Friday, November 27, 2009

Chapter 12 Dream

I open my eyes and I stand on the river bank I remember from the village Michael and I visited with the Old Man. Michael stands to the right of me, his blue eyes resting on me casually.


“Shhh.” The last thing I remember was going to sleep, so I’m sure that he is invading my dreams. Perhaps it’s better this way rather than meeting him face to face. I can feel him through our connection. “Is this a memory of mine you’ve pulled?”

He looks out over the silky water smoothly flowing from one end of the dream scape to the other. “No. This is your dream. I'm not controlling it. You are."

“Then why are you here?” There’s an underlying anger with my words that surprises me.

He glances at me sharply, surprised by my surprise at my own anger. “You might not believe it, but you called me. Plus,” this he says in a low tone with a bit of amusement, “Mark won’t let me talk to you.”

I almost laugh. “Since when have you listened to anything Mark says? Or anything anyone says for that matter?”

Through our connection, I feel pain from him as if some hardly covered wound were being poked with a dirty stick.

The water continues rolling smoothly along reflecting fractured moonlight with every ripple. Its soft burbling fills in the silence between us.

He stands very near me, his dream self very crisp and clear-- quite unlike the dream selves of our youth. Of course, he’s probably very aware of what he looks like by now.

“I have an idea of something we can do,” I say.

“A picnic?”

I can’t help my smile. Another memory-- my mother and I in the park sharing a picnic basket.

“What’re we going to eat?”

We sit down and I reach forward for a plate with one perfectly prepared hot dog sitting on top, just the way I like it. Michael reaches forward, a rare smile on his lips.


"You can have anything in the world and you want hot dogs."

I look down at the hot dog in my hands and remember sunny days spent with my mother in the park. "Michael, why didn't you ever send me back to the Neutral Territory?"

Michael puts his plate down on the blanket. My own plate rests heavily in my hands. “I did look into it. Your father had all traces of your existence removed. As far as the Neutrals would be concerned, you’re a non-person.”

I swallow carefully, trying not to cry in my own dream. It still makes no sense to me. "Why didn't you give me to one of the villages?"

Michael pulls up his knee, resting his arm on it. "They get raided. Sometimes they end up giving away people."

A stray image, a thought he pulls back right away, rides on his last ominous words. It is familiar, associated with a name, but it happens so quick I have no time to examine it.

I stand up. “I think it’s time for a change. Just because I can.”

“Aren’t you going to ask me anything about No Name?”

It takes a second before I realize who he is referring to. Even more surprisingly, I find myself saying, “No.” I can't remember the name he told me or even his face. All I can remember from that night is a factual account of what happened. Yet something is different this time. Michael has killed right in front of me before without showing any discernible concern.

"Something was different this time though. For you."

Michael becomes very quiet, his thoughts focusing. "You disappeared the night he had you."

"How did you find me then?"

Michael hesitates. He doesn't want to say. A lingering trace from the night with No Name, from that moment he held me crying in his arms. I cringe when I remember, but it isn't exactly that he's thinking about. Through the connection, I can feel his steeling himself. "We have a bond that isn't conscious anymore."

So is that what he meant when he said that I called him? Then I remember the seeds on my nightstand, the ones I hadn't noticed until I put my head down on my pillow. My last thought had been to ponder the obvious token, a gift I'd assumed was his asking for forgiveness. A clever way to have me fall asleep thinking of him.

We both stay still, unspoken words tumbling into the silence between us. In the dreamscape, through our connection, the unspoken words are thoughts and feelings we both try to hold back. I am surprised by what I can barely sense from him-- guilt, worry, even a little fear and all of it ready to swirl around me like the eye of a storm. But he holds most of it back widening the gap between us.

Then I surprise myself. As my head becomes dizzy from the threat of being crushed under his feelings I reach out into the void between us and grab his hand. The move surprises him too. The possibility of our well placed dams breaking suddenly disappears and there is silence.

We could continue dancing around the pain, pretending it isn’t there, holding back the emotions, but we are circling-- never getting any closer and never able to move away. One of us has to stop the spinning before it’s too late and we’ve both gone too far. The pain is real, it’s there for both of us, not just me.

