. It frightens me and I step back. For a second, he does look like a man who will swoop me up in his arms, and for a moment, secretly, I almost entertain the idea of it. But he doesn't do it, so I don't have to thrash around in a lame attempt to get away.

Instead I make up a lame excuse and go. He doesn't argue, and he doesn't come after me.

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 27 Next Morning

2010-10-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

There’s a chill in the air when I wake up in the morning. I shiver and pull the blankets up.

It’s still dark out. Hardly time to wake up, yet I can smell the warmth from the kitchen. Something is cooking. In my chilly half sleep, memories rise to the surface. That smell reminds me of something. It sits just out of recall, somewhere close to the front of my mind, but resisting my tugs to come closer so I can think about it.

I lay there for a while mentally playing cat and mouse before I really think about it. Someone’s cooking. I can smell the strong scent of the bacon coming from the kitchen. The door is hardly insulated.

I'm late. Quickly, I get up and change into some clothes. The cold morning air making goosebumps rise on my legs and arms. My stomach sinks to the ground. The sky is still so dark, but Henri is indeed up and moving around in the kitchen.

I step out of my room and right away my eyes fall on Henri at the stove cooking.

The word “whoops” comes to mind. It's still dark outside though. Normally by the time breakfast is done the sky is starting to lighten up.

Henri glances back at me with something I'd take for guilt on a normal person. That's when I see the girl standing next to him.

“We woke you,” he says simply. The girl looks ridiculously small standing next to him; she can hardly be older than twelve or thirteen. Still, even though I have to be bigger and taller than her, she seems to look down her nose at me as she stands very close to Henri. I can almost see him pulling away, tensing ever so slightly on the side she stands on. He doesn’t look very comfortable, though I realize it could just be projecting my own thoughts.

I don’t step into the kitchen. “Uh, I'm not late, am I?”

“No. We're leaving early.”

The girl still glares at me even as she inches closer to Henri protectively. There is an awkward quiet as Henri goes back to cooking after gently pushing her back with a forearm high on her chest. Surprisingly, she doesn’t look abashed about it. She grins up at him, her eyes sparkling.

Henri plops the last couple of pancakes onto a plate already sitting there on the counter with bacon. The girl takes her plate and sits down at the table like she’s right at home with a look down her nose at me as she walks past.

Henri steps around the counter and hands me my plate. “Paula, meet Theresa.”

Theresa sits with her back to me in the spot Jimmy normally sits in-- the one next to Henri’s chair. She hardly glances back at me before waving her small hand in the air half in greeting and half as a possible dismissal.

Henri seems wary and uncomfortable. Possibly because he has two teenage girls to deal with this morning or possibly because she seems unable to keep a truly respectable distance from him. When we sit down, she’s somehow closer to him than Jimmy’s ever been. Every so often, she glares up at me and I get a creepy feeling that she knows exactly what I'm thinking.

“So where are you going?” I ask, not because I really want to know but because the silence and her glares are disconcerting.

Theresa shakes her head. “I don’t even officially know yet. He’s not going to tell you.”

“Theresa,” Henri says in warning. It seems he has had more experience being a father than I've credited him for. He did that perfectly. “I should be back tonight as normal,” he says to me.

Theresa, having been scolded, glares at me and gives me another slightly creepy feeling that almost makes me move closer to Henri myself.

Once breakfast is over, Henri and Theresa get up to go. Henri seems to make an effort to stand between Theresa and me. Once they get to the door, Henri almost has to push her out with a low grumble about someone who's expecting them. I can almost see her grin, her cheeks slightly rising under her eyes before Henri does manage to push her out. I hear him scold her again when they’re out in the hall and then thankfully they're both gone and that cloud of creepiness is gone with them.

Next Chapter -->

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New profile featuring Theresa. :D

Chapter 26.75 Truths

2010-10-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Kyrene smiled at him genuinely. She lay on her side, the light from the candles hitting the side of her face softly and accentuating her bare curves. "I've seen it in your eyes when you look at her. Something about her reminds you of your first wife, doesn't it?"

Alex rolled over onto his side to run a hand over her hip and into the dip of her waist. "No. She is nothing like Lalani."

Kyrene watched him in a way that made it seem like she knew things about himself that he didn't know. Though she was not a mind reader, Kyrene knew people. It was how she was such a considerate lover.

