Saturday, May 15, 2010


"Killer's gone."

Shawn had spoken the words with a smile and a sigh of relief. Mary was not the only one to have been creeped out just by meeting him. There were plenty of others. It seemed that anyone who had come in contact with him had the same uncomfortable impression that left them jumping at shadows and looking over their shoulders.

"Jimmy ran him off," Shawn said as if it was supposed to mean something to Mary.

It had been months since that day Brandon and Jimmy had taken her to the village. She hadn't seen Jimmy or Brandon since. It had been a last goodbye right before Brandon's own training began. She had expected that she wouldn't see them very often, but she hadn't expected to not see them at all.

"Only ran him off?" Mary had asked.

Shawn had smiled semi-bitterly at that. "Now you're starting to think like one of us. It wasn't his first choice, but there were circumstances. Killer managed to cover his ass pretty well. It's the only reason he's still breathing."

She hadn't realized how tense she'd become since that day in the village. It was silly; she was no one, but still Killer's presence was something that unnerved her. Of course she was safe where she was. It was a protected place that was surrounded by tribe members. Killer was gone, and even if he could somehow return, someone was sure to spot him.

Shawn kept her up to date on things going on outside around her even when she didn't think she wanted to hear it. "You know, Jimmy's become the second in command. Just like his father had been. Getting rid of Killer has pretty much sealed it for everyone, including Henri."

Mary hadn't said much to that, and Shawn hadn't added much else.


She heard the footsteps, boots on the stone stairs. It was a soft sound, too loud in the quiet of the room.

Something was wrong. It was entirely too quiet, and it wasn't until she heard the boots on the concrete that she realized it was the quiet. Normally, the sounds of those above her loudly talking and laughing annoyed her, but this lack of noise sent chills down her spine.

She closed her book, putting it down in her lap before standing up quickly, the book slipping from her hands and falling onto the small rug Shawn had found for her to make the large living space feel more like a home.

There was only one entrance, and he had entered from there. Her mind worked quickly, running through plans, trying to see a way around him. She stepped back, away from the couch, not wanting to turn her back on him, not wanting to move too quickly.

Slowly, he followed her, strategically keeping himself between her and the one place she most wanted to go.

Her voice strained to escape from her tightened throat. "This is a protected place. You can't be here. I thought Jimmy..."

That made him grin the same way he had that day in the village when he first saw her with Brandon and Jimmy.

"Bennet is good. He knows how to protect himself. Keeps a good eye on that brother of his. You know, even my father is afraid of what Jimmy'd do if anything happened to his little brother."

Mary's heart froze at the mention of Brandon. Had this monster been around Brandon? Had he hurt him?

"Don't worry. The little shit is fine. This is where you come in."

Mary had a hand on the kitchen counter of the island. "What?"

"We're going to send them a message. From me and you." They were in the kitchen now, her back to the stove as he leaned towards her. "I'm sure we have lots of time before anyone comes checking on you."

His voice was husky with excitement. She hadn't been sure she'd be able to do it until just then at the sound of his pleasure at her fear. If she could just get away, someone would hear or see her, someone might help her.

Mary reached a hand back and grabbed one of the knives from the utensil pot behind her. It crashed to the ground as she swung her arm around to stab him. But she'd never stabbed a person before, and he had probably killed plenty of times in his young life. He grabbed her arm, holding it strongly away from her body. It was then, trying to not look into his evil smirk that she saw the large hunting knife strapped to his belt in its own sheath. She knew there was no way she could grab it with her other hand and use it in time. As the thought occurred to her, brushing away her last shred of hope, he reached forward and grabbed her free hand.

Holding both arms apart, he stood before her, looking down at her, his smile so near her she could bite it. Her parents had given their lives to see she got away with her life. She refused to give her life up easily.

Brandon ~11, Jimmy & Mary ~18, Killer ~18/19

Burn -->

And just who the heck is Shawn anyway?