Maybe that one has to be me. Maybe that’s why I’m really still here. Because he doesn’t know how to, so I have to show him.

I step close to him, wrapping my arms over his shoulders. His hands fall naturally around me, one thumb gently running along my cheek as the other falls onto my back, resting protectively around me without a need to draw me any closer. In the dream world, standing together closely, there is a warmth that slowly builds in the back of my head until it becomes a fire that consumes us.


~Fin (For now)

I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

Paramore - We are Broken (see playlist at bottom of page)

Onto Bonus Picture entry -->


  1. ohhh! I've been waiting for them to connect like this for awhile..a very sweet moment P:

  2. Hello, Ann! Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you liked it. Connecting is exactly the word.

  3. no problem i always like finding great and interesting Sims story's P: and yours is very interesting. i love the songs you pick for the play list. Paramore is one of my favorite bands and the lyrics fit this post perfectly.

  4. Oh, I'd wondered if this was coming! To me, Edy and Michael have always been teetering on the edge of this "line", if you could call it that. I've gone back to read the last couple of paragraphs several times now - beautiful!

    The last five pictures are wonderful, especially the third one. Michael just gets more and more interesting as we get further into this.

    Also, I am very excited to read more about this part:

    "Michael pulls up his knee, resting his arm on it. "They get raided. Sometimes they end up giving away people."

    A stray image, a thought he pulls back right away, rides on his last ominous words. It is familiar, associated with a name, but it happens so quick I have no time to examine it."

    Ha, you really hooked me with that, just that fact that it was familiar to Edy but not quite enough for immediate total recall. I'm intrigued.

  5. I agree Edy and Michael in all the posts have been coming toward this very important moment.

    As different as they both are in a way they complete each other. To me it seems she keeps him grounded and human and he cares for her even if he does not understand her and she does not always understand him.

  6. Thank you very much, Ann. I love Paramore too. And Imogen Heap. Right now, they're just hitting all the right buttons for me.

    Funny story about the last pics, Carla-- those were the original ones I took for this chapter. But the words wouldn't flow. I couldn't get them talking. The dream pics were actually test shots to see the village which appeared back in chapter 4. I've been sitting on them for that long. XD

    I'm also glad you pointed that part out Carla. I will definitely get back to that with a later storyline I have planned.

    Yay, ann! Your comments have really made my day today! For that I thank you very much. I hesitate to say anything, but I feel you've hit the nail on the head and caught what I saw as I was writing them.

  7. Imogen Heap is good too their songs are catchy and the lyrics always have meaning which i like lol. no problem its not often, i bother commenting on blogs ,and when i do that means I'm really interested in the story.

    most of the time i just skim along but , with your your story i have read previous entries just to catch something i might have missed. the way your story plays out is something I've always created as a story in my head when I'm bored usually its about someone who has great mental powers sorta like X-Men type abilities.

    I'm creative i just suck at writing and correct grammar ha-ha( that's probably why i enjoy obsessively playing Sims 2). its always helped at night when i cant sleep i think of a new "chapter" for me invisible story. sorry for the long comment... P;

  8. Oh yay!!! That was beautiful! So much ACHE from these two, through the whole story, and it's finally lifted. I loved it!

    Such great writing in this one too! The dirty stick line, and the well placed dams line, the circling line - such perfect images!

    Will these two show up in any of the later stories? I'll be sad not to read about them again. But this was the perfect end to their story. That's always the best note to end on, I think, in any story - sad that it's over (because it was enjoyed so much), but nothing more needs to be said. Very well done!

    Okay, and I'm glad Carla asked about that part, because I was wondering about that too. I'm glad to see you'll be coming back to that :)

    I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!

  9. Ann, you sound a lot like me when I was younger. I hope that isn't offensive, I get a sense from you that you might be younger than me. 'Course online it's usually a good bet people are younger than me. (I'll be 30 next month. Wow- time does fly.)

    This story was actually the kind of story I'd tell myself when I fell asleep. And then one day I started writing it and it grew. And my writing improved. (Though I still am a really horrible speller.)

    lol, I love the X-men. Have a very serious problem. My boyfriend warns everyone not to get me started. Do they ever listen? No. But I will share this link; it's a comic I just found today that is awesome. If you like this story, you might like that one.