Alex gently pushed her onto her back and began kissing her shoulders down to her breast where he gently ran his tongue over her nipple. She lay back and lifted her hands over her head in submission.

"You're a complicated man, Alex," she said as he nipped at her stomach. It moved and vibrated with her softly spoken words. "Am I the first person you've ever had sex with for fun? And even then, you attack it the same way you attack everything else. Like you are studying it, looking for my weaknesses, forming a plan of attack."

She chuckled. Alex slid up to lay next to her, his body pressed to hers as he looked her in the eyes. "It was always for fun with Lalani."

"Is that what you thought? How many kids did she give you?"

"One. My first. She couldn't have children after that." The words, though true, still hurt spoken out loud. Not because he had needed more, but because that was the reason she had never felt good enough. She'd never felt worthy of his love or affection. It had only made him want to prove to her more that he loved her, but each touch that left her barren seemed to have the opposite effect from what he intended. He wanted to reassure her, and it only seemed to make her feel worse.

In one look, Kyrene seemed to understand. She knew of his tribe and the importance they placed on children. "I'm sorry." Kyrene ran her hand down his cheek, her touch gentle despite the calluses on her fingers from daily practice with her weapons. Her voice was hardly a whisper. "So that's it."

He looked at her questioningly.

"You protected her, didn't you? That's the key." She pulled him down on top of her, holding him to her chest. "Ah, Alex. Every time I think I have the depths of your goodness and kindness figured out, I am surprised. Ferocious Alex, protector of those who have no choice." Kyrene kissed him on the forehead. "If she hadn't had you, someone else would have probably killed her."

He couldn't speak. It was in the past. She had been someone else's, and she had failed to provide a child. Until he had claimed her, she was to be one of the fun women. It was something he'd known she wouldn't survive.

"Alex." Kyrene began with a slight hesitation. He sat up on one elbow and looked at her. "I think it has to be said, though I don't think you think this way. But I wouldn't be upset or jealous of her, you know."

He wasn't sure he knew.

"Of Paula, I mean." Kyrene's dark hair lay around her in a halo. "If you sleep with her, Brandon will kill you. I am not kidding." She smiled tightly at him. "But you can be there for her. A friend, maybe more, is what she probably needs right now. I've seen how she looks at you." When he didn't say anything, she laughed.

It was true. There was a way she looked at him. Sometimes her cheeks became red up to her ears and he wanted to hold his hands against her cheeks until it went away. But the one time he had almost tried it, her cheeks had only become worse. They were hot too. Something about it didn't worry him though. It was something that made him smile when he was with her. With Lalani, everything had been tinged with a sadness, with the truth that she had never chosen him.

"You've noticed too." Kyrene lay a hand on his chest. "There's nothing wrong with it. It's cute. I think the word is 'crush.'"

He glanced away, unable to look at her friendly smile. The thought hurt. It was not right, and yet it felt right. He was not a free man; he was there for a reason that he couldn't forget. It was always present in the back of his mind.

Kyrene leaned forward, kissing him softly as she moved over him. "Go easy on her though. You're very unaware of your own sex appeal sometimes."

Next Chapter -->

Chapter 26.5 The Favor

2010-10-07T23:30:00.000-07:00

This entry completely brought by Gayl. Ruin is back now thanks to Gayl's donation of a graphics card. Thank you so so much! ^_______^

Jimmy poked at the fire in the old rusted pit as Aaron opened the bottle he had brought back from his travels across the Wildlands. It was becoming tradition of sorts for Aaron to bring some thing back that could be shared among the three of them.

But it was currently only the two of them. No one else stood around the fire with them. Others stood around their own fires not even throwing a glance in their direction.

Aaron handed a glass to Jimmy as he sat down, his shrewd eyes watching Jimmy closely. "So where is Brandon?"

Jimmy leveled his gaze with a slight upturn in the corner of his mouth. "You haven't been gone that long."

"Asshole. He's out screwing around while I'm here visiting? He can do that any time."

It was true. Brandon was only away because Jimmy had asked him to give Jimmy some time alone with Aaron. When he'd asked for that, Brandon had given him a look similar to the one Aaron was trying to hide behind his glass and his smile. But it was clear in his eyes. Jimmy knew Aaron as well as Aaron knew Jimmy. They were both playing a waiting game.