  1. Eek, not good. That shot of Killer grinning is just too creepy...

    Great chapter mate.

  2. OMG, you can't end it *there*!!!! lol!

    And the creepiest thing? The pictures you chose, never once showing his eyes! Like he doesn't even have a soul!

    OMG, run, Mary, run! Break his fingers! Go for the groin! Poke him in the eyes! Don't let him take you to the second location!!! For crying out loud, don't they have self-defense classes in this godawful place!!! lol!

    I love the look on her face in that last picture! I see a fighter in her, so I hope she puts up a fight! I'm so scared for her! *bites nails until the next update*

  3. Oh my... :(

    This is not good, not good at all. I hope she finds a way out, but her chances seem rather slim.

    At least it does look like she'll fight...oh man it's going to be bad, though.

  4. Too much tension. Did you just put them in dark rooms with no light? The darkness is very effective.

  5. Poida, thanks. Funny thing about that smile, that was all him. I told him to do something mean to her and boom got that smile. It actually kinda creeped me out. One of those moments where the camera spins and around and boom, you're faced with that.

    Laura, lol!

    Oh, you know, that's true. But he does have a soul; it's just horribly twisted.

    And you know, the self defense thing, I've actually given some thought to that! Most are probably taught self defense by their loved ones, like Brandon was probably taught by Jimmy early on.

    She is definitely a fighter.

    Rachel, I definitely can't say anything, so we'll find out how bad next week!

    Rad, thanks. It's actually a basement under the care center lot. I used the oil looking lamp, then set it to flame color and dimmed it. It's sitting over by the couch and as they move towards the kitchen, they move away from the light.

  6. "His voice was husky with excitement."

    This just sent chills down my spine, especially in light of what Brandon said in the last chapter, how Killer liked to hurt girls.

    And noooooo! Cliffhanger!

    I just so badly want Mary to get away from Killer. She's definitely a fighter, you can tell. Is she strong enough though? It seems like her chances are pretty slim

  7. Oh crap. Killer wants to send a message. How in the heck did he get back there?

    I don't know what is worse, him killing her or just hurting her badly. My guess is the more she fights, the worse he will hurt her too.

    Interesting that Killer mentions Henri's concern over Jimmy's powers and how Jimmy would react if Brandon was hurt in any way...I would think that Killer would keep that in mind with Mary.

    My stomach is in knots over what is going to happen!

  8. Carla, that is one line that I've never touched since I wrote it a while back. Killer is... yeah.

    I know what you mean.

    Gayl, you ask a very good question. I know sort of how-- he's a sneaky bastard. There's more, but we'll get to that someday.

    I can't really say what's worse, but you're right in your guess.

    Also, you're so strangely prophetic! Seriously, lol. In a way, I think Killer does have that very much in mind.

  9. stunning and ominous. You are able to evoke so much emotion from what seems like simple shots, but obviously they are not. Your writing really is a shining beacon of professionalism. Bravo on another incredible update!

  10. Somehow, I felt it in my gut that Killer had plans for Mary. That evil demon grin of his was chilling to the extreme. And his husky, excited voice. Pain turns him on, wonderful. Yuck. I love Mary's determined look in the last shot, but will it all be for naught?
    And I thought Jimmy was thorough, he did not do a very thorough job of seeing Killer off. I still wonder what they discussed in the woods, if anything.

    Chilling and creepy and wow, what a cliffhanger!

  11. I've been thinking about this a lot. My first impressions of Jimmy from Paula's perspective had me distrusting him greatly but now that I know about Mary I wonder if Jimmy took Paula in order to protect her as opposed to doing her harm.

    And I find it very interesting that Henri can have such diversely strange yet powerful offspring. Makes me wonder who is is out there with his DNA.

    Thinking more about Killer knowing what Jimmy might do, I wonder if he is counting on that or just so psychopathic and cruel that he doesn't care.