    Also, long comments are awesome, so no need to apologize.

    Wow, thank you Laura!

    I do have a couple more entries, more like side stories, dribbles I guess in a way, and one picture entry that was just fun test shots but I think turned out beautifully. I'll probably manage to release all of those over the next week or so.

    Yes, we will definitely see these guys again. Mark and Mel didn't get enough time, plus there will be Gina's story, and I'm sure she'll have more to add.

  10. First off--such amazing pictures! I'm completely mesmerized by Michael in this one. His looks are angelic even though he is far from it.

    Second off, this is such a beautiful ending to this story. Forgiveness and selflessness, healing and love! Wonderful. I can't wait for more!

  11. lol no I'm not offended I'm only 20 people always think i look like I'm about 18 I'm still trying to get used to it strangely enough.. i guess i will like it when I'm like 30.

    Its funny I'm terrible at grammar yet i'm pretty good at guessing how a words spelled and i love to read.

    i find it fun thinking of stories in my head. my invisible story has always been a cross between Laura croft/X-Men and to top it off add a tragic childhood that makes my heroine awesome P: and of course the heroine has an awesome Irish/English accent that i named years ago the engirish accent. i find accents fascinating esp Scottish, English, Irish, Australian.

    good i figured long comments are a things as a blogger that means people are taking an interest in the story.

  12. so this is how you are ending Edy and Michale's story? I'd say as much as i hate some story lines to go you picked a great way to end it.

    i used to read Alice and Kev then the story just lost the magic it had and i was disappointed in the last posts esp since i thought the last 7 ones frankly sucked and nothing happened really.

  13. This story is like a beautifully crafted necklace: if the other chapters are the pearls knotted together by your craftmanship, then this is the precious stone they support.

    I feel deeply moved by this ending and incredibly happy.

    There is no Sun Tzu war message... in this chapter there are only winners.

    My favourite line?
    "We have a bond that isn't conscious anymore..."

  14. Oooh, Moondaisy, you're right, there was no quote! Like the war is resolved :)

  15. Thank you, Rachel. I didn't think of it until you mentioned it, but to those that don't know Michael, he probably does come off as pretty angelic with his blond hair and his blue eyes and his sun kissed skin. And here, I wanted him to be a little bit more vulnerable. He and Edy are connected, he can't stand back cold and detached now.

    lol, Ann. Yeah, you will like that. When I was 20, people always thought I was a teenager. Now they think I'm in my 20's. It's pretty awesome so long as it keeps up and the gap they think I am keep widening.

    When you think of stories in your head, you're never bored. I used to carry a journal around with me everywhere and then I would just write the stuff down as I thought on it.

    And yes, this is how the story is ending for now. I told Rachel a post back or so that the story never really ends, I just stop telling it. Of course, when I'm bored, I pop in on them all the time mentally and indulge myself by writing about the first morning she wakes up next to him and other such things.

    Thank you, Moondaisy. What a beautiful image. I am glad to hear this ending left you happy. Very glad.

    Nope, no message! There wasn't a single one that was appropriate, and it worked out for the best.

    Yay, no more war. ^__^

  16. lol my aunt's 40 and people always think shes in her early 30's i call i good family Gene's ha ha. that's a great way to do your story , I'm guessing some days it just stays in your head and wont go away.

  17. I really had chills reading this piece. Really well done, compelling writing. I felt their emotions as if they were mine.

    It does feel like there will be more with these two but if you ended it here I think it would be fitting.

    Stunning shots, especially those last few. They said so much even without words.

  18. Yeah! The stories usually do stick in my head until I write them down so that I can think a bit, lol. Otherwise, I'm constantly daydreaming.

    Thank you very much Gayl. I do hope to come back to these two again. I'm rather scattered though at the moment wrangling characters up and trying to ask them to hold still.

  19. I read this series from Chapter 1 in one huge gulp this evening. And I'm sitting here, amazed and entralled.

    Such a complex exploration of relationships, power given and power taken, arrogance and pain. And guilt, which sometimes masks itself as something quite different. You'll notice I didn't include love.

    I adore the first person narrative. Your ability to conjure place and time so easily. And the powerful smack of emotion.