"He'll join us in a bit."

"Not if it's Kyrene," Aaron said with a smirk. Jimmy ignored it. Whatever was going on between Aaron and Kyrene was another matter completely and none of his business.

They sat together quietly sipping their drinks. Aaron watched Jimmy closely though he was subtle about it.

"So what was that earlier?" Aaron asked slowly. "With your little sister."

"She's Brandon's little sister," Jimmy quickly corrected.

"Close enough." Aaron eyed him, the mask he had been holding onto completely sliding away. "You know what that reminds me of."

Jimmy's eyes jumped from the flame before them to Aaron sharply, but the man continued without halting.

"Helpless human girls seem to draw you two like sugar." Aaron leaned forward the glass dangling between his knees.

He was the only one who could say it. One of the only ones who would even know about it. Jimmy looked away. Aaron always pushed; it was what he did. As their friendship aged, Aaron seemed to push even more, confident that he could without pissing Jimmy off and betting that he could handle Jimmy if he got really pissed.

"It's not like that." Jimmy practically spit the words out. "There's something I need to do."

Aaron didn't skip a beat. "What is it you want from me then?"

"A favor. And no complaints."

Aaron sat back in his chair, the rusty old thing squeaking and grinding. "You and Henri both want to kill me then."

"That's one way to see it. Or we just trust you to get things done."

Next Chapter -->

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1. Sorry this is so short compared to normal. It's about half the size, but I hope that pictures of Jimmy and Aaron make up for it.

2. I really hate Aaron's hair mesh. It looks really bad by fire light.

3. I typed up this entry completely on my DSi XL. *hugs the DS*

Unfortunate announcement

2010-09-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well, uh, there's been a small problem... my graphics card seems to have died.

There are two problems with this. The first is that I don't have the money at the moment to replace it. The second is that I don't have the money because I spent it on getting new games for the Atari 5200, so I was planning on taking a vacation next week anyway to play the games that are going to come it.

So I am not completely sure what to do yet. I'm looking online for replacement cards, and they aren't so bad cost wise, so this shouldn't be a long hiatus. For half a second I've thought about posting up just the text, which is still a possibility to keep the story going at least this week, but I would really like to get shots for this upcoming entry. (It involves fire and nighttime, two fun subjects to work with in TS3.)

So, uh, this is my announcement of an unexpected hiatus.

Never on time- One year celebration

2010-09-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

Because I'm seriously never on time, lol. Over the weekend, I came up with the fun idea of using some of the new store sets to have a little fun.

See, the thing is I get a little jealous when I see neat sim houses beautifully decorated (yes, I'm looking at all of you people) because Ruin is dirty and sparse. I have no good reason to download pretty things. Well, I mean, I can of course, but then I never use them because I still don't play very often.

So here was a chance for me to let my sims have a little fun and play dress up!

Lots and lots of pictures under the cut!

((Just have to say, note Pat's shoes. Those are actually the shoes she always wears, even when in character. They're so cute on her.))

I also got some really cute wall papers out of this. I always flip images and stuff to leave clear space on the left side for the icons.

The boys

The family

The couple

They aren't the full size because I posted them on Photobucket of course. *rolls eyes* I suppose if anyone wanted one, I could just put it in mediafire.

Chapter 26 Found

2010-09-16T23:19:00.000-07:00

“Is it true you have a word for people who don’t eat meat?”

I glance at Brandon after passing on the rabbit dish even though it doesn’t look bad. Just the thought of chewing meat makes me sick right now.

“Uhm, yeah. Why?”

From across the table, Jimmy looks smug as he grins at Brandon. “Told you.”

“Yeah, but who knows when you’re being serious anymore?”

Watching the two of them is weird. They're so normal in this way that it's surreal. But then there’s Aaron. Between the two of them, he doesn’t seem half as intimidating as he did when it was just him and me. His attention is mostly split between Jimmy and Brandon who both gang up on him at times, and then other times it’s Aaron and one of them against the other.

Now Aaron smiles slightly at Brandon in a way that makes it obvious he knows exactly what Brandon’s referring to. “You could always ask me.”

“You’ll just be in on it with him.”

The three of them remind me of some of my guy friends back home. But it’s different. Maybe it’s only different to me because I know better. They are nothing like the guys back home even if they act like them.