  12. Thank you SB, that really means a lot.

    Drew, I will say Killer probably noticed something about Mary that day, even if he hadn't made plans. It's probably the same thing he noticed about Edy in the later story.

    Jimmy is thorough. But Killer... Also what they discussed in the woods is a good question. Only Jimmy and Killer would know, and Brandon can't read Jimmy's mind.

    Gayl, that's a good point. Of course, he could also have been thinking about Brandon at the time too.

    Oh, that's another good question. I've actually explored that a little and found a theme. But it won't be clear for a while yet.

    As for that last part, it might be a little of both. Killer does mention that Jimmy knows how to protect himself by keeping his brother close. It seems he might be taking a cue from a myth...

  13. Oh, Lunar! How dare you let us hang in here like this... lol.
    This is brilliant!

    When Shawn says "now you start thinking like one of us..." does she mean like a human? Or does she mean like an (half) experiment? Or does she mean like "we knew how dangerous Jimmy can be and you didn't want to see it?"

    From what Shawn says it sounds like Jimmy has passed his rites and come into full power. It also sounds like he is a lot "stronger" than Killer.

    I think Killer tried to hurt Brandon. It must have been bad if Henri agreed with Jimmy that Killer had to go... and let Jimmy deal with it.

    So now he can't have a go at Brandon, he goes for the other person Jimmy cares for... He must absolutely hate Jimmy. I wonder it's because of Jimmy's promotion.

    What a difference with the entrance of Ghost! Here you know immediately that Mary is in grave and absolute danger. This degenerate is out to get her... When he said "Bennett" instead of Jimmy, it reminded me of Jimmy's unstable father. I wonder whether Killer is unstable.

    His smirk is evil, but I could not help notice how beautiful his mouth is... lovely teeth too. I think that makes it worse.

    I'm glad Mary is putting up a fight. Very glad... and I pray her luck isn't running out.

  14. When Shawn said that, I think she actually meant more like a tribe member. I don't think she'd actually make a distinction between herself and other humans. (She's an Experiment if you're wondering. I don't know if you saw her profile.)

    *hods* Jimmy and Killer are comparable at least.

    Actually, the scene in my head of Jimmy chasing Killer out, I think you might be surprised about what happened. But I don't know when or how I can show you that scene. It came out while I was exploring Henri's past. Hmmm...

    And Killer's hate for Jimmy is compounded by this promotion. You always catch these types of things!

    As for his teeth, I'm just lazy at the details, lol. I probably should have dirtied his teeth up a bit, but that smile was so evil...

    Thanks Moondaisy! I think you've helped with the next update!

  15. Oh man! You have no idea how happy and excited I was to just sit in front of my computer enjoying my evening away with so many chapters all at once! ^^

    And then you stopped it here. D8

    Nuuuuu!!! Don't let it happen, not to sweet, brave Mary! ':( Please, Jimmy, come now! My heart nearly skipped a beat when I saw his tattoo (when he first stood behind Mary).

    Anyway, I was very, very (pleasantly, may I add) surprised by Jimmy's behaviour towards Mary. That he wouldn't bed her so that she wouldn't have to bear the consequences surprised me even more. I almost couldn't believe he had such a side to him, lol. But the part about them not even knowing how he killed his father was creepy. He could kill with his mind or something? 8| The villagers' fear towards him sure wasn't misplaced.

    Also, a question popped in my head while reading this chapter: did Killer have some mind-reading abilities? He seemed to be able to counter her moves and answer her unspoken questions.

    Lastly, I love how you switch from writing in present tense in Paula's story to past tense in Mary's. ;)

  16. LOL! At least you don't have to wait long for an update. It's done and will be ready tomorrow.

    I'm glad you were pleasantly surprised by Jimmy's behavior. I really had fun looking at this side of him. I imagine it doesn't come out very often.

    As for Killer, just remember you said that.

    And thanks! It was a style choice that felt right in this case.