    Incredible writing. Michael is indeed a monster. But a very complicated monster.

  20. Wow, thank you very much, S.B. I have been enjoying your and Gayl's work very much, so to have such praise from you is very high praise indeed.

    I really can't tell you how much your comment has brightened my night.

  21. Wow Lunar Fox, I have been meaning to get to this blog ever since I first saw you posting at our friend moondaisy's site.

    Finally I had the time and well... wow!

    Truelly awesome and inspirational... thanks for writing it!

  22. Thank you Worsiedog! Nice comments like yours are so wonderful so find unexpectedly.

    lol, I would just like to thank these two characters for appearing inside my head and allowing themselves to be written. I really feel like I had very little to do with this story other than writing it down.

  23. I had been wondering the same thing as Carla. It's so wonderful to see them like this; that Eddy is really at the heart of it, the adult here and Michael, he's still very much a child, still learning, still unsure of himself and still needing someone to guide the way.

    I love it. The sense of the world that is both familiar and unfamiliar. I know I've said this before but you really do get the sense of that in every single chapter you write.

    And that poem at the end was just beautiful.

    Stunning work as always.

  24. Exactly. It's true. In a way, someone has to be the adult here. He may have the memories of someone older, and act like someone older, but he's really still a kid with too much power.

    Thank you! That is exactly what I want. I want the world to be unfamiliar and interesting to explore, but I don't want it to completely distract from teh characters. No fantastical beasts or crazy physics, it's just about the people who live here, and their relations to each other.

  25. Very emotional and fascinating. Love that they connected in Edy's dreams first. To over come those barriers, I think the dream was needed.
    And those last shots were stunning in its emotional impact.
    I too, feel there is more to explore with these two, but if you end it here, it is appropriate.
    The writing was especially tight and compelling, a really great update!

  26. Thank you for sharing this amazing world with us. I have just read the entire Edy/Michael story in one sitting and found I couldn't stop hitting the "next chapter" button. I usually try to comment as I go along, but tonight I just wanted to read!

    Such a complicated world Edy seems to live in - and I don't just mean the world outside the home. Her position in life seems to be so different from other humans after what as happened (I'm guessing some kind of apocalyptic event of which "That Night" was only a part) and her connection to Michael is something that neither human nor experiment seems to be able to comprehend. I'm not sure even they know what to make of it.

    How appropriate that she and Michael finally connected in the physical world at the end, not just the mental or dream world where most of their relationship had resided.

    I'm eager to learn more of what has gone before and am looking forward to reading one of your other stories to discover what other gems you have hidden in your blog.

  27. Wow, thank you very much for reading! Your comment definitely made my day. I'm always surprised when people actually read the story to be honest, lol.

    The history of this world is a lot of fun for me to explore. There will be some clues within the myth that shows up later of the Two Brothers. But even I don't know what happened exactly yet. I still have a very strong idea.

    Thank you again very much!

  28. I've just spent the past few hours reading Edith and Michael. I even went back to reread some of your chapters. This is incredible, and beautiful writing. Both Edith and Michael and all the characters surrounding them just have so much depth, even at times when not much is being said at all. I especially loved Mark's narration too. I'm not very good at picking apart the stuff I love about a story, but I really, really enjoyed reading this.

    Will be moving on to Paula's story soon, and I'm looking forward to it.

  29. Thank you, Mela. It does mean a lot to hear that you've enjoyed it so much. (I am still surprised when people read it, lol.)

  30. I'm afraid I have to second what Illandrya said. I just couldn't stop myself from hitting the next chapter button as well.

    This is truly a wonderful story you have written Lunar and the world you have created is amazing. ;)

    It was nice to finally see Edy and Michael get close to one another. I'm sure she was needing this more than him.

    Just have to say once again I love how you describe everything in such detail. Like when Edy grabbed Michael's hand, '...the possibility of our well placed dams breaking suddenly disappears and there is silence.'

    I will be by again soon to start reading Paula's story. :)

  31. Jennifer, oh thank you so much. That really means a lot to me to hear you echoing those sentiments.

    I'm sure she was needing this. The whole story, she was so alone, even with the others around, she was still alone.

    Thank you again. *blush*

    Paula's story is a long one. D: Make sure you take breaks, lol.