Aaron’s eyes slide towards Henri. “Then you can always ask Henri.”

Henri is much too quick to respond to that. “No, you can’t. And I don’t even want to know what it’s about.”

There's a good bit of semi-stifled laughter from them at that as if they'd accomplished their own mission.

After dinner, once Brandon and I've cleared the table, Henri says, “I need to talk to Aaron.”

Jimmy smiles and gives Brandon a tiny nudge. “That’s our subtle hint.”

They make ready to go, but before they do, Brandon gives me a small hug that surprises me. It’s probably what I get for standing too close to him, and he gives a little chuckle when he catches that thought.

Once the door shuts, Henri doesn’t have to even look at me. “I’ll be in my room.”

Relieved to be out of there, I shut my door before I've turned on the light, and for a second I stand against my door in the dark trying to get used to the lack of light. I can hear Henri and Aaron’s voices, low yet distinct. Under the door, the light shifts as Henri moves the light from the dining room to the small coffee table in the living room. It’s brighter, touching my toes and letting me see a little better.

But I don’t move away from the door. I don’t go to turn on my light or even lay in my bed. Instead I stay put against the door, turning my head slightly so that my ear is closer to the door. There is a quiet here that I'm not used to. It’s the lack of all those things that were so distracting back home. No TVs or radios here. It makes for awkward evenings hanging out alone with Henri, but in this one case, it is handy.

Through the mumbling, I catch Aaron's slightly amazed voice, a tiny bit higher than Henri's. "...Cheryl?"

My heart thuds at the recognition of my mother's name.

"...kidding right? ...impossible..."

There’s a weird quiet, and I will my heart to be quiet as I try to listen. The only thing that could be impossible enough for that man to vocalize it would have to be breaking into the prison holding Mom-- but to hurt her or to help her?

Aaron doesn't say much else. "...think about it..."

There are very few other noises, soft, barely audible ones that I assume are from the couch sighing in relief as they stand. I move away from the door when I'm sure they're away from my door.

I stand there pondering what I did hear. It wasn't enough, but at the same time it was more than enough. Mom probably knows things, things they wouldn't want other people knowing.

Nervously, I bite on my finger. Then I hear Henri's boots on the old wood floor. Though his room is near mine, something tells me that he's not going to his room. He's coming here.

There isn't enough time to light my lamp and act natural, so I don't bother to try.

Henri doesn’t knock. He walks right in looking annoyed as he leans against the door jam while crossing his arms. "How much did you hear?"

"You were talking about my mother; I have a right to know why." I glance up at him trying not to feel as small as I do with him angrily standing in front of me.

Henri doesn't have to move far to put his hands on my rickety bed frame which squeaks under his weight as rickety bed frames are prone to do. "You're going to have to trust me. If I tell you to do some thing, you need to do it."

Maybe now isn't the time for an ordinary teenage rebellious streak to rear its head, but I can't help feeling like an indignant child. Trust is earned, not given, and so far he hasn't exactly given me anything I can use to make the judgment call. He just expects me to obey.

"Okay, but in fairness to me, you never told me not to listen in on conversations."

Henri glares at me, his mouth a thin line and his brows pulling down so that the shadows over his eyes deepen.

"Don't listen in on conversations," he says sternly before he stands up, removing his weight from the bed frame and allowing it to snap back into place. Henri turns to leave, and I snap to, the words coming out of my mouth before I've even decided to think about it.

"He wont hurt her will he?"

Henri pauses to glance back at me. "You'll have to trust me."

But it's hard to do. It's like trusting Aaron or Jimmy. Henri is one of them.

Next Chapter -->

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So yesterday was the one year anniversary of this blog. On September 16 of last year, I posted up the first chapter of Michael and Edith's story. And since then, I've pretty much been posting one chapter a week. I'm amazed frankly. Despite all the other distractions, I've been making my goal. Anyway, I had an idea of how I'll celebrate, which didn't come to me until today. Oops!

Chapter 25 Lost

2010-09-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

The pot of food simmers in front of me and I give it a stir. Brandon didn’t do much talking to me today even though he was the one who invited me along. He didn’t even pick me up, instead letting Maria do it. It’s almost like there’s some part of him that is afraid of how I’m going to react as he starts showing me more. Or maybe he’s just certain that I’m going to react badly and he’s giving me my space to do just that.

But he invited me along because he did want me to see it. He even let me see him and Alex fighting. Both of them move in ways I didn’t expect. They’re both faster than I’d imagined they would be. If I ever had to fight anyone like them, I wouldn’t be able to no matter how much training Maria gave me.

There’s a knock at the door that makes me lift my head. At first I’m not sure I heard it, but I still walk over towards the door listening hard. Henri, Jimmy, or Brandon wouldn’t knock. They’d just walk right in. It is possible that it’s Alex though.

I call out even though I worry that I’ll feel stupid when I get no answer. “Who is it?”

A deep voice responds. “Aaron. Henri asked me to come.”

My hand darts to the back of the chair nearest me as my body starts shaking. The shaking alone terrifies me. In my old life, that wouldn’t be a reasonable reaction to someone announcing themselves. My head spins. Where’s Alex? Did he let this guy up? He’d been so disturbed by Aaron earlier, that I almost read it as fear, and if Alex is that scared, then I’m multiple times more scared. My body can’t hold that much fright.

Henri hasn’t miraculously shown up by the time my thoughts clear. Aaron is still out there and I’m just standing here quietly. Maria’s warning is in the forefront of my mind. She said not to be near him without Brandon.

Clearly I’ve been quiet for too long. The door opens, and he walks in, his suspicious looking eyes landing right on me and seeing through my skin straight to my fear.

“Henri isn’t in yet, then.”

“He’ll be here soon.” I say it as I take a step back.

Aaron shuts the door and steps over to me with something in his hand. I’m stuck to my spot, and my hand reaches out automatically to receive the thing he’s handing me until I see it’s a couple of skinned animals or some sort that need to be prepared. My hand stops short still in the air between us.

He smiles. He’s a handsome man which only makes the creepiness that much worse. “Never prepared one before I see.”

“Mom didn’t really eat meat.”

His sharp eyes on me catch me like a small rodent. “I can prepare it.”

I just nod, unable to say no to him. That’s nothing like cooking bacon. It doesn’t seem the sort of thing you can guess at.

He steps past me, and I press myself to the wall to let him through. Aaron moves smoothly just like Alex, but he has Henri’s height and muscle mass. He would definitely stand out from a crowd and draw the eye, but people might be too busy staring at him to actually talk about him.

I hop back over to the stove where my pan is still simmering away. The spot Aaron chooses is directly behind me on the small kitchen island. Henri didn’t say anything about company for dinner which worries me considering our current company is now standing behind me cutting raw meat up much too expertly.

We’re both agonizingly quiet and I stir the pot more than I need to. I glance back at him and see him cutting in smooth swift motions that make me sick to see. He catches me glancing at him and probably looking a little sick before I turn away.

“So who is your mother?” He asks as he lays down the knife and steps over to the sink to wash his hands.

“Cheryl Roberts,” I say as I remove my pot from the heat and turn off the stovetop. I have no idea if he knows who she is, but he’s dressed in clothes that might come from home and I know Henri and Jimmy travel to that side.

He eyes me, the corners of his mouth naturally curving up and his eyes squinting at me as if focusing on something that can’t be seen normally. I try to stand my ground the way Maria said I should though my blood rushes in my ears.

The opening front door catches my attention and so I turn my head and see Jimmy enter, his gray eyes falling on me.

“You creepy bastard,” he says with a smile.

Brandon follows in right behind him and slips over to me. He puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles as he peeks over the stove at the pan I had been cooking. If they all stay, there won’t be enough food for us.

Aaron steps over to Jimmy with a scoff. “I'm creepy? You're one to talk.”

“I'm not the one cutting up a body.” Jimmy smiles at Aaron, completely relaxed, the same as he is with Brandon or even Henri, and for a very weird second I feel like he’s doing me a favor by distracting Aaron. He’s not afraid of Aaron. But then I realize that he’s not afraid of Aaron because he’s Aaron’s best friend and he’s just as creepy and dangerous.

The front door opens again and we all turn our attention to Henri who stops at the door taking in the sight of all four of us standing around in the small kitchen.

We can hear his sigh, or maybe I’m just imagining it. “Aaron, didn’t I ask you to wait downstairs?”

“With the Lost Lander?” That surprises me. I look up at Brandon who’s already watching me. By the look on his face, I’m pretty sure I know exactly who Aaron is talking about. Who else could it be?

Henri glances from Brandon to Jimmy. “Something tells me you wouldn’t have been alone long.”

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Chapter 24 Ghosts

2010-09-03T08:54:00.000-07:00

“You didn’t like that man.”

Alex walks so quick it's almost hard to keep up with him. Thankfully, once we were away from the others and walking down one of the streets, he let my wrist go otherwise I’d probably be dragged along behind him. There is still a tenseness to him that makes him alert, his eyes dart from the horizon at any small sound.

“Alex,” I reach a hand out and touch his arm. That seems to work. He stops and looks down at me, giving me all of his attention.

“He is dangerous.”

“But who isn’t around here?”

Alex suddenly steps very near me, placing his hands on my hips like he had earlier when he surprise tackled me.

“He doesn’t like humans.”

It takes a second before I can think clearly enough to realize what he means. “You mean people like me who don’t have powers.”

“Yes. He thinks they're weak.”

There is something to Alex’s face that tells me there's more than he’s saying. “But I'm sure he's not the only one who thinks that way.” In a lower voice, I add, “I mean, you know where I'm from.”

Alex doesn’t move. “He is a Ghost.”

That throws me. I don’t know what that's supposed to mean.

He probably catches my utter confusion. “They are people who are high rank, but work alone. Southlanders don’t know they exist.”

I roll my shoulders instinctively trying to shove off the chill threatening to roll down my spine. It doesn’t make any sense to me. How could the Southlanders not know about that guy? He looks like he’d stand out like a sore thumb. “How?”

But Alex shakes his head. “Not here.”

At the apartment building, he pulls me inside and then into one of the abandoned apartments on the bottom floor before he stops and looks at me again. My back is to the wall and he stands in front of me with that look of mature concern. It feels weird to be trapped like this in a very abandoned room with a shirtless Alex. His skin still holds some of the heat from the sun and with as near as he stands to me I can feel it bouncing onto my own cheeks.

“Your cheeks are red,” he says as he brushes them with his fingertips. “And hot. This happens a lot?”

“It’s called ‘embarrassment.’ It might happen less if you had a shirt on and didn’t do things like that,” I say as I take his hand and move it away from my face. He chuckles again and I do my best to completely ignore it. “You were talking about the Ghosts. How do you know about it when no one else does?”

Alex becomes serious again. “They know of them, but most think it is a story. I know because I have seen him.”

“Aaron?”

“Yes. With Brandon. They once visited my tribe together.”

My body is frozen, even my heart feels like its slowed down with this surprising new information. “To do what?”

Alex stands back and crosses his arms. I can see him thinking about his answer. “Brandon is our link to the Southlanders. We helped protect the border.”

“Border? What border?” The only one I can think of right away is the Neutral border.

“The Lost Lands.”

A picture comes into my head and right away I remember where I am. We're closer to the other border. The Lost Territory where the worst of the worst live. They're different from the Wildlanders because the Lost Territory was lost even before the time of the labs.

They say Lost Landers are more animal than human. They hunt to live, eating animals and each other if they have to. Supposedly they roam the land in real tribes, attacking each other constantly. That’s all that’s known about them.

It sheds a new light on Alex. He helped protect the border from truly wild Lost Landers, and he’s hardly older than me. Some part of me feels horrible for him having to grow up fast enough to protect his home from people like that. And then I realize that I watched him sparring for fun where the ultimate goal were “kill taps.” He's hardly older than me, but I still get the feeling he's packed more into his life than I probably would have even if I were 30.

Maybe there’s something to my expression. Alex steps forward, his long arms enfolding me like I'm the one who needs the hug. I wrap my arms around him instinctively. His skin against my cheek is still hot like we're still standing in the sun.

“It’s getting late,” he says before he pulls away.

He’s right. I still have dinner to prepare. We step into the hall ready to go our separate ways. I don’t ask him up as I'm needing some time with my thoughts before Henri gets home.

And Alex doesn’t ask. We quietly say good bye, and then I turn away to head up the stairs. Before I get far though, Alex smacks me with an open hand on my behind. It comes out of nowhere and when I turn around, he's grinning hugely. He points to his cheeks and I lift my hands to my own which’re hot enough to cook dinner.

I'm completely mortified. Not very appropriate at all.

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